DP deleting social media

[456notsure]

DP decided that he wants to deactivate all his social media today. His reasoning was that he wastes an awful lot of time scrolling and wants to use his free time better, he “just doesn’t want to be on it anymore”.

It seems quite sudden and it sounds silly but we’re at the age where us and our friends post quite a lot about holidays, each other’s birthdays etc. Is it bad that I feel sad that we won’t be able to do this? He says in person is more important.
I guess I worry too as he’s been very much all over social media before and when we met; we haven’t been together long - but now he suddenly wants completely off and I feel like it could be my fault somehow?

I deleted my Instagram and FB recently (as did a few of my friends actually). I don't have anything to hide. I decided I just don't care for anyone to know what I'm up to unless they're people I speak to regularly anyway. I'm at the age where it's all people posting their new homes and cars and it got a bit tiresome.

DP and I have never wished each other happy birthday online, but we've had many lovely birthdays together.

Oh dear, I don't even post on DH's FB etc for his birthday nor him fine! Would think it's a bit weird when I'm literally with him on the day!

@456notsure

I meant posting for each other’s birthdays which I quite like - sorry if it sounds a bit sad

😂

My DH has a FB account but hasn't posted in years and rarely checks it. I do tag him in family pictures etc but he never looks or responds. I actually like it - one of my exes used to stalk every single thing I did on social media and would look through my friends list and look at the profiles at people I'd slept with or dated. Social media is toxic and I totally understand why he wants to do it.

This is very sad - sorry.

Completely understand this. My BF is never really on his and I can see the peace it brings! I'm on mine too much, more than I would like and am comfortable with, but I do find it useful for FB marketplace etc.

Not everything is your fault. Repeat until you believe it.

My DH doesn't have any SM, I still post what I want about our bdays etc

I don't have SM apart from this and my DH says happy birthday to me in person. I don't feel I miss out.
Unless you see suspicious m

@BloodyN0rah

OK, here comes the MN cynicism - could he have anything to hide and could this be why he's suddenly so coy? It could be perfectly innocent but have you considered the alternatives?

That would be my thought.

Sorry posted too soon
Unless you feel suspicious as to why he is deleting all of a sudden. I found it liberating at first but it can prove problematic with kids sports groups etc and my DH often has to check things for me.

So you are worried he won't say happy birthday in real life? Or that he won't be posting on your sm?

Is there a massive back story? Has he hurt you in the past and you need the constant reassurance that he loves you and thinks about you all the time?

Otherwise, needing your partner to publicly wish you a happy birthday is quite sad.

Why does it bother you? It's not your SM accounts. YABVU.

Deleting SM was the best thing I ever did. I spent WAY to much time posting and pointlessly scrolling, and keeping "friendships/relationships" that clearly wasn't real IN real life. The idea that everyone needs to be liked, have the most likes, the most friends, the competition etc really started to grate on me and it really started to get to me. This is my personal experience of course, but I found those friendships ended when I deleted which was so sad, nobody checked in, nobody called (a few did but the effort went both ways) my mental health is so much better for it and I spend my time wisely. my DH doesn't use SM and never has liked it either so he couldn't ever understand my obsession with FB/INSTA, and I never understood what the fuss was about until I took that step to pull myself away and realised HOW obsessed and sucked into it I was. 🤭

@LottyD32

My DH doesn't have any SM, I still post what I want about our bdays etc

But... how Just kidding. My husband doesn't have SM too. And I just stopped using mine. So basically we are dead [grim]

I know it sounds crazy but some people...never had Facebook! 😱

You can still post about his birthday.

I'm with your DP. Have stopped using pretty much all social media recently .... have freed up so much time. Just mumsnet to go 😂 (sorry mumsnet).

This is a non issue. IMO you should be supporting your DP, as coming off social media isn't easy and they obviously have a reason to want to.

My DH doesn't have facebook and I don't do twitter. It's find. All this posting to each other is a bit weird anyway, it's almost like couples don't speak to each other anymore.

DH has never had any social media. He doesn't even own a phone, much less take photos and post them to Facebook.

It's never occurred to me to feel sad about this, in fact I quite like that he has no interest in it all and has absolutely no online presence.

I have deleted fb and have reduced my Instagram to almost nothing, just dogs and other animals really. It was wasting my time and really damaging my mental health.

I don’t use social media (other than whatsapp for chatting and MN) and think I’m definitely happier for it.

I’m with your DP.

I don’t what boggles my mind more -

1. The fact that OP is surprised that someone is sick of the world as it is right now and wants to digitally detox

1. That OP wishes someone else to stay on socials so that she can wish him happy birthday online for others to see the wish (WTF.)

1. That this is a thing.

I agree in person, or via a phone call is better. I've not ended all social media but got rid of a lot a few months ago and think it has been good.