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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Terrified dancer

73 replies

NameChanged011 · 25/02/2022 10:37

My sister is getting married this year and wants to do a group dance with the four siblings. It's obviously a lovely idea but I'm absolutely terrified as I've always been an extremely introverted and self conscious person. The idea of getting up there makes me anxious.
I feel guilty for being like this and don't want to let her down. Is there any way to navigate without annoying anyone?

OP posts:
BloodyN0rah · 25/02/2022 10:44

Is there any way to navigate without annoying anyone?

Sorry, no, I don't think there is. You either annoy your sister by saying you can't do it or annoy yourself by saying you can. You just have to decide which option is the least awful. If you're going to be dreading it for a long time then I would be honest now and say you can't do it.

MichelleScarn · 25/02/2022 10:46

What type of group dance, like Beyone Single Ladies, a line dance or more like ballroom?

LindaEllen · 25/02/2022 10:48

Weddings are supposed to be fun, and something for everyone involved to look forward to. I am absolutely crap at dancing, and the thought of this would terrify me, too.

Say no. There are plenty of ways to mark your sister getting married other than dancing - and if the other siblings are happy to do it, they can do it as a 3. You don't need to perform, that's asking too much.

BessAndCress · 25/02/2022 10:49

It's not "obviously a lovely idea".

Actually, I've never heard of this - she wants the four of you to get up and perform a dance routine for the other guests? ...Why?

lucillelarusso · 25/02/2022 10:50

It sounds like a massive cringe-fest
Fucking awful op!

FuckThatBullshit · 25/02/2022 11:01

Cringe

newbiename · 25/02/2022 11:03

I'd have to 'accidentally' break my leg if someone asked me to do that.

youdoyoutoday · 25/02/2022 11:05

I can't think of anything worse!
What kind of dance does she want to do?

Nesbo · 25/02/2022 11:06

I’m with you OP, why would anyone want to watch you all dance, especially if you’re not all enjoying it. Surely dancing with her husband is enough (or has he said no to that?).

nearlyspringyay · 25/02/2022 11:06

I've only ever seen this at Indian weddings, it's kind of cool and the ones I have seen everyone can actually dance.

Personally I can't think of anything worse and I'd say no.

MrsTimRiggins · 25/02/2022 11:08

Sorry, what? A dance? Presumably not just a normal dance but a choreographed number? I don’t blame you for feeling apprehensive, that sounds awful tbh.
I have no idea how you’re going to get out of it without causing offence tho. Sort of a dick move from your sister tho, she knows you’re introverted so would know this would not be fun for you

heldinadream · 25/02/2022 11:08

Like a performance?
Introduce the wonderful concept of 'Bridezilla' to her. Ask her where she thinks requiring you to perform at her wedding sits on the Bridezilla spectrum between mildly crackers and downright narcissistic batshit.

You DO NOT have to do this, at all.

Octomore · 25/02/2022 11:09

What's the backstory - are you all dancers? Have you previously done dance classes together? And what kind of dance is she envisaging?

If not, where has the idea come from? And I agree that it's necessarily 'obviously' a lovely idea unless there is some context to explain it.

Mamamia7962 · 25/02/2022 11:09

Couldn't think of anything worse. Is this something that has come over from America? I just find them cringy. Just say you don't want to do it.

BadPlaceJanet · 25/02/2022 11:09

OH Lord - it'd be a hard pass from me, I'm afraid.

MsHampton · 25/02/2022 11:11

Hell no! I would not be taking part.
You have two options.
You either tell her how terrified you are and you really can't do it.
Or, you convince her what a cringeworthy terrible idea it is. Would she be receptive to this?

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 25/02/2022 11:13

@lucillelarusso

It sounds like a massive cringe-fest Fucking awful op!
This. In spades.
H1Drangea · 25/02/2022 11:13

That’s an awful idea
Like @newbiename I’d rather break my own leg

Georgeskitchen · 25/02/2022 11:14

Oh god no very cringy and embarrassing 😳

sweeneytoddsrazor · 25/02/2022 11:14

Is this really becoming a thing.? I have seen a few on you tube where the bride ànd father dance turns into something very choreographed or the groom and his groomsmen do a dance, but honestly I think it is really cringe. Most of the ones I have seen have been American so I àssume its more common there.

CounsellorTroi · 25/02/2022 11:14

Is she hoping it will go viral on YouTube or something?

Just say no.

unfortunateevents · 25/02/2022 11:14

I've seen several of these on Youtube - it may have been cool once or twice where the participants were wonderful singers or dancers and pulled off a slick performance, but mostly now it is just a cringe-fest where self-conscious guests wobbling around in unfamiliar heels, full-length gowns and rented tuxes have been roped into an under-rehearsed mash-up of some popular songs with the bride and groom parked on chairs in front of them. A this stage it isn't fun for anyone and the moment when it was trendy has passed. Say no!

Cravingsweets · 25/02/2022 11:16

Tell her you'll do the videoing.

ANameChangeAgain · 25/02/2022 11:18

I'd have to 'accidentally' break my leg if someone asked me to do that. ha ha, I once pretended to have a sprained ankle to get our of our work's team fancy dress pancake race through our local town centre. Grin
Is it Thriller @NameChanged011?

cherrysthename · 25/02/2022 11:18

As a guest I couldn't think of watching anything more cringey so I would fully empathise if you looked uncomfortable.
Much alcohol is needed, I think.