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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Terrified dancer

73 replies

NameChanged011 · 25/02/2022 10:37

My sister is getting married this year and wants to do a group dance with the four siblings. It's obviously a lovely idea but I'm absolutely terrified as I've always been an extremely introverted and self conscious person. The idea of getting up there makes me anxious.
I feel guilty for being like this and don't want to let her down. Is there any way to navigate without annoying anyone?

OP posts:
Winter2020 · 25/02/2022 11:20

Have a look at Ed Sheeran "thinking out loud" wedding dances on YouTube. Couples have recreated the sexy dancing between Ed and his dancer at their weddings. It is hilariously painful as Great uncles and Grannys get up close views of the couple in action. Hopefully might give you a laugh and think at least it won't be that bad (hopefully you are nit being asked to do sexy dancing wearing a leotard). If you are asked to recreate this dance - it's a no!

Plexie · 25/02/2022 11:20

@newbiename

I'd have to 'accidentally' break my leg if someone asked me to do that.
How about a 'sprained' ankle? Wrap a compression bandage around your ankle and put a small pebble in your shoe so that you limp a bit. Oh dear, what a pity, you'll have to sit out the dance.
MinglingFlamingo · 25/02/2022 11:20

Oh hell no!

I'd break my leg for rehearsals then told to rest it and go easy on the leg for the actual wedding .

At the very least I'd be investing in a pit of crutches

RishiRich · 25/02/2022 11:20

Just say no thanks or suggest that all the relatives do a dance, not just siblings.

irregularegular · 25/02/2022 11:21

Oh god no! Why?? Unless you are the sort of family where this is a natural part of family celebrations and so would be more or less spontaneous, this sounds like an awful idea. What exactly has she got in mind??

I think you are allowed to just politely say that it is a lovely idea but you'd just feel too awkward.

JellybabyGina87 · 25/02/2022 11:22

Tell her no. I know to some people you might look a spoilsport but if it's going to cause you that much embarrassment which to be fair is understandable, then its wrong of her to insist on it. She doesn't get to order people around just because it's her wedding day.

DrSbaitso · 25/02/2022 11:25

What kind of dance?

Feeellostindirection · 25/02/2022 11:25

My sister likes to dance and I don't, this would be a nightmare for me unless I was pissed as a fart and then I'd likely ruin it anyway. I'd just say no now. Not to mention it sounds hideously cringy anyway.

ThinWomansBrain · 25/02/2022 11:28

sounds very cringe.
say no - do all of the guests a favour

babybunny123 · 25/02/2022 11:28

Could not think of anything worse to do or watch. Tell her no way !!!

girlmom21 · 25/02/2022 11:29

@newbiename

I'd have to 'accidentally' break my leg if someone asked me to do that.
I second the broken leg. You don't really have many options.
VelvetChairGirl · 25/02/2022 11:30

try using interpretive dance to say no.

Smartiepants79 · 25/02/2022 11:32

Sound bloody cringe and awful.
Just why?
Explain why you don’t want to, maybe try an alternative suggestion? She’s your sister? She likes you? Why would she want to make you miserable at her own wedding?

Smartiepants79 · 25/02/2022 11:33

@VelvetChairGirl

try using interpretive dance to say no.
😂 you win,LOL!
MintyGreenDream · 25/02/2022 11:36

I'm not an introvert and I wouldn't do this.Sounds cringy

BuyDirt · 25/02/2022 11:37

I've always been an extremely introverted and self conscious person.

Presumably your sister knows this, so it won’t be a massive surprise to her when you tell her that you can’t do it. If she’s annoyed with you, then that would make her a bitch. She should want her sister to feel relaxed at her wedding and enjoy the day, not feel terrified. Just tell her.

tiredanddangerous · 25/02/2022 11:37

I've got a pair of crutches in my loft - want to borrow them??

Original poster
NameChanged011 · 25/02/2022 11:37

I should clarify, it's an Indian thing where it's a little bit more common and not on the wedding day itself. It's more like a pre-wedding celebration so there will be lots of dancing! So not easy to get out.
She's not a bridezilla at all, I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 25/02/2022 11:38

It’s not a lovely idea. You are an autonomous human being and you can say no. Your sister may be getting married but it doesn’t make her a dictator who must be obeyed.

SuperSocks · 25/02/2022 11:42

It doesn't matter if it's expected in your culture or whatever - your sister should know you well enough to understand it would be torture and care about you enough to be on your side against any other relatives who might be trying to insist on it too!! I am sorry OP, it is very awkward.

Octomore · 25/02/2022 11:45

@NameChanged011

I should clarify, it's an Indian thing where it's a little bit more common and not on the wedding day itself. It's more like a pre-wedding celebration so there will be lots of dancing! So not easy to get out. She's not a bridezilla at all, I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
This makes a lot more sense.

However, if you're not comfortable with it, you shouldn't do it. I'd just talk to her about your reasons for saying no. She's your sister, so she shouldn't want you to be uncomfortable.

Jedsnewstar · 25/02/2022 11:48

It’s not a lovely idea it’s tacky and very unoriginal. There are so many insta luvvies and celebrities that do this, completely cringe. Bridezilla 101.

Iluvfriends · 25/02/2022 11:50

It would be a no from me......i don't 'perform' for anyone.
If i'm not comfortable with something i don't do it. Yes i fear of upsetting people but my feelings come first.

BlondeWidow · 25/02/2022 11:56

Omg how tacky... Let me guess, her and her husband are doing Dirty Dancing!?

BessAndCress · 25/02/2022 11:57

@NameChanged011

I should clarify, it's an Indian thing where it's a little bit more common and not on the wedding day itself. It's more like a pre-wedding celebration so there will be lots of dancing! So not easy to get out. She's not a bridezilla at all, I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Oh, OK. That does change my feelings on it. I think just talk to her about it, explore what she has in mind. It doesn't need to be a big confrontation, she might not have given it much thought yet and she might not be dead set on it. Equally, it might be that there's a way you're comfortable with participating. And once it's done, it's done - might just be one to grit your teeth and get through and never think about again.