Terrified dancer

[NameChanged011]

My sister is getting married this year and wants to do a group dance with the four siblings. It's obviously a lovely idea but I'm absolutely terrified as I've always been an extremely introverted and self conscious person. The idea of getting up there makes me anxious.
I feel guilty for being like this and don't want to let her down. Is there any way to navigate without annoying anyone?

Vodka, about half a bottle should do it, you either won't care or will be incapacitated, win win.

This type of hell is all over Instagram. We didn't even do a first dance as I find people in a circle, staring at me absolutely cringey. I don't like watching first dances either. Makes my skin itch just thinking about it. If it is going to make you dread the wedding say so now. You are allowed to have a different personality to your sister.

Me and my mates still privately laugh at/mock a wedding where the bride and her siblings did a choreographed dance. It was 15 years ago. We even call the bride "Bad Dance Liz" to differentiate her from another Liz we know.

The drip feed about it being an Indian wedding changes the context!

Some people who might have been circumspect in the pest like the 'permission'' and social acceptance of exhibitionism from Karaoke, fancy dress parties, charity fund raising and now presumably weddings. Good for them but to extend it to the unwilling in the guise of 'all the siblings do this' seems unwelcome. A gentle no.

@NameChanged011

I should clarify, it's an Indian thing where it's a little bit more common and not on the wedding day itself. It's more like a pre-wedding celebration so there will be lots of dancing! So not easy to get out. She's not a bridezilla at all, I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I was thinking it might be something like this. Despite all the cringing MNers like to do, it really isn't very common in traditional British weddings and it does change the context a bit.

I'd hope it made it easier for you because it's a lot more of a cultural norm. Still, if you're close to her then I'd hope you could have a conversation about it. If you don't tell her, you really can't blame her for not knowing.

She must know your ways surely to God. My sister would never ask me to do something like as she knows there's no way not for all the love nor money in the world that id be making a pillock of myself.

Oh god I’m cringing for you. Just say no. Why do people have to do these dances. They’re just embarrassing and no one comes out of them looking good😳

This is the curse of social media. People see them and think they are great. They aren't, they are awful. I went to a wedding where the brides father and his choir sang his own penned song to her. It was one of the worst things I have ever seen. I wanted to crawl inside myself to not witness it. I would say however is there a chance you will stick out more if you act up about not doing it?

Yanbu don’t do it

I would hate this but if it was something my sister really wanted (and in all honesty my sister knows me well enough to know that I would hate it and would not ask it if me anyway!) I would probably put a lot of practice in and get to a point where my dance skills were passable. I would also get reasonably drunk beforehand.

If she's a decent human being she won't mind you saying no, so it's easy to do without annoying anyone - just say no (actually if she was really a decent human being she'd have asked, not told, and made it absolutely clear you were under no obligation).

If she's not a decent person then why would you care if you about her - she doesn't care about your feelings, so don't waste your energy caring about hers.

Either way - just say no

There was a thread on here a while ago, and the OP was expected to do the thriller dance with her siblings at a wedding. Think it’s in classics now.

@BessAndCress

It's not "obviously a lovely idea".

Actually, I've never heard of this - she wants the four of you to get up and perform a dance routine for the other guests? ...Why?

^this. It's wanky.

Unless you're The Nolan's, then it's a huge no!

I'm an extrovert who isn't shy to do daft stuff, but this is just a cringe-fest.

The Indian context makes a big difference to the cringe/naff factor. Different cultural norms. But it is still perfectly OK to explain that you are uncomfortable with it and say no. Is there any other way you could participate that doesn't actually involve dancing??

Omg I would absolutely HATE this!

Just tell her straight that it makes you sick thinking about it as you're so nervous. I'm sure she'll understand.

I went to a wedding where some of the guests were her netball team - they jumped up, tucked their skirts into the shorts they had on underneath, and did a 'routine' like cheerleaders. It ended in a human pyramid and was very - entertaining. I was scared that they would fall or hurt someone, but it was all very good.

I would be terrified to do something like that.

Can you help provide some music - literally something like a tambourine, bells or drum to bang - so that you are involved and busy with the dance but not in a way that makes you want to die of cringe?

This is why I didn't have a sangeet but just a cocktail party where my parents hired a bhangra troupe -- want to see dancers perform? See the professionals do it.

I HATE cheoreographed family dances at Indian weddings. I did it once at a cousin's wedding only to be ribbed about my (lack of) dancing skills. Nah, count me out for next time.

I mean, a part of me would absolutely love this, but I did just search out that old thread about the thriller dance at the wedding mentioned upthread, and that led me to google for thriller wedding dances and having seen a few of these now I can see that what's been hoped for isn't always achieved. Why was Thriller such a popular choice??? But that's a digression. Your body your rules OP. Your family can dance if they want to.