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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you tolerate your DP/DH liking sexy photos of OW on SM

52 replies

Lollipop858 · 24/02/2022 11:01

I’ve read quite a few threads on here about peoples DPs/DHs liking scantily clad sexy pics of OW on Instagram/FB etc, so I’m genuinely curious…

Would this upset you?

YABU - no it wouldn’t
YANBU - yes I’d dump his ass

OP posts:
Adeleskirts · 24/02/2022 12:23

@neverknowinglyunreasonable

Are the only options this wouldn't upset me or I'd dump them? Good. Because I've been with my partner for 23 years but if they so much as looked at someone in their swimwear on social media they would be out the door so fast they wouldn't know what had hit them.
How can you control what he looks at? You can’t really think in all that time he’s never looked at another woman and averts his eyes? Confused
AlternativePerspective · 24/02/2022 12:24

Firstly I think you’ve misunderstood the meaning of the term OW. OW equals affair partner in which case you have bigger fish to fry.

If we’re talking other women in general then it depends. Most women would look at a picture of a sexy celebrity and even if they didn’t click the like button they might well have a view on them.There have certainly been enough threads on here extolling the virtues of certain celebrities. So if we’re talking celebs then meh, everyone does it.

If we’re talking random women from god knows where I’d be wanting to know just what kind of social media they’re on to have found them in the first place.

HollowTalk · 24/02/2022 12:24

OP, are you talking about other women, ie an unknown woman on social media, or are you talking about the OW - a woman he's had an affair with?

Googlecanthelpme · 24/02/2022 12:28

Overt sexy thirst trap photos - I would not be impressed.

Women that are blatantly attractive but the photo is more than just a pic of her looking sexy - more acceptable.

I do like photos of men on sm to be fair, not models in tiny white pants or anything but definitely attractive influencers or celebs that I like personality wise so it would be bit hypocritical to say he couldn’t do the same

Lollipop858 · 24/02/2022 12:29

Sorry all, just to clarify I meant “other women” not an affair partner. That’s my fault for being sleep deprived lol.

Not asking for me I was just curious in general after a lot of threads I’ve seen on here about it

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 24/02/2022 12:32

My DD's husband used to do this all the time, I have no idea if he still does as I never look at anything he posts these days.

I find it sleazy and disrespectful and certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who did it.

Chasingaftermidnight · 24/02/2022 12:38

Celebrities - I’d think it was a bit pathetic but it wouldn’t bother me.

If he were deliberately following those kinds of Instagram accounts where random women post nothing but scantily clad selfies then yes, that would bother me.

Geordie01 · 24/02/2022 12:40

Assuming it's not OW aka other woman he's had an affair then you are being massively unreasonable. It's a picture, the insecurity on MN is sometimes unreal. Do you really think Kim Kardashian or the likes is going to be on the first plane over to run away with Keith from Leeds? Get over yourself.
I just don't get this "how dare you look at another woman" / "LTB for looking at another woman" etc. and holier than thou attitude. I work in hospitality and can honestly say women on hen parties are 100 times 'thirstier' than men on stag parties. Christ I may start an AMA thread Wink

LittleGwyneth · 24/02/2022 12:40

Are these celebrities or people he knows? The former wouldn't bother me, the latter I would explain why it troubled me and if he didn't stop that would then be a bigger conversation.

WonderfulYou · 24/02/2022 12:45

I wouldn’t mind it as I ‘like’ pictures of both men and women online too.

If it was someone he knew and he was just liking that one women’s photos and not other women then I’d have an issue with it.

I don’t know how their partner would know if you ‘like’ pictures anyway.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 24/02/2022 12:46

No. I would not.

BuyDirt · 24/02/2022 12:54

Geordie01

For me it doesn’t come from a place of insecurity, everyone finds people attractive. I just wouldn’t be with a bloke that spent his time ‘liking’ photos of women on social media, it’s different from just thinking an actress is attractive whilst watching a film or glancing at an attractive woman in the pub. To spend time scrolling through photos, clicking a like button, just seems a bit pervy. Also the men that do it, seem to do it in private, not when their partners in the room, it’s just a bit grim. Looking at women and judging whether they are attractive enough for a ‘like’, just doesn’t sit tight with me. It shows a lack of respect for women in general, like they’re objects to be marked out of 10. 🤮

MunchyMonsters · 24/02/2022 12:56

I wouldn't have a clue what my DP was 'liking' on social media.

BuyDirt · 24/02/2022 12:57

sit right

Dahlietta · 24/02/2022 13:00

It's not really something I would expect a fully-functioning adult to do, to be honest. I am a bit of a dinosaur though.

Sweetlikejollof · 24/02/2022 13:33

I keep seeing posts about this. I find it such an odd thing to be concerned about.

I have no idea what he ‘likes’ on social media. It’s not a topic that interests me at all.

Lampzade · 24/02/2022 13:38

I would think that he was sleazy , creepy and desperate tbh. I would lose respect for him

bettertocryinamercedes · 24/02/2022 14:27

I would not like it at all.
But dh doesn't have any social media thank god so I don't have to worry about it

KalaniM · 24/02/2022 14:33

@Dahlietta

It's not really something I would expect a fully-functioning adult to do, to be honest. I am a bit of a dinosaur though.
This!

I wouldn’t be ok with it at all. WTAF?! That’s lonely single bloke behaviour.

JamSandwich89 · 24/02/2022 14:54

@BuyDirt

Geordie01

For me it doesn’t come from a place of insecurity, everyone finds people attractive. I just wouldn’t be with a bloke that spent his time ‘liking’ photos of women on social media, it’s different from just thinking an actress is attractive whilst watching a film or glancing at an attractive woman in the pub. To spend time scrolling through photos, clicking a like button, just seems a bit pervy. Also the men that do it, seem to do it in private, not when their partners in the room, it’s just a bit grim. Looking at women and judging whether they are attractive enough for a ‘like’, just doesn’t sit tight with me. It shows a lack of respect for women in general, like they’re objects to be marked out of 10. 🤮

On Instagram you just double tap on a photo to like it and these sorts of photos, mostly of influencers, are often promoted so they can show up on your feed without searching for them.

Personally, I'm not bothered if DH likes these sorts of photos or not, even if they're of friends because other women can look attractive/he can find them sexy. If he started messaging the women if he didn't know them, I wouldn't be impressed haha but a like is nothing to get annoyed about in my books

BuyDirt · 24/02/2022 15:06

I wouldn't be impressed haha but a like is nothing to get annoyed about in my books

Everyone has different boundaries and standards. If the other person is ok with it, it’s not an issue. It’s just not for me. The only thing my partner ‘likes’ are dogs on tiktok and Twitter. 😂

Fairislefandango · 24/02/2022 15:30

Liking a post that had a female friend e.g. in her bikini on the beach with her family etc - absolutely fine.

Liking pouting, skimpily clad women's selfies? If it were my dh I'd think he was taking the piss out of them Grin. He wouldn't like them and wouldn't know anyone on social media who would post that kind of picture!

Would I dump the kind of husband/partner that posters often talk about doing this? Hell yes. They usually sound like sleazy scumbags in a variety of other ways too.

JamSandwich89 · 24/02/2022 15:34

Haha my DH has a lot of dog likes as well! He's desperate it get one.

hangrylady · 24/02/2022 15:48

It's like when lads in their teens and 20s used to perv over FHM magazine. Fine when you're that age but if my 45 year old husband was trawling through Instagram liking pics of 21 year olds in bikinis I'd find it pretty pathetic and also inappropriate to be honest.

NinjaQueen · 24/02/2022 16:29

Photos of his female friends going about daily life or posing with family, or on a girls night out whatever yes fine.

Posed photos of random women half dressed, I would be less than impressed. Look but it's not necessary to mark yourself out as a desperate sleaze.

Photos of celebs bothers me less.

And no I don't like photos of men either, why would I. It's just unnecessary.

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