To think school have over reacted

[worriedmum2022]

So my girls are 7 and 9 and they were playing at home and got a bit rough, my husband separated them and one of them had hold of a game in a plastic box.

The girls were fighting over who had the box husband intervened the side of the box had split and youngest 7 year old daughter got a cut on her hand. Cleaned up, girls spoken too all sorted job done

Yesterday the headteacher of dd7 rang my husband at work to say she asked dd why she had a plaster on her hand and she said daddy snatched a box off me and it cut me

She has reported this as a safeguarding concern

I mean I get they have a duty of care but this just seems a total over-reaction

No previous issues or incidents with the school but my husband is worried sick as he works where he has to have a DBS and he's worried this will be on his record

Can anyone offer any advice on this type of thing?

What was a small non-issue in your house, could be part of a wider problem/picture in another.

Schools have to treat all things the same.

Presumably this is the first thing "logged" at school for your family? I wouldn't give it another moments thought.

@busyeatingbiscuits

They’ve probably just written it as a note to keep on their files rather than “reported” it anywhere but you can always ring and check.

As a general point though, if you’re sending your child in to school or nursery with an injury they got at home always inform the school about it.

Honestly I would never have thought to do this! My dc go to 2 different childcare settings and I get reports almost daily of new bumps from wandering into furniture or falling over a toy. It would never have crossed my mind to tell the other setting what had happened. We are a clumsy family and sadly it seems to have been passed down haha.

Has she gone to school with injuries previously which would have been explained by an interaction with your DH? Because if this is the first and only one, I'm very surprised that they've had someone in to speak to her. If it were the latest of several, then that would be a pattern and this wouldn't surprise me.

(I do work in a school and we're all trained to add things like this to CPOMS. your original post didn't surprise me, this follow up makes me wonder what else is happening?)

[quote Boiledbeetle]@worriedmum2022

As a kid in infants and juniors I often went to school with cuts bruises and burns, amongst other things.

Had just one teacher paid the slightest bit of attention then maybe my childhood would have turned out better.

Please just be grateful that the staff at your children's school have the welfare of your children at the front of their mind.[/quote]
You're parents burnt and bruised you?

PP that's awful. I am so sorry.

@WeatherwaxOn

I'm more concerned that school think it is appropriate to inform someone who they feel may pose a risk that they have reported a safeguarding issue. Totally out of order.

It’s policy🙄

@Malibuismysecrethome

PriamFarri I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you. In Arthur’s case his grandmother, uncle and step grandfather all reported that Arthur was being severely abused. He wasn’t in school and wasn’t returned to school. I know of situations where people have tried to cause trouble for others maliciously and it does get escalated to social services.

You said: ‘No wonder poor abused children like Arthur receive no help from child protection and social services if they are responding to minor childhood incidents throughout every school in the country. Why does everything have to escalate to a home visit by a social worker when the same social workers deem children who are being abused as living in a home that is too violent for them to visit.’

SS do not turn up at schools or homes for every minor incident and to imply that schools reporting concerns is leading to children being ignored by SS is disgusting.
Teachers and school staff report what they see and hear. It’s then up to others to decide if this requires home visits etc. To imply that SS are turning up for every cut and bruise is wrong.

OP hoe terrifying but it will blow over

Social services do not have the resources for dealing with happy safe homes so just be pleased that the school are so on it with regards to safeguarding

Social worker will surely sign you off soon

One of the findings on our schools ofsted report was safeguarding wasn’t thoroughly recorded or something similar. They stepped up their game and rang me several times when my daughter said she wasn’t getting on with her brother and we loved him more 🤦🏻‍♀️

@worriedmum2022

Well things have progressed

Dd came home today and a social worker has been to the school and put her thru an hour of questioning doing this "3 houses method" and basically - from what I can gather has upset her and tried to intimate she is in an "unhappy house" which is so far removed it's ridiculous

School phoned me and told me and I have said "so what happens next" and they said that the social worker will
Be in touch

I'm absolutely astounded

Dd said to me that the lady was "asking her lots of questions" and asked if Mummy went out a lot or daddy and so we smoke, do we have lots of visitors, what does she like to eat

Loads of what would seem very bizarre questions

Has anyone ever had this - what happens next???

Oh god

This happened to a friend of mine at school!! She fell over. Bumped knees. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Social worker and psychiatrist turned up to the school and tried to get her to say her parents divorce fucked her up. Her parents divorced the best of friends back then and even 35 years later are STILL the best of friends. Was soooooo weird!!!

As a Social worker myself I find this bizarre to be honest. I would never be going out to a school to speak to a child if a parent hasn't given permission for me to do so. Even in a s47 it's good practice to have parents permission however if they don't give it we could then go without their permission but obviously we would have had to have a conversation about it first which from what you said didn't happen. The mash team in my local authority wouldn't have accepted that as a referral if school hadn't contacted parents and they absolutely would have contacted parents before assigning a Social worker to complete an assessment as we just do not have time to complete unneccessary assessments for minor issues. unless there's been a significant previous history of involvement with your family there's no way a small scratch with that explanation given by the child would meet the threshold for s47 enquiries.

It sounds like it was a very clumsy interview and must have been distressing for her .

@Malibuismysecrethome

No wonder poor abused children like Arthur receive no help from child protection and social services if they are responding to minor childhood incidents throughout every school in the country. Why does everything have to escalate to a home visit by a social worker when the same social workers deem children who are being abused as living in a home that is too violent for them to visit. The system needs serious overhauling. Heaven forbid you should question anything it then escalates to the family court which sits in secret. In the meantime seriously neglected and abused children get ignored by child protection.

True

No wonder poor abused children like Arthur receive no help from child protection and social services if they are responding to minor childhood incidents throughout every school in the country.

That's the thing, they're not. I can assure you. As a DSL I know how serious things have to be before a social worker will come out to the school to speak to a child directly. There is no way the incident OP described would warrant this kind of response. Either there are other, much more serious safeguarding concerns pertaining to this family or it didn't happen.

Doesn't add up. Has Dd said something (may or may not be true) and it has now escalated?

And yet several posters have experienced unnecessary intervention. Please let me be absolutely clear that I believe wholeheartedly that injuries, accidents, bruising should be investigated, but surely some judgement should be used re accelerating minor bumps etc to SS.

I got reported to social services because a child told my son to pinch a girls bum so he did, when he was 5. I think it’s difficult for schools especially when there are so many incidents of child neglect in the news. But in this case I think the school overreacted.

The vast majority of parents would see intervention (and the definition of that can change dependent on situation) as unnecessary. Its natural that they would, but its not uncessary.

Cant the child who has been questioned on "why has got plaster" go and explain further to say what ACTUALLY happened and that father was splitting up children due to a squabble - then all may be resolved or you could make an appointment yourself with the children or as a whole family unit - the 4 of you.

Its not as it its a broken finger - a plaster ?

I think "nanny" state goes a bit too far, but equally my son when he was about 6 years of age was continually brining back a young girl from his class and I was fed-up of feeding her, until one day she came in with visible things crawling in her hair, so at that point walked to her mothers house - which found out was rented - a single parent - who was an alcholic - and no food in the house, so cant remember who it was who had called the authorities - school + social services at that time 30 years ago, but good of it all came in the end and this woman got help.

Know this is an entirely different "issue" but guess teacher/school are just doing a job at the end of the day.

Personally I think schools should focus on teaching. It's regrettable so many don't And if any school teacher thinks their remit may exceed that, they may at all times ensure the speak to every single parent as their adult equal.

And to add if any school teacher wishes to question a family's parenting I trust their teaching and grasp of the correct use of English and basic mathematics is absolutely perfect. Stones and glass houses and all that jazz.

@RosesAndHellebores

Personally I think schools should focus on teaching. It's regrettable so many don't And if any school teacher thinks their remit may exceed that, they may at all times ensure the speak to every single parent as their adult equal.

Teachers have a duty to report concerns. They receive safeguarding training and there is a safeguarding lead in every school.

It is often teachers that are best placed to pick up on neglect and abuse.
It is absolutely their remit and your post just makes you look massively ignorant.

@dirtyjoan thank you so much. They may have responsibilities for safeguarding. MIL was one - that woman caused so much damage to her children. There are a great many school teachers I have come across who I would not trust to have appropriate judgement. ds's best friend's parents for example: a deputy headmistress and headmaster at the time who regularly had a joint in the early evenings - and told me. DS never slept over there ever again

@worriedmum2022 I am so pleased that you have sought legal advice. I asked SS for help re my youngest, SN, no more as it's outing, but it was an absolute NIGHTMARE. I couldn't get these people out of our lives for years, so many meetings etc, money for old rope, they just sit on their arses & get paid a fortune for making you feel like the worst mother - I hadn't DONE anything! I had to do a parenting course, despite having brought other children up successfully..
I'm sure you'll all be sitting there thinking 'there must have been more to it' as some of you have suggested to OP, no, there really ISN'T, and yet in the past week I have read about one girl who died from being abandoned, and another, an older ASD boy who was neglected in his room & weighed three & a half stone when help finally got to him.
Where were the people watching out for THEM?
I'm going to stop now because I can feel my blood pressure shooting up.
Oh, my youngest now? He's lovely. Still special needs, obviously, and HAPPY in a family who love him.

This bloody awful country we live in. You can’t break up a fight between your own kids in the privacy of your own home without it being a problem. Makes my blood boil. Now you all suffer trauma because a teacher asked about a plaster, just ridiculous. Good luck OP hope you get sorted out quickly 💗