To think school have over reacted

[worriedmum2022]

So my girls are 7 and 9 and they were playing at home and got a bit rough, my husband separated them and one of them had hold of a game in a plastic box.

The girls were fighting over who had the box husband intervened the side of the box had split and youngest 7 year old daughter got a cut on her hand. Cleaned up, girls spoken too all sorted job done

Yesterday the headteacher of dd7 rang my husband at work to say she asked dd why she had a plaster on her hand and she said daddy snatched a box off me and it cut me

She has reported this as a safeguarding concern

I mean I get they have a duty of care but this just seems a total over-reaction

No previous issues or incidents with the school but my husband is worried sick as he works where he has to have a DBS and he's worried this will be on his record

Can anyone offer any advice on this type of thing?

@HoppingPavlova

The thing that bothers me is it all appears to be one sided.

I had one child who was 6yo and had a end of year dancing concert mid-week (venue availability and lower cost I would think). It ran over and ended after midnight, all kids had to participate in grand finale. It’s was a once-off once a year. We got home around 1am tossed them into bed and let them sleep in until the last second possible , quickly dressed and gave them some ready unhealthy breakfast bar in the car- no issue as one off. This meant they still had stage make up on and that stuff stays on! When my child came home that day their face was severely grazed and bloody. They said their teacher spent ages trying to scrub their face with (extremely cheap as shit and obviously sandpaper like) hand towel. No report, no child safeguarding there and not even an explanation to parents, they are above that!

Also had another child with selective mutism who was strangled and passed out, taken to sick bay etc. They obviously thought child would not communicate event to us so free pass for them but didn’t consider that other kids who saw would tell their parents who would contact us to make sure our child was okay - big news to us. Happens on school/teachers watch but no report, no safeguarding, again schools are above all that.

Should anything happen at home though, different matter, it’s all extremely one sided with them having no obligation to keep kids safe or indulge in reporting of their own shortcomings. I was a mandatory reporter myself so understand the issues and processes but we actually fulfilled duty of care to kids in our care. Christ I’m glad school years are well behind us.

Happens on school/teachers watch but no report, no safeguarding, again schools are above all that.

True that

We have to record any and all safeguarding concerns, injuries included. It doesn't mean there will be follow up, we just have to keep a record so we can see any patterns developing.

The school was right.
You know it’s innocent. You know it’s nothing to worry about but the school don’t. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. The nicest, friendliest people can be abusers.
It’s much better that there is a small note in CPOMS than an abused child goes unnoticed for years because their parents are always nice on the playground.

Any teacher would sooner piss you off than miss helping an abused child.

@JuergenSchwarzwald it’s not going to be an hour long chat, just an ‘oh dear’ type comment

There are circumstances where you won't be told - or at least you shouldn't, and those are that if telling you would lead to an increased risk or immediate danger to the child.

I’d be having a word with my child about fibbing to be honest

If anything happens at school it should also be reported, that is the fault of that particular school not all schools

I had a phone call to say my 5 year old had a cut and bruise on her head and that she'd claimed her younger brother had hit her with a toy at home. I knew he hadn't as I wfh and my parents take our children to school, when she left the house there was no injury, my parents said the same. I said to school OK but I'm sure that isn't true. When she got home she had a cut to her head and her nose was grazed, swelled and badly bruised, she looked like she'd been in a fight. I was shocked that the teacher didn't notice she hadn't arrived like that. I eventually got out of our daughter that she'd been climbing on a table that afternoon, in another room so no one watching, had slipped and landed on her face. She didn't want to tell them what she'd done as she didn't want to get into trouble so invented a story. Imagine if she'd said one of us had done it!!! I got the truth out of her and messaged the teacher, to be honest I was annoyed they hadn't noticed she had no injury all day but then suddenly noticed it late afternoon? I think children should be believed and obviously school have a responsibility with safeguarding but I think sometimes common sense goes out the window. Our daughters injury was clearly not a toy to the face, she had grazes and bruising like she'd fallen flat on her face, shed had from a height!!

I'd try not to worry, however like I did I would probably clarify exactly what happened and that you aren't happy with what has been said.

Happens on school/teachers watch but no report, no safeguarding, again schools are above all that.

That's just not true.

Posts like this annoy me so much.

Yes it's an overreaction to you because nothing untoward went on.

Its not an overreaction for them to record things like this though, for all they know the kid could be downplaying something and they could actually be getting abused.

I for one would like to know the teachers are being responsible.

@JuergenSchwarzwald

If I notice an injury on a child and the parent hadn't mentioned it to me at drop off, I'm going to be asking that child about it. Do you think I should ignore it

a plaster isn't an "injury"! For goodness sake you can get a paper cut and need a plaster.

Totally different from a suspicious pattern of bruising.

Common sense needs to prevail here, otherwise teachers will be wasting time on stuff that takes them away from the important things.

Exactly.

Happens on school/teachers watch but no report, no safeguarding, again schools are above all that.

Yep, lots of unexplained injuries happen in schools, and they sure don't all get a formal record.
Have had my share of chats with teaching staff looking like they were in full ass-covering mode after minor but significant (near miss, e.g. scratch to face very near an eye) school "incidents", where the story consistently reported by my child happened to be very different from (and rather more credible than) official records (when such records even existed)
I've also seen them temporarily "lose" kids on school trips. But all is well than ends well, eh?

It's perfectly correct to report. They are doing what they should be doing.

I'm surprised that they told you. If a parent was actually abusive then telling them they have reported an incident could lead to a range of very bad outcomes for the child.

A plaster could be hiding a cigarette burn, a larger plaster could be hiding many different sorts of injuries

They haven't overcreacted at all. But you and your dh have.

Of course if a child says that they need to raise it!

I have to say it does sound over the top, unless the OP hasn't told us that it's the tenth such incident this year.

Without keeping a record then the fact it is the tenth one could be missed. That’s the point - so that when it is the tenth one someone knows that.

@JuergenSchwarzwald

If I notice an injury on a child and the parent hadn't mentioned it to me at drop off, I'm going to be asking that child about it. Do you think I should ignore it

a plaster isn't an "injury"! For goodness sake you can get a paper cut and need a plaster.

Totally different from a suspicious pattern of bruising.

Common sense needs to prevail here, otherwise teachers will be wasting time on stuff that takes them away from the important things.

Child says "I cut myself on a piece of paper", mum says the same when asked at pick-up, it's not a regular occurence: job done.

Child has plasters every week, or mum's story different to child's, or child seems hesitant about answering: perhaps the plaster is actually covering something different.
Not all abuse is bruises.

They have to log everything, it doesn’t mean it’s on any formal record. My son burnt his finger on the toaster and it was logged.

It’s purely so that if there’s a pattern it’s more obvious to spot. It won’t show on an dbs checks and I can guarantee things have been logged before but you aren’t aware

Whilst you feel alarmed, and concerned for the repercussions of what was an innocent incident, this is a good thing given the amount of abuse that goes unnoticed in this country.

It doesn't mean that the teachers are all slagging your family off in the break room, but it does mean that injuries and signs of injury are being looked at and taken seriously.

You're unlikely to hear anything more of it.

I say this as a mother of a very accident prone teen! I remember keeping all of her injury forms from school; just incase something ever cropped up.

And even when it's innocent, kids do tell the story in a way that makes it sound terrible. When DD was 9 I convinced her to go on a zip line thing. I thought if she was brave she would really enjoy herself and it would be an exercise of sometimes things that seem scary end up being fun...let's take a chance sort of thing.

As it started to move, she let go!!

She hurt herself. Her elbow bled, its left a scar. She is still adamant I did it to her. She still tells the story. I always laugh and say, now can we have some proper details, like how it actually happened and the cake I bought you after please!!

Bit like the dirty jumper analogy. Child normally comes into school with clean clothes, then comes in with stained jumper couple of days on the trot. Teacher chats with child. Scenario A: ‘Oh miss you won’t believe it, it was so exciting, the washing machine blew up at the weekend, flames and everything! We can’t get a new one until next week. I’ve offered to keep the sane pants on all week to help but mum says no!’ You offer sympathy to parent at pick up and they confirm story.
Scenario B: ‘Oh miss you won’t believe it, dad got really angry at the weekend and smashed up the washing machine and went to hit mum’
Both scenarios put on school safeguarding system. Scenario B additional action also taken

We (secondary school) have to report changes in behaviour/sleep/attitude/clothing/bruises and cuts as something small could be the thing that actually identifies a bigger concern.

We have a state where consents are logged and filed or reported on to a authoritative body of required. We always call home unless there is a safety reason we can't or there is a wider known concern that could put the child at risk.

You should be glad your child's school takes safeguarding seriously. It's routine, and nothing for you to worry about.

We can't live in a country where everybody complains when innocent things are checked up on (not interrogated) but every abuser is caught and every abused child is saved. The two are not mutually exclusive.

It's very easy to say well " X is clearly not abuse let's apply common sense." People who say that I do not believe have been around abusers. Cigarette burns and black eyes aren't the only signs to be vigilant for.

Please do not worry.
It does seem like an overreaction but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

These incidents are logged to create a bigger picture.

Kids that are often getting abused don’t come in covered in bruises and saying their parents hurt them - it’s small incidents that can easily go unnoticed but actually if you add them all up it starts becoming more clear.