To ask would you be happy in a relationship only ever having sex whilst actively TTC?

[FrustratedTeddyLamp]

Im just interested in seeing the answers due to another thread where there are lots of posters saying if men don't want children they shouldn't have sex. I don't really want to get into that on this thread I'm just trying to be completely open about the context of the question.

I'm just interested how many other posters would be happy with this solution? Would you be happy to be in a relationship when you both only have sex when wanting a child? So not just for fun or waiting 8 years after your wedding night if you get married at 22 but don't want kids until your 30s

Of course not, but thank god for reliable contraception. More men should be more careful with it.

I'd be happy with it but only while using contraception that I was in control of.

I say this as someone who commented on the other thread that the only way a man can exercise his right to not have a baby is to not have sex. If I was a man, I'd be using condoms and accepting the fact that it could fail, or I'd refrain completely.

I used condoms.
That sufficed.
But my partner would have stood by me and discussed our options like adults. Whatever we chose.

I don't think it's meant in the literal sense OP.

I think it means that men should take more responsibility than they do in terms of contraception and be aware that - worse case - sex can lead to unplanned parenthood. Not that they literally should not have sex unless TTC.

No, not at all

No, but we manage to not have a baby by using contraception

No

I wasn't really after any contraception talk as that negates the whole only having it when actively TTC. Just a straight option of would you be willing to only have sex when TTC no other times, so for example those that are childless by choice would die never having had sex

@FrustratedTeddyLamp

I wasn't really after any contraception talk as that negates the whole only having it when actively TTC. Just a straight option of would you be willing to only have sex when TTC no other times, so for example those that are childless by choice would die never having had sex

But you're misrepresenting the point made on that other thread. There is absolutely no need to only have sex to TTC because contraception exists. So no, if my partner only wanted sex when TTC I wouldn't be with him. But contraception exists, so no need for this.

I didn't have sex until I was with a man who was prepared to accept responsibility for any child we might have.

Also, you are talking about penetrative sex.
Could I live with a good amount of foreplay and clit stimulation?

Yes I think I could.
(As do many non straight happy unions)

But I don't feel I am. If a Man uses protection but doesn't want child he's still an idiot for having had sex as Contraception isn't 100% effective.

And there are countless replies just saying he shouldn't have sex. But like I say I just wanted to hear how many other posters would be happy with that alternative.

I wouldn’t have sex only to have a baby

Contraception means that a baby isn’t just the natural consequence of sex now so your question isn’t relevant

@WorriedMumsDontSleep

Also, you are talking about penetrative sex. Could I live with a good amount of foreplay and clit stimulation?

Yes I think I could.
(As do many non straight happy unions)

I would say penetrative sex yes I get this is a narrow minded question that pretty much excludes non hetero sex. And to that end I'm not sure about foreplay and clit stimulation as feel like that would be a loophole so instinctively I'd like to close it haha as most women need some clit stimulation to orgasm not just penetrative sex. But I also feel like they're part of sex as a hole also and whilst done on their own are often part of the larger experience of penetrative sex.

It's not a literal statement. It's about taking responsibility for consequences. If a man does not ever want to have children then he has to accept that PIV sex is a problem. No contraception other than sterilisation can 100% guarantee that pregnancy will not occur. Men can't expect to have have PIV sex and then walk away from the consequences.

@Shoxfordian

I wouldn’t have sex only to have a baby

Contraception means that a baby isn’t just the natural consequence of sex now so your question isn’t relevant

Not really because contraception fails.

We know abstinance sex ed doesn't work already so we're basically in a semi alternate world so let's also pretend contraception isn't an option

I wouldn’t live like that. I don’t want kids, so I use contraception.

You have misunderstood what people on the other thread are saying tho. The “abstain” option is for those who are so against having kids that they wouldn’t even be willing to pay the (pittance) required by the CSA.

I think you’re taking the idea to a literal and bizarre conclusion. All people are saying is that if you are having sex, pregnancy is a possibility.

I'm childfree by choice and I use condoms and contraceptive pill with partners. If I got pregnant I'd expect them to respect my choice of having an abortion or having a baby.

Yes I would. But I don’t really like sex.

Is this just a philosophical question then op? A world with no clitoral stimulation or contraception is not one I’d want to live in

Well I don't plan on making an alternative world that enforces it! Although for almost half the world it seems like they already live in a reality where the clitoris is a myth.

So would I have sex I wouldn't get an orgasm out of if I didn't want to conceive.

I guess not.
What would be the point?

A world with no clitoral stimulation or contraception is not one I’d want to live in

Same!

In this weird world, are people aware that sex is fun and pleasurable?

Not half the world op although I see why frustrated is part of your username now