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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner refusing booster so can’t go on holiday?

106 replies

KerkyraBlue · 23/02/2022 14:02

My partner has been double jabbed but is refusing the booster for reasons I am not totally clear on…is very cross at Pfizer /Moderna, money makers, don’t want a heart attack etc.

We are supposed to be going to the Netherlands in April for a short break with our son. As far as I understand, Netherlands require UK visitors to be fully vaccinated including the booster. He won’t have it even if that means we can’t go away. I am blooming fuming. This trip has been arranged for ages and already been rearranged once.

I could go with my son anyway but I am still really annoyed at my other half for potentially ruining a holiday for some belief about Pfizer and Moderna that most of the population do not share.

Is it just me or would you be annoyed too?

OP posts:
bellac11 · 23/02/2022 18:20

I would be annoyed at the requirements for people to have a booster and go somewhere else.

OneSwallow · 23/02/2022 18:30

I thought it was three vaccines or negative PCR

RealBecca · 23/02/2022 18:31

Go.

And tell him not to take any other money making medication.

ilovesooty · 23/02/2022 18:32

Whatever his reasons he's made his choice. Just leave him at home and enjoy your holiday without him.

RealBecca · 23/02/2022 18:47

The trouble is people dont see the benefits of the jab and rely on anecdata. Saying there is no benefit to jabs is mind blowing. Yes you might have the jab and catch it. Bit you'll never know whether you would have ended up on a ventilator. And a lot of young healthy people may be less likely to refuse the jab when they are in their sixties or 70s or start seeing themselves as frail

lockdownalli · 23/02/2022 18:53

Agree with PP - just go without him. Don't keep talking about it, just leave it and go as scheduled with DC. Have a lovely time.

I would be inclined to book another trip somewhere I know DP really wants to go (but would require booster) but I'm a mardy bitch Grin

He sounds infuriating.

KerkyraBlue · 23/02/2022 19:17

Thanks everyone, I have enjoyed reading through these comments and appreciate you taking the time to post. Just to add context, he had AZ for the first 2 jabs but we can’t get that as a booster here unless there are medical reasons. In the last few months he’s become really paranoid about Pfizer and Moderna. Not sure why. We sadly lost a friend unexpectedly with suspected heart attack or blood clot and DP went off on one about it being due to the vaccine. Honestly he’s normally a lovely bloke but has a tendency to fixate on things every so often…..
It’s not the fact he won’t have a booster I’m bothered about- as some of you have said, his body, his decision. It’s the fact it’s impacting so much on our family plans.
Anyway, I have decided me and my boy who is 9 are going ourselves and we will have a great time and send him lots of photos of us having fun on rollercoasters (we are going to Efteling theme park) while he stays at home 😉

OP posts:
RishiRich · 23/02/2022 19:19

Oh I love Efteling! Have a fantastic time Smile We're going in June - can't wait!

CharlotteRose90 · 23/02/2022 19:33

Have a fab time just you 2. I’m in the same camp as your partner having been told that my side effects that I’ve had since last year have been from the vaccine I had. Had it confirmed by my cardiologist so no chance am I having another vaccine. They aren’t safe for everyone so I don’t blame him for having doubts.

ChateauMargaux · 23/02/2022 19:48

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WindyState · 23/02/2022 19:51

"there is no medical benefit to having a booster"

Patently not true. At all.

caringcarer · 23/02/2022 19:58

I would make it clear me and any children would still be going. I would lose respect for a stupid man like this. Point out to him half the world is still waiting for vaccines.

ilovesooty · 23/02/2022 20:16

Have a lovely time!

BringBackThinEyebrows · 23/02/2022 20:40

As far as I understand, Netherlands require UK visitors to be fully vaccinated including the booster.

That's incorrect. Your partner is "fully vaccinated" (2 doses of an approved vaccine), so is able to join you on holiday in the Netherlands under current guidance.

PAFMO · 24/02/2022 05:50
They've been discussing the small risk of myocarditis happening temporarily and mainly in teenage boys since the vaccines were launched, yes. Along with the fact that myocarditis happens spontaneously in the general population at much higher levels, and is much much more likely after a Covid infection, even a relatively mild one.
PAFMO · 24/02/2022 05:54

The link from @JamieNorthlife is helpful though and should quash any fears about myocarditis as it contains the information I posted above. Myocarditis is thought to be present in 12% of sudden deaths of men under the age of 40 (not connected in any way to Covid, just general sudden death) and in the US where almost 300,000,000 doses of Covid vaccine have been administered, there have been 1226 reported cases of myocarditis.

So, thanks for linking Smile that will help people who believe the anti-vax conspiracy theories about the vaccine and myocarditis

AlternativePerspective · 24/02/2022 06:03

I’d leave him…. Full stop.

His body his choice and all that but his choice means that I too would have the right to my own choices, i.e. not to want to stay with such an idiot.

There has been a discussion along the lines of miocarditis, but miocarditis is far more common after a general infection.

The fact is that every, single, vaccination, medication, treatment, has potential side effects. Go and read the side effects on a box of paracetamol, or even a cough mixture bottle. Those side effects shown as rare are still there because they have happened to someone.

Do we sit and sympathise with someone who refuses to take a paracetamol for a headache because “what if serious liver damage? I’ve read it on the box that….”? Nope. Because we know the possibility is rare.

And so is the possibility of serious side effects rare with the vaccine. Except that the media, and conspiracy theorists are loving hyping all this up because so many vaccines have been issued at the same time that any side effects are thought of to be more common when they’re not.

I find it amstonishing that the same people who say things like “covid is nothing more than a cold, the majority have no effects,” are the same people who say “vaccines are damaging because of the effects,” when actually, the likelyhood of after effects from COVID is significantly higher than those of the vaccine, but still covid is seen as the lesser risk.

Heart failure patient here, and have had miocarditis after contracting the flu 5 years ago.

Interestingly I saw my cardiologist last week, and he asked very pointedly if I’d been triple jabbed. I suspect he would have taken a very dim view if I’d said no.

BuyDirt · 24/02/2022 06:04

When did he have his first vaccination. My friend travelled to the Netherlands without the booster as she had had her first vaccination less than 9 months before. After 9 months you need the booster.

I wouldn’t be annoyed, as long as he isn’t trying to make you not go on the trip.

Whattochoosenow · 24/02/2022 06:19

When I officially reported my vaccine reactions, which every member of the public is free to do however mild, one of the questions that came up is ‘are you reporting a case of myocarditis?’. The risk is known to be greater among males in their 20s.
Your DH is ok to travel to the Netherlands on 2 vaccines as long as it is within 270 days of his last vaccine.

Neenawneenaw76 · 24/02/2022 06:20

I'm not sure I'd be annoyed, it's his choice whether or not to have it and if he's not comfortable for any reason so be it. I wouldn't cancel my holiday though, I'd go without him 🤷

Darbs76 · 24/02/2022 06:22

Yes I absolutely would be furious. I’d be going regardless and having a think about the whole relationship. I’m all for people standing up for the believes but given he’s already had 2 vaccines he’s clearly not completely against it

Whattochoosenow · 24/02/2022 06:23

I can’t believe people are suggesting OP leaves her DH on this. It is his body, his right to choose!

If he can’t go, then fine, she should go without him but there are plenty of places to go in future on 2 jabs and as covid gradually fades those requirements are likely to be lifted.

CallMeDaddy58 · 24/02/2022 06:52

@girlmom21

Why should the Op compromise when her DH is an arse? He's made his choice!

Because they're a couple and couples compromise.

If he'd refused to go because he'd seen their terrorist threat level was higher than he thought or because they had high covid cases and he was worried would he be an arse then?

He believes he's protecting himself by not getting the jab. That doesn't make him an arse.

FWIW I've had the booster so im not arguing his case because I agree with him - I don't.

So he’s so worried about the vaccine (that he’s already had 2 times) and he’s just “protecting himself” but doesn’t give enough of a shit about his beloved wife and child to try and convince them not to get vaccinated?

If my husband started wearing a tinfoil hat because he believed he needed to protect himself from the government trying to control his mind is that cool too? Or are we allowed to accept that sometimes differences of opinion are a bit more than that. That it’s normal to lose respect for someone when their opinion is formed from Facebook conspiracy theories and not actually medical risk?

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/02/2022 06:53

I’d be annoyed too because he’s making no sense.
Go with your son and enjoy.

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