AIBU to be annoyed at evening flight before school?

[TheCeiling]

So DDs dad is taking our 5 year on a little holiday abroad to Portugal. Found out he has booked the return flight so that she will get home for approx 9.30pm, with school the next day. There were earlier flights available. AIBU to be annoyed by this?

@Sweetdealer

This wouldn’t bother me. I’d just let her have the next day off school. Pick your battles. It’s a bit thoughtless but not the end of the world

Unless OP will have to take time off work to do this

It isnt that late..... Don't most people book late flights to get an extra day of holiday?? We always do, the kids havent spontaneously combusted as a result of having the odd late night. Yours probably won't either.

I'd be a bit annoyed but I'd prob just say gently to him that if he's booking a flight next time would he mind booking earlier in day if poss

Really it will be too late to handover the child to you. I'd just say no problem, please take her to school the next day or let her have a day off, whichever, and bring her back to mine at the end of the day if she is off school. Nothing more to it.

If he's prepared to have the next day while she unwinds, I don't see the problem. Unless he's not and expects you to deal with it. That's unfair. Do you have a job?

@LannieDuck

Yes, I'd be annoyed. Of course you'll cope and she'll cope, but she shouldn't have to 'cope'. Her parent should be thinking about what works best for her, not for him.

It probably does work best for her. She gets to make the most of her little trip. And she can snooze in the car.

It's really not a big deal. The occasional event like this is what helps kids become adaptable.

We've done it before but I would avoid if there were an earlier option

I couldn't let myself get too worked up but would be clear it's his responsibility to keep her that night and get her to school on time next morning. If any delays or she doesn't go school, also his responsibility to look after her for the day!

@AllOfUsAreDead

Really it will be too late to handover the child to you. I'd just say no problem, please take her to school the next day or let her have a day off, whichever, and bring her back to mine at the end of the day if she is off school. Nothing more to it.

This. I wouldn’t be impressed if he turned up late at night with a very tired and grouchy child however if he was happy to sort that and also getting her to school the following morning then no complaints from me at all.

I would expect him to keep her overnight after the flight and to take her into school the next day. Not fair to the OP to have to deal with any fall out.

@TheCeiling

A good mix of for/against here! The flights weren't any cheaper. Tbh I would've taken the earlier flight and given her the chance to unwind. He visits his gf there every other week so it isn't a holiday he has saved up for particularly.

You're reading it wrong if you think there's a 'good mix'. Most people are strongly saying YABU and it's fine.

I wouldn’t book a late flight myself, but I don’t think it’s a disaster. Being a bit tired for a day in reception/year 1 isn’t going to be a big issue.

Around that age my DC went to bed at 8pm. Except on holiday, weddings, parties or days out a distance away. Sometimes they were tired if they had school the next day but they adapted well. Sometimes they’d sleep on the journey or just have a power nap or an early night the next day. Autistic DS15 likes routine but loved these occasions and his favourite memories are being woken in the early hours to travel to the airport. There are times it’s good to break with routine, being flexible in order to have fun is worth a bit of tiredness.

One late night and being a bit tired one day isn’t the end of the world. My dds did shows that didn’t finish until 10pm on school night at that age. It was fine.

I’m sure he was just trying to make the most of their time there.

It sounds like you may have a bit of an issue with your dd going at all and the late night is the thing you’ve chosen to make unreasonable.

It's a one off, no big deal. Just keep her home if she's really tired.

@TillyTopper and if the OP works?

It personally wouldn't bother me. It's a one off and she's 5. There's more to lose then making a big deal out of it and causing an argument then her being a bit overtired or missing a morning of school (at that age anyway!)

One time when I was 5, I went to bed at 10pm on a school night and I haven't been the same since.

Or: people looking for stupid petty reasons to hate on their exes parenting skills.

Meh. She's 5. No biggie.

I think it's a total non issue. It's a late night, she'll be fine.
I'd be really concerned if one late night was enough for my child to be a complete mess and unable to cope the next day. What do you do on holidays or special occasions. So much rigidness and lack of flexibility.

@TillyTopper and if the OP works?
Kid goes to school.
She might be a bit grumpy but shes not going to die of yawning for one day.
IME, they usually spark up once they are with their friends.

The worst that will happen, is she'll be a bit tired the next day. She's 5, it won't affect her life!

I'd not be too fussed unless it was a flight with Ryanair.

I think it's fine. She'll still probably get around 9 hours sleep and she may sleep on the plane

I wouldn’t do it. Seems unfair to a child. I hope he is at least the one taking her to school the next day!

Not ideal, but not worth falling out over. Pick your battles