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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at evening flight before school?

100 replies

TheCeiling · 23/02/2022 07:23

So DDs dad is taking our 5 year on a little holiday abroad to Portugal. Found out he has booked the return flight so that she will get home for approx 9.30pm, with school the next day. There were earlier flights available. AIBU to be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
xxxsuper · 23/02/2022 09:02

I would not have any issue with this at all. Only one of my kids ever was asleep before 9:30pm though, so it would fall into the realms of 'normal' here.

Nemosaurus · 23/02/2022 09:04

Later flight means more time in Portugal. More holiday. It’s one day, not a huge deal.

Gonnagetgoing · 23/02/2022 09:09

I agree with @Nemosaurus meaning it's more time in Portugal. I'd suggest he has her overnight Sunday and drops to school next day or she stays off an extra day.

It's nice he wants to spend more time with her and she can sleep on the plane etc so for a one off it's a non issue.

Divebar2021 · 23/02/2022 09:11

One late night isn’t going to make much difference… I don’t even know how much later this is to normal. 2 hours? There’s no need to catastrophise every thing that’s less than ideal.

Enko · 23/02/2022 09:11

Just say to him. Next time could you please book an earlier flight home. You know like communicate with each other about whats best for your daughter. No need for blame

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 23/02/2022 09:13

No problem - she could go to school from his the next day so that he deals with any tiredness. He might consider an earlier flight next time!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 23/02/2022 09:14

Wouldn't bother me at all, I've never understood these rigid bedtimes. There was another thread recently where 10 year olds were sent to bed at 7.30pm Shock.

I understand if a child is tired or particularly needs that sort of routine, but you need to shake it up occasionally for holidays/parties/something exciting on TV etc.

FindmeuptheFarawaytree · 23/02/2022 09:16

Another one who thinks it's fine, she'll probably drop off on the journey at some point anyway. I would absolutely do this with my own child if it made a holiday more affordable and was just a one off.

Sweetdealer · 23/02/2022 09:18

This wouldn’t bother me. I’d just let her have the next day off school. Pick your battles. It’s a bit thoughtless but not the end of the world

Krakenchorus · 23/02/2022 09:20

Whatever. It's one night, and worse case is she'll be a bit cranky and tired for a single day at school.

If he takes her over often, have a polite chat about earlier flights.

SugarAndCoffee · 23/02/2022 09:20

Has she met his girlfriend before? If not try and think of it positively, she's meeting someone who could become very important in her life.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 23/02/2022 09:20

I think the vest way to deal with it is to tell ex he’ll be taking DD to school on Monday as PP said

Soul11Soul · 23/02/2022 09:22

It's not a big deal. Please don't make it one, for your daughter's sake.

Heyahun · 23/02/2022 09:23

its a one off! I'm bringing my daughter on a 10pm flight on friday (there is earlier availble but this one was much cheaper and I have work that day so can't go in the morning time (which was the only other affordable one!)

It's a one off - i know she will be in terrible form but just accepting that

can her dad keep her that night and deal with getting the grumpy child up for school haha

SpiderVersed · 23/02/2022 09:27

She’s 6, she won’t exactly be missing an A-level lesson if she’s a bit tired at school.

It’s a one off, it’s a holiday and you’re only really annoyed because it’s your ex doing it. I’d let it go.

In co-parenting, it’s wise to pick your battles.

TheBareTree · 23/02/2022 09:28

It’s fine. She’s 5, it’s one day. My 5 year old couldn’t sleep until 11 the other night because of the noise of the storm. They were fine the next day.

PatriciaHolm · 23/02/2022 09:29

@Hollyhead

Meh it’s a one off, we get back from our holiday in May half term at 4am, the DC are going to be in school for 9am 🤣 it’s just one day.
We did that many years ago ;-) DD was fine, DS fell asleep in school's Wendy house ;-) they weren't bothered at all!
girlmom21 · 23/02/2022 09:29

If it's a short break - which it will be if ge goes every other week - they'd lose a whole day coming back earlier. He's probably also thought making sure she eats at a suitable time before the flight so she doesn't come home hungry. It'll be fine.

Quartz2208 · 23/02/2022 09:32

@Hollyhead

Meh it’s a one off, we get back from our holiday in May half term at 4am, the DC are going to be in school for 9am 🤣 it’s just one day.
We have had this. It was a delayed flight (over 4 hours and error so got compensation so was actively sitting there wanting it to be over 4 hours after it passed a certain point). Landed in the end at 4 - home by 5:30 (the airport was so quiet at that time) slept for 2 hrs and up and in for Sports Day.

Just back from Florida overnight flight landed Sunday morning back in Monday. Yes they are tired but they adapt and recover

Facewipes · 23/02/2022 09:34

If we were all going away as a family and coming home together at 9.30 I wouldn’t think it’s ideal, but not much of an issue as a one off for a holiday. But if she’d been away from me, I imagine she’d want to stay up to see me when she got home and it would be a very late night so it’s just not great planning and if could avoid I would.

Mariposista · 23/02/2022 09:38

Very unreasonable. They will want to make the most of their last day!

toomuchlaundry · 23/02/2022 09:41

Who is responsible for the next day at school.

I assume it is SAHP saying just have the day off school! Not always that easy for working parents

I pity teachers who have to cope with overtired children who have just got back from holiday

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/02/2022 09:43

If she’s home at 9.30 she can still have at least 10 hours sleep.

notacooldad · 23/02/2022 09:54

To be honest I would always take the later flight when mine were that age to get extra time away.
Sometimes they maybe tired the next morning but I remember DS being about 5 saying that his body was weird because it reset itself! He meant he was tired when he woke up but soon got going and was fine.

starfishmummy · 23/02/2022 09:56

She will be fine

I knew before your second post that he would be an ex, I suspect your annoyance is because of that