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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at evening flight before school?

100 replies

TheCeiling · 23/02/2022 07:23

So DDs dad is taking our 5 year on a little holiday abroad to Portugal. Found out he has booked the return flight so that she will get home for approx 9.30pm, with school the next day. There were earlier flights available. AIBU to be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
SugarAndCoffee · 23/02/2022 08:07

If he does it every other week then its worth asking him to get an earlier flight back if she's going to be regularly going. If it's an occasional thing then leave it and let him take her to school the next day.

SugarAndCoffee · 23/02/2022 08:08

@OhWhyNot

Its fine either keep her off if you can

She will probably want to go in and tell her friends about her holiday and coming home so late which is exciting (even if they are grumpy)

Why should OP keep her off? Dad can take the day off work if it causes a problem
saraclara · 23/02/2022 08:10

@TheCeiling

A good mix of for/against here! The flights weren't any cheaper. Tbh I would've taken the earlier flight and given her the chance to unwind. He visits his gf there every other week so it isn't a holiday he has saved up for particularly.
Not much of a mix! Far now saying it's not an issue! He wants to make the most of hey last day. I airways do the same with a short trip. Otherwise by the time you've had breakfast you're just focusing on getting to the airport. She'll nap in the car. It be fine.
saraclara · 23/02/2022 08:11

Far more

OhWhyNot · 23/02/2022 08:12

I don’t know what there set up is

Lalliella · 23/02/2022 08:19

You sound like you’re looking for things to pick an argument with your ex about. It’s a one-off. Chill.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 23/02/2022 08:19

I think you're overreacting - 9.30 as a one off is not too bad.
But we don't know anything about your relationship with your ex.

Lemons1571 · 23/02/2022 08:20

I disagree with most of these replies. The dad has booked a later flight which will result in an overtired child with school starting in 11 hours from arriving home. Yet it’s suggested that it is the OP that has to deal with the fallout - taking child in late, taking a day off so child can have a day off to recover, juggling the resultant overtired child and basically taking on the mental load which is not hers to take on.

I would tell your ex that he deals with the Sunday night : Monday morning, and you’ll see her after school on the Monday.

RegardingMary · 23/02/2022 08:21

It wouldn't bother me. But that's because I'd make it clear he could keep her at his the next day, either send her to school or keep her off. But I wouldnt get involved.

SugarAndCoffee · 23/02/2022 08:23

@Lemons1571 I agree it's ridiculous all the people suggesting OP just has to deal with the repercussions. He is perfectly capable of dealing with it presumably. And it might make him think for the next time he takes her to see his gf.

whysoserious123 · 23/02/2022 08:24

@Hollyhead

Meh it’s a one off, we get back from our holiday in May half term at 4am, the DC are going to be in school for 9am 🤣 it’s just one day.
🤣
LookItsMeAgain · 23/02/2022 08:32

When you say get home for 9:30pm, do you mean that they would be landing at that time, have collected their luggage and be heading to their car at that time or pulling into their driveway at that time?

Depending on how much of a journey there is between the airport and 'home', I'd not worry about it too much as a once off.

LannieDuck · 23/02/2022 08:38

Yes, I'd be annoyed. Of course you'll cope and she'll cope, but she shouldn't have to 'cope'. Her parent should be thinking about what works best for her, not for him.

lioncitygirl · 23/02/2022 08:39

If one off - fine. If he’s doing it every week - he’s a jackass. She’s will just be a little retired the next day. Not a hill worth dying on imo.

purpleboy · 23/02/2022 08:42

@LannieDuck

Yes, I'd be annoyed. Of course you'll cope and she'll cope, but she shouldn't have to 'cope'. Her parent should be thinking about what works best for her, not for him.
Was going to say the same thing, it's just parents making selfish decisions, which will negatively impact the child for no good reason.
GAHgamel · 23/02/2022 08:43

It's not the worst thing in the world, but has potential to go pear-shaped very easily. I'd agree with the suggestion that he be responsible for getting her up and out to school on time and with all the appropriate equipment the following morning.

dizzydizzydizzy · 23/02/2022 08:44

YABU. It's a holiday. It's just the once.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 23/02/2022 08:49

I'd do the same as him (and have done before), make the most out of the holiday and the final day. I don't think he's being selfish. I would expect him to look after her that night and take her to school though.

Hoppinggreen · 23/02/2022 08:49

It’s not a huge deal as long as he is the one taking her or not taking her to school next day and dealing with any resulting fall out.
If he just expects to drop her off at 9.30 (assuming no delays) and leave the rest up to you then he is being an arse

BearOfEasttown · 23/02/2022 08:51

YABU. It's one time.

Newgirls · 23/02/2022 08:52

There aren’t as many flights for sale at the moment. I’d be ok with it. Can’t he take her to school the next day?

RandomQuest · 23/02/2022 08:52

My 4YO got home from a skiing holiday at 10.30pm on Sunday, went to school Monday morning and was fine albeit a bit more tired than usual at home time. It’s one day of reception (or year 1?) where she might be a bit tired, not the day of a GCSE exam. It’s really not a big deal.

cookiemonster2468 · 23/02/2022 08:53

@Lemons1571

I disagree with most of these replies. The dad has booked a later flight which will result in an overtired child with school starting in 11 hours from arriving home. Yet it’s suggested that it is the OP that has to deal with the fallout - taking child in late, taking a day off so child can have a day off to recover, juggling the resultant overtired child and basically taking on the mental load which is not hers to take on.

I would tell your ex that he deals with the Sunday night : Monday morning, and you’ll see her after school on the Monday.

This.

I think it's too late and wouldn't be happy if he is expecting you to deal with the night/ next morning, as she'll be out of routine and probably over tired.

Pick her up from school Monday afternoon.

Ohmybod · 23/02/2022 08:53

@TheCeiling

A good mix of for/against here! The flights weren't any cheaper. Tbh I would've taken the earlier flight and given her the chance to unwind. He visits his gf there every other week so it isn't a holiday he has saved up for particularly.
How do you know there were other times and they were all same price? Did you go look it up online? Bit obsessive if you did.

Just leave him to do his parenting on his terms. If it seriously impacts you and DD this time have a word about future trips, but as a one off I could just not get worked up by this.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 23/02/2022 08:58

I wouldn't book a flight this late - as a pp said what about if it's delayed?

I don't even book to come back the day before work - I always have a buffer day inbetween unless it's a weekend away.

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