I know you are family in blood but my children don't know you

[hdjdjehhdhdvsv]

This is incredibly specific but I am posting on the I telnet because I can't get unbiased views in real life.
I am not including back story to keep it to the facts.

nearly 8 years ago me and DH decided to cut contact with mil, this meant we were basically no contact with the entire family.

DH started contact about a year, maybe 2 ago. Calls, texts, a few in person visits and then we introduced the children, who had been born after we stopped seeing them (well eldest was a toddler, he has some memory of mil only) they met maybe 3 months ago, Possibly 4? It was before Christmas 2021 so not long at all.

Mil had been saying to the children that she wants to take them out, to hers, baby sit, sleep overs, pick them up from school yada yada, if I will let her.

She is a stranger and is coming on very strong. I realise she is probably excited and everything but I have known my husband for 10 years and haven't had contact with her for 8 of those. I don't really know her or the family but what I do know is BAD. I wouldn't have seen them every again but it's not just my choice.

I just hate her saying 'I'll pick you up from school on Friday, child I have never met before'. And then I have to say to them she can't because I know its daddies mummy but we don't know her and you have only met her today.

Seen her a few times now in person and she is becoming more persistent, speaking through the children, to me not to DH. I am not confrontational she is though so I don't know how to hold myself. I also don't thunk it's right to tell a child you have just met (and one you haven't seen since they were 2) that you will be picking them up from school and having sleep overs.

you aren't "nanny" or "granny" after an hour. I don't know how to handle this, how can you handle it?

DH isn't much help in the moment and ignores as it is directed at me. I have just been ignoring and busying myself with baby or answering phantom texts. not cool but I'm a big baby. what should I say to not cause an argument but get across the fact she is still a stranger to my children at this point.

OP I’m also NC with my mother. In turn the rest of the family don’t speak to me either. I wouldn’t say they’ve fallen out with me but they took her side in such that I have never been invited to anything, no one calls, visits, sends birthday cards etc. I imagine that if I got back in touch with my mother they’d all come back into my life too.
That really hurt for a while but then I realised that they obviously think nothing of me so why would I want them around. Bitter pills have to be swallowed sometimes. It’s crap but that’s life.

Like your DH I am categorically not in the wrong and never have been. Without graphic details I don’t think a living soul would consider me party to the fall out. My removal from her was the only thing I could do to give myself a chance at sanity & a normal life. Still, they took her side.

I think DH needs to find a way to accept that she doesn’t love him the way he wants. None of them do and in going back to them he is pouring salt on his own wounds. I feel for him & totally understand but he has to find the strength to put you all first.