My DS age 5.5 cries at all movies

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So I thought I'd take DS to see Sing 2 and I should have know better as he was hysterical through Paddington 2 a few weeks ago. He basically can't take ANY action/ adventure or emotional scenes as he gets worried and cries. But sing 2 doesn't have the same sort of scenes as Paddington. However DS cried the whole time, sobbed.

Where have I gone wrong? I would really love to watch a movie at home, but we can't and I just forgot really and booked the cinema for half term . Can I help him with this? I keep explaining it's all going to be ok and it's not real, it's a story. I don't know how he will grow out of it if he's can't watch anything.

For disclosure- DS is 5.5 in year one at school and quite happy to zap away on his computer games, sword fighting critters, racing and blasting. He's not much into TV now, but watched normal stuff Fireman Sam, Duggee, Octonauts when younger ( and still over his siblings shoulders) but he just wants to do the computer games these days, which is time limited by me, so to watch a movie would be a nice way to relax together with his younger siblings, who only seem to be scared by obviously scary stuff . AIBU and he'll be ok? He didn't ask to leave the film today, but he was exhausted by the emotion

Is this a control issue ? As in he's in control of the games but not the movies ? I'm flummoxed

DD was like this. She watched the Postman Pat movie at home when she was 4 or 5 and I found her silently sobbing when Pat’s wife left him 😆. We also left the cinema early many times without getting to the end, just too loud and too much all at once. She’s older now and finds it easier but still not keen on cinema or anything live and loud. Ironically she is quite loud herself. I just think some kids are more sensitive to things than others.

My little one (5) is EXACTLY the same. Films he watched when younger he can't watch anymore. We try to watch new ones but he can't handle not knowing what's going to happen. He loves the songs from Encanto but we've only managed the first 30mins 3 times. We couldn't get past the first minute of Luca. I watch everything in advance so I can figure out if he'll like it or what I need to prepare for. He watches the usual cartoons for his age and has just started branching into some of the Lego shorts but we watch them with him. He watched Frozen 2 so many times but then went off it. They watched it at school before Christmas and he told us afterwards he was worried but didn't tell a teacher.

I use commonsensemedia to get a good picture beforehand and find out the plot. On Disney+ things are given age ratings 0+ 6+ etc. Cars is fine, cars 2 is not. I have issues with the Incredibles because the first few scenes include a man trying to commit suicide. All the classic Disneys from when I was a child are out because they all have some quite frightening scenes (giant Ursula exploding!!) We tried original Cinderella but he didn't like the stepmum being mean. We watch Winnie the Pooh, Sing 1 or The Grinch. That's it, and that's fine because he's only 5. I encourage him to try new ones and we talk about what might be in them that upsets him, but ultimately it really doesn't matter and I'd rather him be happy than sit through something being worried or upset because he feels he has to.

Who doesn't cry at Paddington 2?!

I think 5 is quite young for Sing 2 - there is quite a scary bad guy in it and definitely a bit of peril. I loved it, but I'm 49.

I cry at virtually all films though (including Sing 2), and I also cried at a pot on the Pottery Throwdown the other night .

Could it be the music? When my DD was 11 months, the film Big Foot was on in the background whilst we were playing games post Xmas dinner. She was in her bouncer sat towards the TV. I noticed that her bottom lip was wobbling and she began to sob. Looking at the TV, Big Foot had been hurt and sad music was playing - violins I believe. And she just sobbed and sobbed. When it finished, she stopped. As she got older; the same pattern continued. We didn't even make it through the opening sequence of The Lion King as the Circle of Life had her a blubbering wreck. I thought I had cracked it with Monsters Inc, but right at the end he makes Boo cry and that was that, the sobbing began. Bambi was a clear no-go. So...could it be the music triggering his emotions?

Not to alarm you but I'm still pretty much like this at 36...

Always been happier with books as then I can choose what to skip past and/or tailor what's happening in my head. I am a nightmare to pick a film with because there are about five I'll watch!

But definitely not anything you're doing, some children/adults are just very sensitive. Recommend reading the highly sensitive child :)

@lollipopsandrainbows

Could it be the music? When my DD was 11 months, the film Big Foot was on in the background whilst we were playing games post Xmas dinner. She was in her bouncer sat towards the TV. I noticed that her bottom lip was wobbling and she began to sob. Looking at the TV, Big Foot had been hurt and sad music was playing - violins I believe. And she just sobbed and sobbed. When it finished, she stopped. As she got older; the same pattern continued. We didn't even make it through the opening sequence of The Lion King as the Circle of Life had her a blubbering wreck. I thought I had cracked it with Monsters Inc, but right at the end he makes Boo cry and that was that, the sobbing began. Bambi was a clear no-go. So...could it be the music triggering his emotions?

Oh this is interesting! There are some songs I've had to remove from my Spotify because I just cry instantly when they come on. I promise I am an adult not a five year old masquerading as one 😂

@CoffeeRunner

He's 5! He really doesn't need to be watching films.

I was a teenager before I went to the cinema & I feel that was quite common in my day (I'm 46 not 76). 5 year olds at the cinema is not the norm.

I went once a month with my big brother from the age of 3/4. It would have been a special showing of Lady and the Tramp.

I got taken to see Star Wars in the cinema aged 5 (1978). I'd obviously proven myself capable of following the rules of the cinema ('sit at back, don't say a word until the titles finish, stay seated until the lights come on, I will buy you something to eat and some comics on the way home whilst you talk at me about the film but try and keep up, it's only 2 miles to walk').

I think might be more common than we’d imagine. My friend’s son (now a strapping great teenager!) absolutely would not watch films until he was about seven. It didn’t even seem to matter what the content of the film was - he would always just get upset or worried and want to leave. It really baffled my friend because he was generally a very robust, cheerful kid who didn’t seem especially sensitive at all. He did grow out of it, though - they gave up trying to go to the cinema, as the whole environment seemed to overwhelm him a bit, and started watching things at home, in instalments. So my friend would say ‘Let’s watch a little bit today and then another bit tomorrow’ and after a while he was saying ‘Can we watch some more?’

I think maybe it is a bit of a control thing - a film is way longer than anything little kids see on television, so maybe they just think ‘What if I don’t like this and have to sit through it for hours and I can’t make it stop?’ Whereas when they play a game they control the action and can pause it whenever they want.

My son was like this and he’s a Big tough 16 year old now. He would cry at movies and really felt the storylines and even now if there’s a movie on that’s sad, him and I will be crying. My daughter however is not like that at all and has never cried watching anything. She looks over in horror while we cry 😂 I think it’s just obviously his personality is much more empathetic and emotional like mine and his sister is more like her dad! As a parent movies are a good opportunity to talk about feelings and he shouldn’t be afraid to cry if that’s what he’s feeling. Just be there with the cuddles and tissues after 😊

Others aren't as fussed because they haven't figured out what 'dead' means yet.

That's a big assumption, I dare say it's true for some kids. Plenty of kids know what "dead" means but can still watch shows or TV with death in it.

Also, it is actually OK to cry at films and doesn't mean there's anything wrong. I am an adult and I still cry at children's films that made me sad when I was a kid -- Littlefoot's mum, Artax, Fox and the Hound...

And of course music makes you feel things... That's all very natural.

@CoffeeRunner

He's 5! He really doesn't need to be watching films.

I was a teenager before I went to the cinema & I feel that was quite common in my day (I'm 46 not 76). 5 year olds at the cinema is not the norm.

I’m also 46 and I used to LOVE the cinema as a young child, and I also loved watching films on video when we got a VCR. I can still remember the excitement of watching films I hadn’t seen before.

I think it’s totally normal for a five-year-old to be taken to the cinema, and to watch films at home. It’s fine if a child doesn’t like it, but I don’t think watching a film is an unusual activity for a small child at all.

I’m like this too! I don’t actually watch much tv

For me I think it’s that I have such a big imagination. I get so pulled in and so all the emotions come out.

@Conc1

To be fair, I cry at pretty much all films too...

Me too! and don’t get me started on Puff the Magic Dragon or little donkey, I’m in bits.

Maybe try some short films like zog or the grufallo see how he gets on.

[quote EdithRea]@raouldufyscat Not really. Older stuff was rated a lot lower than it would be today. They had to bring in the 12 rating because a lot of PG films were becoming quite intense, and you could show all kinds of death and violence so long as you didn't depict lingering torture or blood. They brought in the 12, which can show murder, sexual crime and corpses but so long as there's no blood, it's a 12. The Nolan Batman films contain grisly scenes and murders, but no blood. The Lovely Bones was slammed for frightening scenes of a young girl's rape, murder and the disposal of her body, yet they just slapped a 12 on it.

Look at some 1980s PGs - Poltergeist is a PG. Back to the Future is a PG despite an extended scene of sexual assault. Jaws is a PG despite, well, sharks. Gremlins includes some grim murder and killing scenes, also a PG.[/quote]
I'm not talking about The Lovely Bones or anything that new! And definitely not Batman or Poltergeist. I'm assuming the OP would apply common sense for a child scared of Sing 2.

I am talking The Jungle Book, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Swiss Family Robinson, Mary Poppins, Dr Dolittle, The Sword in the Stone etc etc.

I am sure Gremlins was higher rated than that when it first came out.

Nothing wrong with a child who doesn't like intense scenes in movies/cinema.
The level of frightening scenes and violence which is considered normal in movies is mad anyway.
YABU for forcing on your child. Watching movies isn't compulsory and it seems movies just aren't relaxing for your DC.

I still don't like violence and other intense scenes in movies, but as an adult, I find it easier to choose for myself, compared to being a child/teenager.

I find Parent guide for movies really useful, it gives very detail overview of scenes someone might consider troublesome without spoiling too much, like here m.imdb.com/title/tt1109624/parentalguide
I use it estimate how ok/uncomfortable I'd be with the movie, and if I really want to see something on the edge of my acceptability scale, at least I'm forewarned.

I saw a very sad film about a horse when I was seven. I was hysterical. That memory stayed with me. I will not watched any animal films . Never have, never will.
Its not compulsory. YOU want to enjoy the cinema with him. But he doesnt enjoy it. So dont force him. Easy really!!!

He's 5! He really doesn't need to be watching films.

It's pretty normal for kids to watch films. By the time they are 9/10, a lot of films are too old for them really. I loved Bambi as a kid, probably wouldn't have watched it at 9/10 because it would have been to babyish. I don't know any 5 year old that hasn't ever seen a film.

Mine was petrified of movies at the cinema, we spent most of Happy Feet hiding in the loos.

He finally managed Cars2 when he was around 7, and is now absolutely dedicated to Marvel and all their works.

It's the overwhelming nature of the cinema experience, I reckon. The dark, the noise, the music, the surprises. He was the same with panto/theatre.

Kids are just different. My DD was 4 when we took her to see the live-action Lion King. She loved it. We will be seeing the new Sonic when that comes out, and she's seen Paw Patrol and also Peter Rabbit 2 in the cinema too. She enjoys "scary things" that wouldn't have scared me as a kid.

Whereas my little sister screamed the cinema down when she was around the same age and we went to see Lilo and Stitch 2.

Just focus on what your child does like. I agree things like Zog might be better for him. He might like Cinderella? That's probably the tamest classic Disney film.

The "she enjoys scary things" was meant to be separate. I don't think Paw Patrol and PR2 are scary!

My son cannot handle characters being in any kind of peril. He's sort of ok with violence, weirdly, but even Octonauts can be too much if e.g. a chapter seems like they might be squashed / eaten / left behind.

Things like the Clangers, Button Moon etc would be ok, and he's also fine with that show about a brother and sister (twins?) on cbeebies.

Unfortunately most kids' shows follow a narrative arc where a character is in peril, as emotionally it connects us to them and thus the show making it more compelling to watch.