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AIBU?

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Original poster

My DS age 5.5 cries at all movies

75 replies

navigatingcrumbs · 21/02/2022 18:23

So I thought I'd take DS to see Sing 2 and I should have know better as he was hysterical through Paddington 2 a few weeks ago. He basically can't take ANY action/ adventure or emotional scenes as he gets worried and cries. But sing 2 doesn't have the same sort of scenes as Paddington. However DS cried the whole time, sobbed.

Where have I gone wrong? I would really love to watch a movie at home, but we can't and I just forgot really and booked the cinema for half term . Can I help him with this? I keep explaining it's all going to be ok and it's not real, it's a story. I don't know how he will grow out of it if he's can't watch anything.

For disclosure- DS is 5.5 in year one at school and quite happy to zap away on his computer games, sword fighting critters, racing and blasting. He's not much into TV now, but watched normal stuff Fireman Sam, Duggee, Octonauts when younger ( and still over his siblings shoulders) but he just wants to do the computer games these days, which is time limited by me, so to watch a movie would be a nice way to relax together with his younger siblings, who only seem to be scared by obviously scary stuff . AIBU and he'll be ok? He didn't ask to leave the film today, but he was exhausted by the emotion Sad

Is this a control issue ? As in he's in control of the games but not the movies ? I'm flummoxed

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 21/02/2022 20:09

She also sobbed when Ryder lost his confidence in paw patrol movie and had to leave.

😂

Rivermonsters · 21/02/2022 20:27

I was like that when I was his age, nearly 13 years later I love to watch gory horror movies Grin I wouldn’t worry OP

Original poster
navigatingcrumbs · 21/02/2022 20:58

Sing 2 is a PG so I need U's ?

OP posts:
balalake · 21/02/2022 21:11

Has he tended to watch films at a certain time of day, could he be more likely to cry when tired, perhaps?

Echobelly · 21/02/2022 21:14

You've done nothing wrong - some kids are just like this. DS (10) still finds even the mildest threat or risk of seeing something a little bit scary too much (even if we tell him this is a family film and he won't see anything horrible)!

EdithRea · 21/02/2022 22:26

@navigatingcrumbs

Sing 2 is a PG so I need U's ?
Yes, a PG contains scenes that "may be unsuitable for young children", which means something scarier in it than you might see in something very gentle. Frozen is a PG as it includes being chased by wolves, deaths, people attacked with swords and so on. Frozen II as well. Modern films getting a PG usually means you should leave it til about 7-8, but check the content yourself.

However, that's a fairly modern definition. Older movies you have to check the content of U - 'suitable for all' - as well. The Little Mermaid is an old U but contains aggression and destruction of possessions and a character impaled on the prow of a ship and exploded into bits, which your son probably won't be keen on. The Lion King was classified as a U in 1994 despite containing some memorable death scenes. It would probably be a PG today.

Check out CommonSenseMedia which will give you a complete account of any peril or violence and you can judge for yourself.

RaoulDufysCat · 21/02/2022 22:27

@navigatingcrumbs

Sing 2 is a PG so I need U's ?
Have you thought of trying some much older movies and TV series? They tend to be less alarming!
EdithRea · 21/02/2022 22:28

Also these days a "children's film" that's managed to get itself a PG probably has quite a complex plot for very small children and won't interest 5 year olds. Disney's recent 'Encanto' is honestly amazing but it's a plot where 80% of it would go completely over a toddler's head. It also contains deep scenes of wartime murder and grief, so another one not for sensitive children.

dogaibu · 21/02/2022 22:28

I was like this as a child. Had to be removed from the cinema during All Dogs Go To Heaven. Only 20 mins in, so nothing to do with the film! I just couldn't tolerate the huge screen, dark room, loudness. It was just to much. I was perfectly fine by the time I was about 9. It should pass.

EdithRea · 21/02/2022 22:32

@raouldufyscat Not really. Older stuff was rated a lot lower than it would be today. They had to bring in the 12 rating because a lot of PG films were becoming quite intense, and you could show all kinds of death and violence so long as you didn't depict lingering torture or blood. They brought in the 12, which can show murder, sexual crime and corpses but so long as there's no blood, it's a 12. The Nolan Batman films contain grisly scenes and murders, but no blood. The Lovely Bones was slammed for frightening scenes of a young girl's rape, murder and the disposal of her body, yet they just slapped a 12 on it.

Look at some 1980s PGs - Poltergeist is a PG. Back to the Future is a PG despite an extended scene of sexual assault. Jaws is a PG despite, well, sharks. Gremlins includes some grim murder and killing scenes, also a PG.

N0T0RI0US · 21/02/2022 22:33

My DS is the same, only he doesn't cry, he hides.

At home he will run out of the room, or hide his head under a cushion and put his fingers in his ears.

In the cinema he hides under the seat, he even did this at the panto we went to see before Xmas.

We always have to check the rating of any film for "mild peril" Grin

NotQuiteNormalMe · 21/02/2022 22:36

I think it is a sign of great maturity and empathy. Well that's what my parents told me when I couldn't breathe I was crying so much during the jungle book.

Still cry loads at films, agree with not liking peril, agree with cars being a lovely film as overcoming personality flaws not anything horrible.

Yogurtpotofdoom · 21/02/2022 22:37

@EdithRea

We used to check the ratings for "mild peril." That was what my son hated - peril. He liked a story where everything was fairly OK and the only problem to overcome was quite minor, but he didn't like anything with clear danger - pain, kidnap, villains threatening to stab or kill for example - or people screaming in terror and stuff.

Which is fair. It was less about sensitivity and more that he clearly understood the threat at stake. Being murdered isn't nice, and some kids really understand that. Others aren't as fussed because they haven't figured out what 'dead' means yet.

He liked Cars a lot. The only obstacle the hero has to overcome in that is his own personality flaws and he does so in warm, positive ways.

Don't watch Cars 2. It was heavily criticised upon release for depictions of cars being painfully tortured until they die, and other cars repeatedly referring to shooting, killing and dying. This is the sort of thing plenty of kids want to avoid.

Be a bit wary of older children's films. The threats to kill, stab, cut, burn, hang and dismember are much more common than they are nowadays.

You just need to be more aware of the content of these films. Sing involved a criminal gang who pressured a young son into acting for them. That's some complicated, heavy stuff for kids who can actually pick up on the emotion involved. I've no idea of the plot of Sing 2 but it might go down the same lines, with physical danger or the threat of family disharmony.

For the love of God, don't watch Cars 3 then! Lightening Mcqueen has a crash in it that nearly totals him. Big spoiler, he also doesn't win at the end!
HiJenny35 · 21/02/2022 22:37

My 5 year old is exactly the same. We just don't do it, why force it. Her big sister wanted to watch Enchanto, 5 year old watched the last 10 minutes and saw it ended happily (then we had to sit through the whole film again 😂) we can however watch things like ninja warrior or the Olympics so we just make the best out of that.

CoffeeRunner · 21/02/2022 22:39

He's 5! He really doesn't need to be watching films.

I was a teenager before I went to the cinema & I feel that was quite common in my day (I'm 46 not 76). 5 year olds at the cinema is not the norm.

Yogurtpotofdoom · 21/02/2022 22:40

[quote EdithRea]@raouldufyscat Not really. Older stuff was rated a lot lower than it would be today. They had to bring in the 12 rating because a lot of PG films were becoming quite intense, and you could show all kinds of death and violence so long as you didn't depict lingering torture or blood. They brought in the 12, which can show murder, sexual crime and corpses but so long as there's no blood, it's a 12. The Nolan Batman films contain grisly scenes and murders, but no blood. The Lovely Bones was slammed for frightening scenes of a young girl's rape, murder and the disposal of her body, yet they just slapped a 12 on it.

Look at some 1980s PGs - Poltergeist is a PG. Back to the Future is a PG despite an extended scene of sexual assault. Jaws is a PG despite, well, sharks. Gremlins includes some grim murder and killing scenes, also a PG.[/quote]
Gremlins wasn't a PG when it was released, It was a 15. Because my parents wanted to take us to see it at the cinema and couldn't. It was one of the first films they banded about the idea of the 12 certificate for apparently, but it wasn't brought in until later.

The first Lord of the Rings is a PG which I can't get my head around.

HiJenny35 · 21/02/2022 22:43

5 year old at the cinema really is the norm, there's a whole range of early morning sat and sun reduced price tickets for exactly that however that doesn't mean every 5 year old enjoys it just that it's perfectly fine if you wanted to take him.
Maybe try Paw patrol the movie or Peppa pig the feature length these are much more like watching a slightly longer TV programme.

astoundedgoat · 21/02/2022 22:48

DD1 was like this. Would be a sobbing wreck throughout the most innocuous Disney. We didn’t dare take her to the cinema for years. She grew out of it around 9 or 10. She’ll still well up at the emotional parts now, but no more than the rest of us!

Nat6999 · 21/02/2022 22:52

Mine was the same, he still can't watch the bit in Pooh Bear where Christopher Robin explains he is starting school without crying at 18.

DiscoBadgers · 21/02/2022 22:57

Just don’t take him to see the Sistine chapel….. Grin

Sceptre86 · 21/02/2022 23:02

We rook our kids ro see the Paw parents movie and I cried when Chase was abandoned as a pup. I was 8 months pregnant but can't really use that as an excuse as I cried during Encanto too. I'm sensitive, always have been.

He might grow out of it, he might not. As he gets older he'll get better at explaining what he did or didn't like about rhe film, what upset him.

Sceptre86 · 21/02/2022 23:03

*Paw patrol movie!

OfstedOffred · 21/02/2022 23:06

Loads of childrens films (disney especially!) have a lot of stuff which is terrifying for an intelligent child who is actually listening a d processing what they hear. My son has always been scared by most - it's not rocket science? Parents dying. Threatening adults who want to hurt, scare, kill people. People who take things from children. Fear of death/pain/illness. Getting lost alone without parents/safe adults.

These are terrifying themes for some kids.

ExpulsoCorona · 21/02/2022 23:07

My DS was exactly the same at that age! He couldn't cope with peril at all. DH had to take him out of the cinema during 'The Good Dinosaur' when he was four because "My heart was beating so fast mummy" and he wouldn't stop crying (at the scene where the daddy dinosaur gets swept away to his death). Definitely don't watch this. He's still super sensitive aged 10 but a lot better. At 5, pretty much anything on CBeebies was ok, he still liked Peppa Pig but he wasn't a fan of movies.

OfstedOffred · 21/02/2022 23:09

Oh and I almost never went to the cinema until I was about 9, and then it was to period drama adventure or romantic things which are actually far more pleasant themes than many "children's" films.