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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parents smoking weed?

138 replies

buttercrinkle · 21/02/2022 08:57

I'm in a mum group on Facebook and a poll was posted about whether we smoke weed or not, I ticked no, but was in the minority!

Most of them said they do smoke it regularly, when their children are in bed. They said there's nothing wrong with it and it's similar to having a drink.

I just don't think I'd be able to be on the ball if there was an emergency or something similar. What if your child needed to go to a&e? Although I suppose some people don't drive. I'd feel the same about getting drunk with DS asleep upstairs.

Am I being an unreasonable prude?

OP posts:

Missey85 · 21/02/2022 18:28

I smoke to stop my epilepsy seizures not because its "cool" all the mums getting pissed every day and calling it wine time or whatever are worse

surilurep · 21/02/2022 18:39

I don't think you should smoke weed when you are looking after kids.

Both me and partner smoked ... gave it up while our kids were at home ... started again when they left.

Not too big a deal. OK missed a few years weed smoking fun. Other things are fun though ... including bringing up kids properly.

Same goes for coke ... and, come to think of it, getting drunk. Don't while you have kids at home.

Simple question of morality, really. Though it might be unfashionable to say so.

UnevenBooks · 22/02/2022 00:42

its hardly the same as something that physically changes your brain, you cant recover from that.

A lot of kids from traumatic backgrounds end up with one of the various personality disorders. They are not thought to be curable, only manageable, and the brain is physically different to how it would have developed without the trauma.

UnevenBooks · 22/02/2022 00:42

Or C-PTSD

Suzyinthesummertime · 22/02/2022 02:10

Weed doesn't change people the same way alcohol does..wish my dad back in the day had smoked 10 spliffs instead of had 10 pints

JessieLongleg · 22/02/2022 03:13

@SickAndTiredAgain

That different from having a bit of weed a few times a week after bed time post breastfeed. I see some in the UK that think the same as the influence of America. If you look up the reallity it's not a vitamin, it's been linked to stillbirth, early birth, low birth weight but will not just made the baby slow thinking like the sterotype. I've found examples of women that have gone through that and lost babies smoking weed heavy. In the UK one girl I know was smoking it for morning sickness as has HG. People were saying to her it's ok without tabbaco and she didn't say she was toking pure. But said it made the morning sickness better and I though more like making her feel better because of the tabbaco as it's no easy to give up. Surprise she was back in hospital for HG weeks later! No research has backed up the cannabis morning sickness theory. Pre pregnancy I found it good for nausea related to back and knee problems but that nausea has a direct cause I've I push myself to much and has been proven to relax muscles. Morning sickness is different not the result of overdoing it but a build up of hormones. Hence why a lot of morning sickness remedies don't have good reviews. When I here about people smoking it in pregnancy I don't take that as a green light. I'm nearly 6ft as with drink I can handle my weed and build up a tollorence. So if have the money and time would class myself as a chronic pure weed vaper. No way I'm I doing that through pregnancy. Made the husband give up tabbaco as well it's not the 80's I told him. His mum smoked cigs though pregnancy and he has a Mensa iq in top 1% of 164 but does think if his mum didn't smoke he would be a bit taller lol.

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 22/02/2022 05:52

I don't know how people smoke weed, from dabbling in my teenage years, it just made me a bumbling, paranoid mess.

I certainly couldn't look after ds when high! I wouldn't drink whilst looking after him solo either though, if I drink dp is sober and vice a versa.

WindyKnickers · 22/02/2022 06:05

As my children get older (they are 6 and 10) I find myself reluctant to do anything that I couldn't justify to them. I expect them to behave well and we have lots of discussions about morality, legality, taking responsibility so I don't like the idea of sneaking around taking drugs while they're asleep or at their Dad's house. This is the main reason I gave up my 2 cigarettes an evening habit. I hated the thought that they would catch me out. I'm not completely against taking drugs (although have chosen not to for years now) and am happy to talk to the DC about it in an age appropriate way but I don't like feeling like a hypocrite.

cafedesreves · 22/02/2022 07:40

I have literally never come across someone who admits to smoking weed as a parent. It's just not something that would even cross my mind as an option!

TheUser420 · 22/02/2022 07:53

I thought the modern way was trusting personal responsibility ? After all we are doing that with a killer disease. May as well start being consistent. After all it's hard enough to explain drugs laws as they are. And I have 2 doctorates.

SnowFlo · 22/02/2022 08:23

Other things are fun though ... including bringing up kids properly.

You can raise kids perfectly well while using weed.

Simple question of morality, really

Your idea of what is moral is different to mine. I don't think it's immoral to drink or use cannabis as a parent at all. Getting drunk or really stoned in some charge if a child is bad, but again stoned is different to drunk - I can function stoned no problem, go to work on the train and do a the tasks I need to, I couldn't do that drunk.

It's about excess when it becomes immoral imo.

RockstarDotCom · 22/02/2022 08:41

Most people I’ve known that smoke weed, think they’re just as capable of various tasks when smoking it. But the reality is, it does affect ability to do tasks and it also seems to raise the persons perspective of their capability, a scary combination. On the other hand, I’ve never met anyone who claims they can operate just as well after a drink and definitely no one who claims it makes them better.

inmyslippers · 22/02/2022 08:41

I think not taking drugs is a bare minimum requirement when you have kids

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/02/2022 08:47

@inmyslippers

I think not taking drugs is a bare minimum requirement when you have kids

Do you include prescription drugs in that? No insulin for diabetic parents? No chemotherapy for parents with Cancer? Seems a bit harsh not having chemo because you have children

Lonelycrab · 22/02/2022 09:26

Bottom line is both alcohol and weed are drugs, they change our brain chemistry in a pleasurable way and that’s why we consume them. The fact that one is illegal and one is not is beside the point, one is either sober or not.

Saying that weed smoking makes you a bad parent but alcohol use is fine is nonsense- if you say this and drink any alcohol at all you are being hypocritical. Either in moderation is fine imo.
I’m not going to say a parent having a glass of wine at the end of the day is bad parenting because it’s no such thing, and millions of us do this.

And a quick look on any weekend at any city centre at 1130pm, or any A+E dept at that time should tell you all you need to know about the damage alcohol causes to society. As a country we have a massive problem with alcohol abuse, and to demonise a parent for having a late night smoke is imo a bit ridiculous.

Legalisation would raise millions in tax, moderate the strength and also massively damage the county lines gangs. It would also eradicate spice- a truly devastating drug.

TheUser420 · 22/02/2022 09:51

Legalisation would raise millions in tax, moderate the strength and also massively damage the county lines gangs. It would also eradicate spice- a truly devastating drug.

It's so obvious that our current politicians are being paid by the drugs barons to keep drugs illegal. Much as the biggest donors to prohibition parties in the US were the bootleggers.

BettyBag · 22/02/2022 09:56

@Suzyinthesummertime

Weed doesn't change people the same way alcohol does..wish my dad back in the day had smoked 10 spliffs instead of had 10 pints

Amen. Christ I wish I been raised by a pot head rather than an alcoholic.

UnevenBooks · 22/02/2022 10:13

Most people I’ve known that smoke weed, think they’re just as capable of various tasks when smoking it. But the reality is, it does affect ability to do tasks

Not in the same way as alcohol, I know this because I know myself and how it affects me. I've never had a problem arise that I couldn't solve or carry out perfectly because I had had a smoke. I don't drive or operate heavy machinery or anything anyway so that's not an issue. But just everyday tasks? All completely doable.

On the other hand, I was once prescribed Xanax, and on another occasion Zopiclone, and that fucked me up. I can get the same benefits of those drugs mentally with cannabis whilst still being able to live normally.

RockstarDotCom · 22/02/2022 10:17

Not in the same way as alcohol, I know this because I know myself and how it affects me. I've never had a problem arise that I couldn't solve or carry out perfectly because I had had a smoke.

But that’s what you think, your perception is altered whether you think it is or not. Your reaction times will be slower. You will not be the same as when not smoking it. Unless you’ve smoked so much over the years that you’re completely messed up. Hopefully not.

People can do what they like, but it’s frightening when they don’t realise that it affects them, that’s the bit that makes it dangerous. And they dig their heels in and say they are unaffected.

BettyBag · 22/02/2022 10:22

@RockstarDotCom

Not in the same way as alcohol, I know this because I know myself and how it affects me. I've never had a problem arise that I couldn't solve or carry out perfectly because I had had a smoke.

People can do what they like, but it’s frightening when they don’t realise that it affects them, that’s the bit that makes it dangerous. And they dig their heels in and say they are unaffected.

Yeah it's confusing. Like could you effectively do laundry after smoking a small about of weed? Sure but you probably could after a small amount of alcohol too.

It's higher amounts and longer term use were you see the real difference.

gamerchick · 22/02/2022 10:37

County lines and the stabbings that seem rife

Problem is with that, your average person doesnt connect the dots as they're ignorant to the horror of it all. When you do training sessions it's quiet an eye opener.

Smoking weed is for losers. It has its uses for extreme illness, but there are other ways to use it for therapy other than smoking it.

People always justify it to themselves by aligning it with drinking alcohol. But a small amount of alcohol doesn't trigger a mental health crisis like weed can, especially that minging smelly stuff that's available these days.

It comes out your pores, even if you only do a small amount. Weed smokers smell just as smokers do, whether they believe it or not.

gamerchick · 22/02/2022 10:43

I can function stoned no problem, go to work on the train and do a the tasks I need to, I couldn't do that drunk

If you need to be stoned to go to work then you have some truths to admit to yourself.

Blossomtoes · 22/02/2022 10:49

@gamerchick

I can function stoned no problem, go to work on the train and do a the tasks I need to, I couldn't do that drunk

If you need to be stoned to go to work then you have some truths to admit to yourself.

If you think that’s what that post means you need to brush up your comprehension skills. Able isn’t the same as need.

gamerchick · 22/02/2022 10:58

Going to work stoned is a need, like obviously. Hopefully it was just used as an example.

People delude themselves that they are perfectly normal when stoned. They really aren't.

It might be their normal but it's not normal.

Blossomtoes · 22/02/2022 11:31

It’s not obvious at all. Just admit you completely misunderstood that post.

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