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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents smoking weed?

138 replies

buttercrinkle · 21/02/2022 08:57

I'm in a mum group on Facebook and a poll was posted about whether we smoke weed or not, I ticked no, but was in the minority!

Most of them said they do smoke it regularly, when their children are in bed. They said there's nothing wrong with it and it's similar to having a drink.

I just don't think I'd be able to be on the ball if there was an emergency or something similar. What if your child needed to go to a&e? Although I suppose some people don't drive. I'd feel the same about getting drunk with DS asleep upstairs.

Am I being an unreasonable prude?

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 21/02/2022 09:41

Well I have large age gaps so I'd be on 27 years without a drink and still counting asthe youngest is 9

As long as it's not every night and they are not totally off their head on it I don't see any difference to having a couple of glasses of wine

iklboo · 21/02/2022 09:44

Shall we also shame all the parents taking anxiety or depression medication?

Anxiety & depression medication - in the main - have nowhere near the same effect on your reflexes & cognitive thinking as weed. Not unless you're on large doses.

EvilPea · 21/02/2022 09:46

@Featuredcreature

Meh, who cares. Its fucking legal in most of America and Canada, less harmful than alcohol. I'm pretty sure you could still deal with an emergency after a joint. Exactly how is it directly responsible for the exploitation of children Confused.
County lines and the stabbings that seem rife.
Wowsostormy · 21/02/2022 09:47

I don't do either so have no skin in the game here, but in my experience I've seen drinking have more of a negative impact on families than smoking weed. It's not typical for people to get stoned and argumentative/aggressive! But alcohol has that effect on many. My main concern would be passive smoking, if weed is being smoked with tobacco.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 21/02/2022 09:52

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Kinsters · 21/02/2022 10:06

No way. I'd never do drugs around my kids. Partly because I don't have that much experience with drugs so I'm not sure how much would get me trashed and how I'd react. I tried weed a few times when I was younger and it made me really paranoid which I don't think is a great mix with young kids.

Kinsters · 21/02/2022 10:08

You can also never be totally sure what you're getting. Doesn't matter if you're a young adult with no responsibilities but if you've got kids to care for and you accidently end up getting totally hammered because the dosing was different to what you're used to then that's a problem. Don't get that with alcohol.

Vanellopee · 21/02/2022 10:12

Is it perfect, no?

Less bad than having a glass of wine or two? Probably.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 21/02/2022 10:14

@Kinsters

You can also never be totally sure what you're getting. Doesn't matter if you're a young adult with no responsibilities but if you've got kids to care for and you accidently end up getting totally hammered because the dosing was different to what you're used to then that's a problem. Don't get that with alcohol.
Weed doesn't really work like this though
gogohm · 21/02/2022 10:15

I don't smoke anything, why would I smoke weed???

I personally don't know anyone who does. My kids are fervently anti drugs and anti smoking too despite being young adults

Teaforme123 · 21/02/2022 10:18

A couple I used to know smoked it regularly when their small children were in bed. They would then stay in bed the next morning and stick the kids infront of the telly. They were GPs too. 😕 Personally I wouldn't it doesn't agree with me.

Nameynameynamechanging · 21/02/2022 10:18

@Kinsters

You can also never be totally sure what you're getting. Doesn't matter if you're a young adult with no responsibilities but if you've got kids to care for and you accidently end up getting totally hammered because the dosing was different to what you're used to then that's a problem. Don't get that with alcohol.
You do get it with alcohol, if you haven't eaten enough you can utterly pissed on one glass of wine, same as if you haven't had a drink for a while, or you try a different type it may not agree with you.

I cant drink wine because it gets me ridiculously drunk very quickly, I can drink some stronger alcohols with no problems at all.

You can also be absolutely sure what weed strength you're getting of you go to the right places.

Weed is no worse, arguably better, than alcohol.

3WildOnes · 21/02/2022 10:22

I wouldn’t feel comfortable smoking an illegal substance when my children are in the house. I have smoked weed a few times since having kids but always when I have been at parties and they have been staying with grandparents. I feel pretty out of it after a couple of tokes. No way would I be able to care for a child after smoking. For me it would be the equivalent of drinking a bottle of wine which I also wouldn’t do if I had to children in the house or had to care for the later that day. I do happily have a glass or two whilst my children are in the house.

RockstarDotCom · 21/02/2022 10:24

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EvilPea · 21/02/2022 10:25

@Vanellopee

Is it perfect, no?

Less bad than having a glass of wine or two? Probably.

I know people who have been completely fucked by drugs, nose collapsing, losing the family home etc on coke.

Ending up in psychiatric care because of weed and destroying any meaningful future life.

I also know some alcoholics who have fucked up their lives.

You never know with drugs which side of the fence you’ll end up on. However alcohol does seem easier to spot and rein yourself in from if it’s getting out of hand.

I do wonder if alcohol was discovered now it would be banned like drugs. The cost to society with NHS, policing etc is huge

Anyway I digress. Someone once wrote on here how to judge something by imagining how it would it read in the daily mail if something happened. E.g child strangled themselves with blind cord (a terrible accident) whilst parents got stoned downstairs.
It doesn’t read well does it.

6demandingchildren · 21/02/2022 10:28

Neither me or my husband smoke it and out of my 6 children (only 1 under 16) only the eldest smokes it.
I'm not against it as I don't know enough about it, it has been recommended to me for pain but as an ex smoker of cigarettes I don't want to start that kind of habit again .

Herja · 21/02/2022 10:31

I smoke weed. I like it and have no intention of stopping.

I smoke it in the garden, after the kids are well asleep. It doesn't leave me unable to cope with emergencies, on the whole it quietens my racing mind and makes it easier to read. I presume my neighbours don't care as both sides and the back smoke it too. I smoke organic, wanky weed that's lovingly tended by an old hippy - no exploitation involved.

I have had my family utterly destroyed by alcohol. Watched it destroy people leaving them wrecks crawling to the loo while vomiting blood. Watched my dad die of his alcoholism in his mid 30s. Watched my boyfriend sink and die. To these ends, I don't drink and don't see the booze as a safe and reasonable option. It makes me feel sick and I don't find it fun in any way. Weed though - nice, mellow, doesn't affect my ability to think and generally lovely!

Poll4 · 21/02/2022 10:34

I don't have any problem with parents smoking weed or drinking. But with both I don't think they should be done unless your children are elsewhere for the night.

I'd have a drink if my son was asleep upstairs but not much and one of us, me or DH, would make sure we were sober if the other was having a drink.

Branleuse · 21/02/2022 10:41

I know plenty of parents that smoke weed occssionally and plenty that dont. My own dad was a weed smoker, my mum occasionally but not much but has nothing against it. Plenty of my extended family of cousins or uncles and aunts have used recreational drugs in the past and mostly all professionals and educated people.
I think its odd when people are judgy about it. Its really common and while it is of course true that getting too into anything be it smoking, drinking or any other substance, is a problem, in my circles its just not a big deal. Youve obviously then got people who abuse any drug and it is terrible for them. Known plenty of those over the years but in the same way that theres abig difference between those who drink white lightening and special brew in the underpass, and those that enjoy a beer or a glass of wine in the evening or weekend. There are those that might smoke a bit of weed to chill out in the evening before bed, and those that cant deal with life without being on something. Its not the same culture

SnowFlo · 21/02/2022 10:41

I can do everything I normally do when I smoke. It relaxes me, it's not the same as being drunk, more like how you feel after a a glass of wine or two. I smoke and study, read books, clean, go to the shops, exercise, and could absolutely react in an emergency situation. People have this idea that if you smoke you are so high you just sit there and don't do anything and react all slow-motion like "heeey, maan, chill out". Maybe the first time you smoke it, or if you don't smoke regularly, or you smoke way too much, but it's not how it is for me at all.

malificent7 · 21/02/2022 10:44

I would judge the fuck out of them tbh.

Cloudsarebright · 21/02/2022 10:45

In terms of an emergency how’s it different to drinking?

SnowFlo · 21/02/2022 10:45

I should specify, not large glasses!

People think nothing of going out for dinner with the family and having wine or some beer etc, and then going home and putting kids to bed etc. Could you react in an emergency that night after a glass of wine? I'm sure you could. As could I. I would trust my weed-smoker friends who were a bit high to cope in a situation far more than someone who had been drinking and was a bit drunk.

Onlyforcake · 21/02/2022 10:48

Their clothes, their kids clothes will stink of it. It's not hard to tell the 'desperatly trying to recapture their youth' stoner parents on the school run nor their kids.

It's like potbellied 60 year old guys in sports cars. Got to look the other way and cringe.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 21/02/2022 10:49

@Kinsters

You can also never be totally sure what you're getting. Doesn't matter if you're a young adult with no responsibilities but if you've got kids to care for and you accidently end up getting totally hammered because the dosing was different to what you're used to then that's a problem. Don't get that with alcohol.
That’s not really going to happen with weed though. Maybe coke or something, but not weed.

Having taken a fair amount of drugs in my younger days I can’t get worked up about people smoking a bit of weed. Alcohol is far worse than the majority of drugs, you’re far less in control and far less able to deal with a situation when drunk than if you were high on weed, pills, coke, MDMA etc etc (obviously some drugs are worse, eg heroine). yet people get drunk around their kids all the time and no one cares.

Someone who’s had a joint or two would still be completely capable of caring for their kids and dealing with an emergency. It’s not the pinnacle of parenting brilliance to smoke weed when in charge of young children, but I’d be less concerned about that than parents getting drunk.

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