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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to an out of hours work meeting at 7:30am?

172 replies

Hop27 · 21/02/2022 06:19

I work in a small leadership team, and generally speaking we offer flexibility around meeting times so that is suits all of the team. We used to hold a meeting at 7:30am for 1 hour on a Friday, so that it didn’t interrupt our billable client time. But one of our team moved onto a 4 day week, so we moved the meeting to mid-week at 8:30am to suit them, but we did condense the meeting into 30 minutes. The person who worked a 4 day week has now left and our manager wants the meeting back on a Friday at 7:30am. AIBU to request for the meeting not to be moved? I have a fitness related commitment which I would not be able to do, if I had to be in the office at 7:30am? I could rearrange my routine, but honestly I don’t want to. I like getting up at 5, to go to this class and not having to take a gym bag to work (and lug it round with me if I go out for Friday drinks). My contracted hours are 8:30-5pm, but we are always expected to do more outside of those. AIBU to request the meeting isn’t moved or should I just accept the change to avoid a potential conflict?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 21/02/2022 07:29

Just tell them you can't make it because you have other commitments at that time.

Move22 · 21/02/2022 07:29

Only if you get to finish an hour early and then not keen if you exercise the. Your non working time is your precious time.

EmmaH2022 · 21/02/2022 07:36

@SusieSusieSoo

I think it's fair enough of you to say the world's moved on, you have a Friday morning commitment now so you can't change now.

Think about it, if it was a bloke with a golf commitment - maybe tennis - I don't imagine anyone would expect him to move that or is that just the industry where I work

Nearly everywhere I've worked would expect a bloke to move that.

I don't know, OP. I think I'd say it's been proven that 8.30 for 30 mins works fine, so in the interests of being a modern workplace, you think it should stay that way. I wouldn't even mention the activity.

gogohm · 21/02/2022 07:37

Dp has 7.30 meetings due to international time zones, otherwise there's no justification to start before 8.30 when you start work normally

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/02/2022 07:46

@SusieSusieSoo

I think it's fair enough of you to say the world's moved on, you have a Friday morning commitment now so you can't change now.

Think about it, if it was a bloke with a golf commitment - maybe tennis - I don't imagine anyone would expect him to move that or is that just the industry where I work

I doubt it’s anything to do with OP being a woman
ABitOfAShitShow · 21/02/2022 07:49

As PPs have said, you would be perfectly reasonable to say that you now have a commitment on Fridays that prevents you from attending.

I also agree that while meetings before your contracted start time may happen from time-to-time, regular meetings should be in core hours.

Also - if it’s a time zone issue, it absolutely shouldn’t be done on a Friday. We actively avoid scheduling meetings in APAC’s evening on Fridays because they deserve a weekend too.

Original poster
Hop27 · 21/02/2022 07:49

I get the time zone thing, but that isn't the justification for the move.
The rest of the team would probably be ok with the move because they live to work but I spend the rest of the week rushing from the gym, to be at my desk by 8, constantly having a gym bag with me. Friday's are just such a luxury, not having to pack a gym bag and getting ready in my own bathroom, not a shared communal one, getting a coffee from my local before I commute into the city. It's taken a while to get used to training at 5:30am, and now I'm reluctant to give it up for NO reason.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/02/2022 07:55

I'd probably say ti them all something like

"I would be sorry to see the meetings return to their 7.30am slot, as I feel the 8.30slot enables me to feel better prepared, plus the reduced time to 30minutes ensure the whole meeting is focused on its purpose"

Lemonlemon88 · 21/02/2022 07:55

You are not being inreasonable. My boss likes to schedule any team event to be a breakfast that is done and dusted before work. They get annoyed i dont attend but i cant do preschool drop off so its a no go. Just give your (hardworking) team 45 minutes of their work day off once in a while!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/02/2022 07:57

I’ll be the lone voice saying YABU. It was decent of them to move the 7.30am to 8.30am to accommodate a staff member’s change of working patterns but that rationale has now gone and the time reverted to the original time that does not disrupt the working billable day.

I think it’s fine for you to request (not demand) a different day, as Fridays now longer work for you - but from what you say, you just don’t want to go back to the original time on any day.

Where I work, UK staff would be expected to suck up the occasional 7.30am meeting - partly to accommodate head office (an hour ahead) and really because it would be the only time everyone could make it given pressures of time during the working day (not billable hours but otherwise pretty full on days during which it would otherwise be like nailing jelly to the wall to sort a meeting).

If you’re, say, a data entry clerk on close to minimum wage, then I think fine to decline or require overtime / time off in lieu. However, if you’re in a leadership position, well 🤷‍♀️

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 21/02/2022 07:58

I have a conflicting appointment at that time with my bed

DaisyArtichoke7 · 21/02/2022 07:59

No your manager needs to adjust chargeable time and recovery targets to include a weekly half hour staff meeting at 8:30.

balalake · 21/02/2022 08:02

Unreasonable I think, but your response should include a proposed new time not just objecting.

LookItsMeAgain · 21/02/2022 08:03

I'd use a combination of @Gunpowder and @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz suggestions to get that you've made adjustments to your life around this meeting and it really doesn't suit you any more.
So something like: ‘Unfortunately I have a regular commitment on Fridays before work, so that time doesn’t work for me any more and furthermore, I would be sorry to see the meetings return to their 7.30am slot, as I feel the 8.30 slot enables us all to be better prepared, along with the reduced time to 30 minutes ensuring the whole meeting is focused on its purpose"

Changeee15467 · 21/02/2022 08:03

OP we need to know your salary band for such demands 😂

Nix2020 · 21/02/2022 08:08

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle

I’ll be the lone voice saying YABU. It was decent of them to move the 7.30am to 8.30am to accommodate a staff member’s change of working patterns but that rationale has now gone and the time reverted to the original time that does not disrupt the working billable day.

I think it’s fine for you to request (not demand) a different day, as Fridays now longer work for you - but from what you say, you just don’t want to go back to the original time on any day.

Where I work, UK staff would be expected to suck up the occasional 7.30am meeting - partly to accommodate head office (an hour ahead) and really because it would be the only time everyone could make it given pressures of time during the working day (not billable hours but otherwise pretty full on days during which it would otherwise be like nailing jelly to the wall to sort a meeting).

If you’re, say, a data entry clerk on close to minimum wage, then I think fine to decline or require overtime / time off in lieu. However, if you’re in a leadership position, well 🤷‍♀️

I think the statement used here is you work to live not live to work. The meeting change is outwith standard working hours and is impacting on your work life balance.
C8H10N4O2 · 21/02/2022 08:12

You are part of the leadership team but you can't have a sensible discussion about meeting times with your colleagues?

Seashor · 21/02/2022 08:15

DaisyArtichoke7 has the answer. Don’t mention your gym session, don’t apologise, just say what Daisy said. Thank you for offering a 0730 meeting, unfortunately that doesn’t work for my work life balance.
I was expected to be at meetings during my non existent lunch time, it became regular. I just said, ‘ You will need to find time before or after the meeting to accommodate my (unpaid) lunch. They got the message.

christmastreewithhairyfairy · 21/02/2022 08:16

I've been in a role that's often required early morning calls (Asia clients) but even I think this is unreasonable! The fact that it's a) a weekly ask not ad hoc to fit around diaries and b) in person rather than a call. Yanbu at all to tell them to do one!
NB not sure if this is the route you want to take but in the past when I've had requests like this from employers I've pointed out it could constitute indirect discrimination (because women are more likely to have caring responsibilities so less likely to be able to be flexible in this way). They usually backed off then...

Ragwort · 21/02/2022 08:17

From what the OP has said she clearly is in a well paid job (lawyer?) so I do think flexibility is expected and she would not be well thought of if she mentioned 'core hours'.

Mybestyear · 21/02/2022 08:18

This type of thing is common in the NHS at more senior levels which are top-heavy with males. I worked in a team once and all the consultants met at 7am for an hour before ward rounds started - they were all male bar one who had a live in nanny. It stressed me out so much trying to get DC up and into nursery and get in for the meeting. This type of working very much favours those who can afford completely flexible child care and those with a SAHP.

rookiemere · 21/02/2022 08:20

Would 730 on a different day suit, or is it the time that's the issue not the day ? I think you could say you now have an appointment on the Friday morning that can't be moved ( pretend you're seeing a personal trainer and that's the only slot he can accommodate) .

GracieLouFreeebush · 21/02/2022 08:22

I’ll be the lone voice saying YABU. It was decent of them to move the 7.30am to 8.30am to accommodate a staff member’s change of working patterns but that rationale has now gone and the time reverted to the original time that does not disrupt the working billable day.
This wouldn’t accommodate OPs working hours, she’s not contracted to start until 8:30.

NoSquirrels · 21/02/2022 08:24

If it wasn’t on a Friday, would you be happier? If it was on a Weds at 7.30 instead? Or at 8am?

What adjustments might work other than 7.30 on Friday?

girlmom21 · 21/02/2022 08:25

@GracieLouFreeebush

I’ll be the lone voice saying YABU. It was decent of them to move the 7.30am to 8.30am to accommodate a staff member’s change of working patterns but that rationale has now gone and the time reverted to the original time that does not disrupt the working billable day. This wouldn’t accommodate OPs working hours, she’s not contracted to start until 8:30.
she says 8:30 but then she said she's racing to her desk at 8:00 every day.

I don't think she should have to do the 7:30 meeting but I also think she should stop being available before 8:30