To fall out with DH for calling me and the baby 'work'

[tirednewmumm]

Dh came home tonight and said that after baby (5 months) goes to bed he could do with an hour to himself. Totally fine, I know how that feels and he will happily stay with baby while I have a bath when I feel that way, we get very equal rest time.

He went on to say that being at home is basically as hard and shit as being at work and that there is no fun in life anymore. It's really hurt my feelings and I cried, I'm on mat leave and work my ass off to get the chores done while baby naps so he literally goes to work and comes home and cuddles baby and helps with bedtime, baby is breastfed so he rarely needs to do feeds,

He thinks I'm being unreasonable to be upset and he didn't mean anything by it, I'm crushed that he thinks our life now is rubbish, it's hard but o thought good at least and I enjoy it.

So aibu to tell him to sodd off to the guest room and have a full night off never mind an hour he asked for

He is the one who needs to try some empathy!

When I was a new mother, 30 years ago, my my husband ( now ex😏) said something similar… in fact he said it after the third and as they grew, he told me that he felt “way down the list of priorities “….
I do think it is very, very hard with a new baby and it IS hard work - for BOTH parents!

it will pass and get easier, but if he’s used to being “number one”… I can’t expect that to change, in my opinion.Sorry.🫤

Yes and I can happily confirm all is fine and we're still together and a happy family early days are rough what can I say 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ah that’s so nice to hear!

And yes they are rough. Such a nice update though

Op - you are both exhausted it's really really normal to fall out over minor things like this. Before I had children - I literally never argued with my DH! Once our first baby arrived - constant bickering and tired rage.

His comment is true! He has gone from having a life where the hard stuff ended at 6pm to neverending drudgery - it's better to just let him say that than make him think he has to pretend he doesn't find it hard.

I remember texting a freined when my baby was tiny and saying oh I feel so guilty but I hate this - and she replied oh everyone hates it - its just shit. and that made me feel so much better - of course I adored /loved/ worshipped my little child - but I hated the newborn stage so much - I had no sleep, never had a minute to myself

And it is a HUGE change in life- you have been at home all day and are desperate for him to arrive home and join in with it all - but remember he has been at work all day and is tired - he walks in often to a crying/ exhausted partner who is at the worst bit of the day - its really tough on both of you

Glad they revived it, my DH made a similar comment about our 4 month old today and it was nice to see what my non overtired hormonal self thought 😂