Do most Teenagers do drugs?

[Oslosunshine]

DD is 17. She was at a party last night and I got a call from her as it got shut down by the police. One of the girls at the party was taken to hospital in an ambulance after an overdose. Today I had a chat with the mum of the boy who’s party it was and she was, to be expected, incredibly frustrated as she had to fly back to deal with the fallout. Thankfully the police were only really fussed about the noise after the neighbours complained and nothing is being taken further.

However, this prompted me to speak to my DD about why drugs should be avoided and about being sensible etc. DD got very defensive and told me that everyone does drugs, ‘MDMA is safer than alcohol’ and lots more to that extent.

I was incredibly shocked- I know DD smokes (both cigarettes and weed) and whilst I would prefer her to stop, she’s 17 and like most of my peers, I did the same at her age. However, I knew absolutely nothing of the hard drugs and how common they are with her friends.

DH is also worried but sees it as an almost given. He went to a similar school in London to hers and was in a similar ‘scene’ when he was younger and confirms that it is very much the norm.

Mum of the party boy agreed that coke, ketamine, MDMA are all very normalised with their peers and thinks the best course of action is to educate them on dosages, rather than pleading with them to stop.

I feel so naive; I feel as if I have failed my daughter by bringing her up in this privileged inner city London environment where most of the DC have the money for these expensive drugs. But DH thinks it’s not our fault and that this happens everywhere. It certainly didn’t happen on this scale when I was growing up in a less privileged, more suburban area.

Is this normal for teenagers everywhere/ was I just incredibly sheltered growing up?

No It is not normal. My teen is always disgusted if he hears people are doing drugs.

@JaniieJones

'I work with teens most do drugs. And most drugs are safer than alcohol'

No, they don't. Some do, many do not.

Drugs are not safer than alcohol as you just cannot know what you are consuming. The tone of this thread that most do it so educate them is madness. How on earth do you educate them? 'Oh well you may just get a euphoric feeling or you may have a fit and die'.

The best education is to change their friendship group and mix with the many, many teens that don't do drugs.

Well goodluck with that opinion. Try telling a teenager to drop his/her friendship group and you are just escalating the problem you have.

I've had years of experience with my ds. I'd say from age 15 to 19 absolute nightmare. He took MDMA Weed Coke Ketamine Xanax and God knows what else.

We tried the angry parent route ie you have to stop this you can't do this you will end up dead or arrested and yes both happened, not dead but was intubated as the drugs and alcohol caused respiratory depression.

I cannot stress enough no amount of being angry/ livid not putting up with it will change their attitudes.
I looked at the Frank website which is just amazing it sets it all out for them and you can discuss drugs with your teens in a non confrontational way.

Just being angry and saying stop doing drugs does not work. I'm not saying you have to agree with drugs I certainly don't I too as a HCP have seen the damage they do to lives and families.

He has now settled down massively has a fiance and a baby. It could have been so different. Being angry at them does not make them stop. Talking and advising may just keep them safer though.

Yes, I do agree that just being angry won't work. Talking about it openly and honestly is the key.

Not normalised amongst any of my late teen nieces and nephews and their friends. I think it’s down to parents normalising and okaying it and putting it down as it’s normal to experiment etc. Non of my nieces and nephews or their friendship group smoke or take drugs. They do drink but that’s it.

Just to add drugs cross all class groups. We live in a small village have a nice lifestyle but he still got sucked into the drug scene.
They are as easy to obtain as ordering a takeaway. The dealers deliver to your house there are no boundaries.

I'd say 60-70% of the people I knew as a teenager have tried/do/did drugs, but most of them not until we were at uni.

(Except weed - the kids who smoked weed tended to start 14/15ish.)

The very odd person maybe did a pill at a festival before we went to uni but it wasn't especially widespread.

My two teenage cousins (14 and 16) say it's not uncommon but not everywhere in their posh-ish Greater Manchester school - i.e. they both know people who take drugs, but it's not like if you don't you're the odd one out.

I know more people who’ve been taken to hospital and had their stomachs pumped due to alcohol than any drug related issues confused

Stomach pumping went out of use before the 00’s as it was shown to cause more harm and be of little benefit. Some stuck with it a bit longer as there’s a certain type of medic that feels it “teaches a lesson” .

So if you know so many people who’ve had their stomachs pumped there are serious CPD issues at your local a&e.

@AlexaShutUp

It's a bit of a cop-out to suggest that the parents who think their dc don't take drugs are just blissfully unaware. So the parents of the drug-takers convince themselves that they are actually better parents because at least their kids are talking to them about it, whereas the others are just in denial.

Of course, there will be some kids whose parents will be oblivious to what their kids are doing, and yes, it is better if you at least know. But there will also be many, many parents who are absolutely right in their belief that their kids don't do drugs. Lots of kids don't.

My mum would have been one of the ones on here saying that her kids didn't do drugs. She would have been right. Neither dsis nor I ever touched them. I never even tried a bloody cigarette. The majority of my friends didn't do drugs either. A small number did.

I think it's too easy for parents to shake off any worry about drugs by persuading themselves that this is normal teenage behaviour. Yes, it's true that drug use is fairly common, but I don't actually think that the majority of kids go down that route. Though it will be the majority in certain friendship groups.

This mirrors my experience. My DM would also have said that her children didn't take drugs and she would have been dead right. By 17 neither of us had been drink either as another poster said. Alcohol / drunk was very common but not universal. Drugs were not at all part of my friendship group growing up or at Uni which wasn't that long ago. Having drugs so deeply intergrated into having a good time is very sad. I think they many young people don't want to say no and be the odd one out. I attended a few lectures at Uni on the impact of drug use on the brain and it was very powerful. Even short term drug use has a huge impact and can be the catalyst for mental health problems and addiction. So little in life gets better by adding drugs so I could never see the point.

They're definitely cheap and easily available at schools but I think only around 50 per cent or less of high schoolers would try drugs. It's not the norm.

I don’t think they should be legalised- look at how much alcohol is used and abused. Also how there are fewer smokers now you can’t smoke indoors. There needs to be a solution - education, less potentially harmful alternatives, but not just making them legal.

Haven't rtft so apologies if this is repetition but relatively recent research shows it's not the majority, but a significant minority have tried at least one drug - most commonly cannabis. Proportions who use them regularly are lower again

digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/smoking-drinking-and-drug-use-among-young-people-in-england/2018/part-8-drug-use-prevalence-and-consumption

HNRTT and I can understand the harm reduction perspective 'about educating them on doses' but for most drugs I don't think there is a safe dose, physiological reactions for MDMA can be lethal, risk of contaminating opiates/most white tablets with fentanyl where a lethal dose even without other risk factors or contaminants is an imperceptible 2mg? USA fentanyl related deaths are c 60,000 a year though that number of deaths is contested.

I would have to explore your DD's thinking (and kick the daylights out of it) that MDMA is 'safer than alcohol' given it's probably a teenager's logic about headline number of deaths rather than comparing the risks of a dose of MDMA v a dose of alcohol.

Again contested but the risks of 'weed' to mental health are material, especially when started young and with stronger gear though some will argue use is a symptom of pre-existing problems rather than a cause of those problems.

I do find the hypocrisy about dietary purity and ethical purity amongst teens seem inconsistent in the slavery involved in domestic weed production, coercive smuggling and enslaved workers abroad. The gangs's drugs is usually part and parcel with trafficking and equivalent crimes.

I know the criminalisation and 'just say no' approaches have arguably failed but the normalisation of consumption of smuggled impure filth is innately risky even if part and parcel of that criminalised way of thinking.

I never did and I hope out kids don't either.

It very common these days though, not just teens but all ages who think it is normal. Lots of addicts in denial.

Decriminalising drugs isn't going to help 15 - 17 year olds as it is about helping people get off drugs rather than imprisoning them for a crime - it doesn't make drugs legal or safer.

Decriminalisation has worked in Portugal because they are not a soft touch but look to harm reduction - instead of being imprisoned you are ordered to get help. It doesn't mean everyone and anyone can freely go around buying and selling drugs as they are still illegal.

In Amsterdam and the Netherlands however, which is seen as a soft touch there are big problems with criminal gangs and the police are describing it as becoming a narco state.

I think people sometimes think that decriminalising drugs means legalising drugs and that the government will regulate their sale and make sure they are of a certain quality as is the case with weed in some places. That will never happen and there will never be access to 'safe' drugs for teenagers - they can't even legally buy cigarettes. A lot of festivals and clubs have some harm reduction in place though.

I think drugs are a big problem in inner cities, rich private schools and deprived areas particularly - but they are rife pretty much everywhere if you're in that particular crowd. Stating that MDMA is safer than alcohol may be correct if you know exactly what you are taking but of course you don't as you have no idea what it's been cut with. An article here,
drugpolicy.org/drug-facts/what-are-most-common-adulterants-whats-sold-molly-or-ecstasy-other-words-what-chemicals

It's very prevalent but I didn't really do it.

I 100000% wouldn't go down the "cool parent" route of safe dosages etc. There is no such thing, it's unregulated, and the one time I did take what I thought was MDMA it was actually some kind of unlicensed chemical that caused a horrible reaction.

Be firm and take a hard line that it's unacceptable. She may still experiment but at least not so much/it won't be taken that you tolerate it.

@Mamamia7962

No, neither of my children, who are now adults, did drugs in their teens.

Of course they didn’t I mean would they really tell you?!

I grew up in London and it’s so so easy to access drugs as a teenager, by 14 I was smoking weed, and by 15 I was trying other things. Drugs are everywhere, I remember going out in London when I was 19 to quite a exclusive nightclub and drugs were being done quite openly. DH also done quite a large amount when he was young. You unfortunately can’t shelter teenagers from it, you can only keep the channels of communication open so they trust you.

I thought drug taking was going down amongst young people? I personally would take everyone is doing it with a pinch of salt.

I know one person who has screwed up their life due to drugs. It was actually the scene, mud 90s dance clubs (Ministry of Sound, Cream etc.), they dedicated their life to that scene and screwed up their degree in the final year. They then had about another 15 years of barely holding down pretty basic jobs, while still taking a lot of drugs.

I don't think they have been to prison, but they have been arrested, they are now try to sort things out, but are now so far behind where they could have been.

NRTFT

My experience was the majority of teenagers did drugs when I was a teenager. I was very very much in the minority as in I was never ever interested even though I was surrounded my people who did them. On 2 separate occasions people thought they’d make the decision for me and my drinks were spiked, one I ended up in hospital, this was when I was living in London in my early 20s, I didn’t even know the guy, he took offence to me being the only one not on something at a party I’d gone to with friends. Coke was the main drug of choice of my friends at the time but I know they did other stuff. The other occasion I was 16 and it was actually my cousins who thought it would be fun to get me off my head with a trip, they panicked and called older cousins who looked after me when they realised how fucking stupid they had been. I never told my parents, I did tell my older DB who did plenty of drugs, he went ballistic and even now I don’t think he’s ever really forgiven them.

Most of my high school friends did drugs from about 14, it was a mix of council estate and middle class kids. One of my friends would get off her head every single week with her sister from yr 9 onwards, we were at the height of the rave scene. It always amazed me as their mum was the head of a drug unit for addicts and either she didn’t have a clue what was going on in her own home or she turned a blind eye to it as it was clear to everyone else they were always on something.

I don’t know if it was me, I tend to know my own mind and not easily swayed or if I was very luckily in my friends as they never put peer pressure on me, they all respected I wasnt interested. I was very happy with my bottle of diamond white. In fact I got more pressure and abuse from adults. I’ve worked in several environments where drug use was common and found myself having to defend my position or be mocked for not joining in.

Sadly drugs are very normalised regardless of class. In fact I found my more privileged friends did far more drugs than my less wealthy friends who just tended to do them when partying.

My oldest is almost 10 so I have a few years before it becomes a worry I hope, but even so I have already spoken to her about drugs, a situation presented itself where she asked questions so I answered. I believe it’s important to give facts when it come to things like this. I fully intend to have a full on conversation before she starts high school as these things definitely start young in some areas.

When I found out DS 17 was taking MDMA, coke and weed, I took him to a youth drug counselling service and involved social services.

I had dealers posting drugs through my letterbox so I sealed it up and installed cameras.

He dropped out of college without my knowledge.

I gave him an ultimatum. That he can live at home but must be drug free and he had to have a full time job by 18 and contributing. If not then he would have to look after himself.

Yes, harsh. But he's thanked me since and now has his own home with a mortgage with his wife (they're both 23), all their own hard work and savings and I couldn't be prouder of him. Of both of them.

I have absolutely no tolerance for drugs.

@Nomoreusernames1244

But this is like thinking that saying to younger / underage teenagers “don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant or get an STI and your life will be ruined” is going to prevent them from having sex

Bad analogy. Safe sex protects you from pregnancy and sti’s, but even if it doesn’t it can be dealt with. Highly unlikely you’ll end up in ITU on life support after sex, safe or otherwise.

You cannot take illegal drugs safely. You can take all the precautions in the world, but there’s still nothing to stop you ending up dead.

The analogy isn’t about the level of risk inherent in each activity, but that - just as with saying “don’t have sex” - we know young people don’t listen to adults saying “drugs are bad, they can kill you.” Because every young person will know friends or acquaintances who take drugs and don’t die. And because young people think they’re immortal. And because the internet exists, every young person nowadays can find information which is balanced about the harms of drugs.

So, just as with sex, the better path to take is to assume that your teen might take drugs (or have sex) and to give them the information (don’t mix drugs, don’t take drugs with alcohol, always get medical help if you feel unwell and don’t be afraid of getting into trouble for seeking help) which helps them do so more safely.

I’m 27 so wasn’t a teen that long ago and weed was the extent of what people I know did. I have always thought people who do ket are incredibly stupid given the well publicised deaths from it.

DS17 split up with his gf because of her drug use. He is really anti drugs and eventually realised her problems were not his to solve. It is a shame since she is a lovely girl when not on drugs.
I think I would do your research. Ketamine and cocaine are rife among DS’s school cohort, from your post they sound like the same (financially entitled ) type as your daughter and her friends. I’m not being judgemental but ketamine and cocaine are expensive.
Ketamine causes bladder problems and over use can result in a incontinence (permanent) and frequently the bladder has to be removed and permanent tube and bag externally. Not really a good look when you are in your 20s.
Cocaine often becomes ingested when used to excess this results in necrosis of the small bowel and again can lead to permanent colostomy.
Weed is a real issue in the immature brain and a number of psychotic conditions are related to its use as a young adult/teenager. And of course weight gain.
Although there isn’t a link to any of them leading to long term addiction to things like heroin it is the exposure and curiosity and also encouragement from dealers that may lead to trying heroin.
DS has been very open about what he has seen at parties. I do think that some of the parents are a little naive about their children.
My profession means that I have much more exposure to drug use in patients I see. Also training means you are more familiar with the signs than many of the yummy mummies I know. I’m just glad that DS is only really interested in alcohol, that I can relate to and deal with.

I’m nearly 30 and attended a middle class, all girls school in the 2000s. I can say confidently that the majority of girls (perhaps 70%) tried drugs at school age; maybe a third took them on a regular basis.

This thread is a bit like the cheating ones, lots of posters asserting their husband would never cheat and their child would never take drugs. But the whole point is secrecy so you wouldn’t know anyway.

When I was a teen pretty much everyone drank and maybe a third did drugs. My teens don't drink, smoke or do drugs. Most of their friends drink but don't smoke or do drugs (they know of a few who smoke weed but not their friends). Just doesn't seem such a big thing nowadays and they don't go out much like we did in the 1990s.

Might just be my kids though!