for getting fed up with people shutting down debate...

[SueBaroo]

... because they are offended?

It seems to be some unspoken rule nowadays that if someone doesn't agree with what is being said, instead of actually defending their position, they can just whine a bit about their feelings and guilt everyone into backing off?

It doesn't always work (especially on MN, with the high-proportion of marvellously ball-breaking opinionated folk) but it's a cheap trick and it winds me up. AIBU for wanting to tell people who try it to buck up? Should I be more squishy about feeeeeelings?

You've really upset me with this thread, you unfeeling bitch

Yeah, i'm offended too. Obviously i'm the most important person here and ive had more hard times than anyone else so i think we should end this debate right now.

Agree. With Sue, not lapin!

I broadly agree with you SueBaroo. It happened to me in real life recently and left me completely seething. I think if someone has fairly robust views about something, then they should expect (and frankly relish) some rather robust views in return. Instead this particular person whined (to other people, after the fact) about how offended she was by the discussion we'd had. Disingenuous to say the least.

AAAAHHHH! Thanks for providing my with the platform to finally get that off my chest

Some folk is just too farkin' precious imo.

I agree with you - there are sub-flounces from AIBU often. That's not a real-deal flounce, it's just a topic-specific flounce.

When someone posts "I am now actually in tears" or somesuch, after being disagreed with, I want to poke my monitor quite hard.

But I am heartless and cynical and unsympathetic this morning as I was kept up half the night by shagging neighbours, and I don't mean that in a good way.

Message withdrawn

You were shagging your neighbours?!

lapin - my secret santa gift has just been returned to me as the label got damaged in post and couldn't be read (thankfully I had a reply address on it). Can you email whoever my recipient was and apologise profusely, I will resend tomorrow. I'm so gutted they didn't get it for Xmas .

my neighbours were away for Xmas and New Year - no shaggin the neighbours for me [dull emoticon]

PMSL @ WT's 'not in a good way'.

Yes I agree.

Get a farkin grip.

polie polite FGS!

Sometimes when you post somethnig in jest someone will take it the wrong way and you just want to say 'oh bloody lighten up' but you know the guilt trip will go on and other people will come and say 'don't tell to lighten up, blah blah blah' and then you have to leave before you say something really offensive

agree totally. if people don't like the answers they will get then don't raise the issue.

and it especially baffles me on here as this is a website, so peple have the option to not read posts if the "debate" hasn't gone their way.

"in tears" do people actually cry about things they read on a website? really? or am I just a hard bitch

Why I'm Very Cross Today

Yes, I've known people in tears on here. From there, it descends to cries of 'playground bitches' and 'quiche/cleek/creak etc'

Ah, that's better.

Your description of the sex noises is most amusing.

I browsed through that thread looking out for someone telling you how nasty you were being to th eneighbours and that you should stop being such an auld cow.

But it is just pure sexy filth. You deceptor

I'm still giggling at 'you come too loudly'

Classic thread WT!

yeeeep... YEEEEEP!!!!

(Kewc, I will sort it, thanks for letting me know)

yes it is true, Sue, but the converse has also happened - if someone attacks quite viciously, and the attacked one dares to protest about a personal attack, then the attacker laughs "Crybaby"
God, it is sooo much like separating my children. just as well MummynetTowers is on hand to adjudicate.

But usually if someone is out of order, genuinely, then most people will defend the poor victim. Sorry about the word 'victim' i couldnt think of an alternative. I hate that word too. 'Victim' eugh!

Yes, but a vicious attack isn't the same as a strong opinion, and it's already covered in the MN 'no personal attacks' policy.

I can't believe you would all be so unpleasant about the sounds a woman makes when she is so vulnerable! Where is your sisterhood? You should encourage her uninhibited enjoyment, rather than trying to oppress her. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

(now, aren't you glad that's not MN policy? )

It's a bit like the accusations of bullying though, isn't it?

By accusing someone of being a bully, you are invalidating any protest they put up against the accusation. Protestations are met, from the active-aggressive posters, with "Well you're protesting so much you must be a bully" and from the passive-aggressive posters with "well, I feel^ bullied!"

People are using their feelings as a weapon, and it's not nice. I often feel distressed, depressed, miserable, joyous, angry and bemused. That's my deal, nobody else's, and certainly nobody here!

What really constitues being 'out of order' though?

Personal attacks, yes, but often someone will just be voicing their opinion and because someone else sees their opinion as offensive it becomes an insult and blah blah blah.

I've started posting on threads where my opinion is different from the majority only to stop posting because no-one will even consider my points, and just tell me I'm being offensive!

What kind of debate is that really?