To not want to travel 4+ hours with a newborn?

[aspiringsnd1981]

DC2 is due at the start of June, DPs family live 4 hours away, and have asked us to visit in late July/early August during the summer holidays. I'm not really comfortable with this as baby will only be 2 months old and that's if he comes on time and the journey will be longer.

Would others also say no?

Dont go if youre not comfortable doing so.

It’s totally up to you. I do think they should be coming to you if they can. But if they can’t it’s probably easier with a newborn than toddler!

If you don’t want to see them
Absolutely use as an excuse

However if I wanted to go, then yes I would have done. Just factor in at least 3 tips as they shouldn’t be upright for long

Stops

I’d say no both you have to travel that far and stay at someone’s with such a young baby; I find night wakings tricky in other peoples houses

4 hours wouldn't bother me at all but if you're not comfortable, or you think the baby won't be, just say no. You might want to wait and see nearer the time though.

I had to do it with a 6 week old with an event we couldn’t back out of and was the most stressful thing (new mum worries added) so my advice if you had the choice, no.

Of course you can say no. I have a 2 week old and have been told almost on a daily basis that people are coming over to visit the baby but I've just replied that I'm not ready for visitors. Do what's best for you and your newborn. 4 hours is a long time in a car and you'll have to get them out of the car seat every 30-45 minutes. It'll take you about 6/7 hours in total with stopping and feeding etc.

You can get flat baby seats now so don’t need to stop as often, really helps. We did a six hour trip to Cornwall with an 8 week old and it was fine. Much easier than the same trip with an 8 month old!!!

Stay home, explain that its all new to you and you don't know how breast feeding will go, sleepless nights etc so you'd rather not plan a trip thats going to possibly take 4/6 hours allowing for stopping to feed etc in the hight of summer, when ads will be busy

but they could visit and help out?

@thingymaboob

Of course you can say no. I have a 2 week old and have been told almost on a daily basis that people are coming over to visit the baby but I've just replied that I'm not ready for visitors. Do what's best for you and your newborn. 4 hours is a long time in a car and you'll have to get them out of the car seat every 30-45 minutes. It'll take you about 6/7 hours in total with stopping and feeding etc.

Any visitors?! Or just ones you don’t want to see?

add in that of course you don't know when inoculations does will be and hearing tests etc so its just timings really - inoculations Strat at 8 weeks and you don't choose the appointments they'll be sent through the post

We did a similar journey around the same time with both sets of grandparents. If you want to do the journey then it’s more than manageable.
Will they be coming to see the baby where you live first?
Would you want to travel 4 hours if it was your parents rather than in-laws?

Very easy to arrange jabs over the phone at a time that suits etc so that isn’t really a barrier.

I wouldn't do it. Babies that age are not supposed to be in car seat for longer than an hour at a time so with all of the stop offs it's going to takes ages. Then once you are there it's going to be stressful to do night feeds ets at someone else's house.

I don't even think you can make these decisions until baby has arrived as there are so many unpredictable bits, babies due date, how traumatic the birth is, what your recovery time will be, how well baby sleeps the list goes on.

You have to prioritize yourself and babies needs, not families desires.

@Toanewstart23 any visitors. I had a c-section and I suffered with post natal depression in my last pregnancy and have spent the last 2 weeks sleep deprived and tearful so not really up for seeing anyone yet until I've recovered mentally and physically a bit more.

We went on holiday about that distance to a cottage with ds2, ds1 and the gps around that age - it wasn't a hassle really and although it's same ol' same ol' when you've got a newborn, I really appreciated that my parents could take older dc out to have fun while dh & I caught up on a bit of sleep, plus the view was a lot nicer.

If you just don't fancy it though, for whatever reason, then of course it's fine to say no.

Send them links to local airb&bs and they can come stay near to you.
Road goes both ways you know!

I wouldn’t mind doing the journey, but I wouldn’t want to stay away from home with a baby that young.

[quote thingymaboob]@Toanewstart23 any visitors. I had a c-section and I suffered with post natal depression in my last pregnancy and have spent the last 2 weeks sleep deprived and tearful so not really up for seeing anyone yet until I've recovered mentally and physically a bit more. [/quote]
You poor thing

But a visitor you life and who loves you - might just be what you need

We had a lay flat car seat so I wouldn’t have minded the drive but would have minded not being in our own place (night wakings, breastfeeding, etc). But it’s your choice. If you mind the drive then don’t go.

Why can't they travel to see you? I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either.

I went with my 3 month old to my brothers wedding 20 years ago.

Baby would be absolutely fine.

But it sounds as if you just don’t want to go. So don't.

I did a 3 hour drive when dd1 was 10 days old to see her great grandparents and her great great grandmother ... we stopped once it was fine. Added bonus was we drove behind the Queen for over 40 minutes, police asked us to stop to let her out (from a plaque unveiling) in chatting spotted my newborn dd and asked where we were travelling too, told us her majesty was on the way to Windsor (we were heading to the motorway) and to follow the outriders!

We did this fairly regularly as my parents live 3.5 hours away. But we had a lie-flat car seat so no need to stop and she basically slept the whole way! So it was fine. Maybe just wait and see how you feel nearer the time? DD was a unicorn baby and immensely portable!

My baby hated the car seat until recently and I would have to stop several times to comfort her making even short journeys really stressful. Not all babies will sleep in the car so this could easily be a nightmare even without factoring in stops for baby to be stretched out. If you have a bad tear you may not be up for it yourself.