To get rid of DHs shirts?

[ShittyFingers]

DH is a shirt hoarder. He has stacks of them hung up in the wardrobe … they take up all the space. He doesn’t wear a shirt for work so they are literally just “going out” shirts … he never goes out either!!

I’d say he goes on a “shirt” night out maybe 3 times a year … once at Christmas and then maybe two evening outings (usually with me).

I’m trying to declutter, I’ve got rid of loads of my clothes and he said he’d do the same but never got around to it. A few weeks ago I took all the shirts out of the wardrobe and laid them on the bed for him to sort through (trying to help!!). He went up then reappeared saying he’d done it … he’d separated one and then put the rest back in the wardrobe!! Most of these shirts he hasn’t worn for years!

AIBU to just start getting rid of some to charity? He won’t even notice which ones have gone unless I tell him. His shirt collection takes up all the space in the double wardrobe.

We have money so it’s not like he needs to hang on to stuff for financial reasons.

@Mummy1608

I think you have got caught up in the excitement/frenzy of decluttering (been watching Marie kondo?)

Really, yabu and this is controlling behaviour.

Maybe he wants to wear them more often buy doesn't get opportunities for nice dates (pandemic, parenting). Maybe he likes looking at them. Whatever. They're his things and this is his home and it's not like they're scattered all over the room (except when you scatter them all over the bed).

Even Marie Kondo insists that you only declutter your own things, you can't just go chucking out things that belong to someone else.

dont throw other peoples stuff away without their permission and talking about it first even if it does take ages to narrow stuff down.

I am like that with my son he wont throw anything away from school but I sit down with him and we go thru it and he picks, I tell him he doesnt need everything for memories only a few things, that has reduced 6 carrier bags of school books and projects etc to 1 bag.

My OH had to go to the Home Office to get a piece of paper to say she could stay in the country. She called me to say they wanted a fax from me (it was a while ago) confirming that we planned to get married and that we were in a 'committed relationship'.

I sent one immediately.

"Dear Home Office,

This is to confirm that and I intend to get married in the summer.

Yes, we are in a committed relationship. This morning I discovered that my favourite denim jacket has gone to Oxfam, and I have sadly accepted that outcome. Relationships don't get much more committed than that.

Yours....."

--------

The Home Office regarded it as an acceptable expression of the solidity of our union - so someone up there lives in the real world.

You need separate wardrobes.

So if youndont have space in main bedroom then put a wardrobe in another room.

And either you or he uses the other wardrobe. Then you don't have anything to do with his clothes and vice versa

Put some on a case in the attic .... his least favourites...see if he misses them .if he doesnt you can send them to charity shop.

You can't get rid of someone's stuff but you can tell them that they are taking up more than their fair share of storage space and that they need to find somewhere else to put them. In your case deconstruct a few cardboard boxes and tape them together to create a temporary divider in the wardrobe. Then show him the problem - ie how far over to your side his stuff encroaches. The ask him to thin out what is in the wardrobe and find somewhere else to put his shirts. If you also have stuff that is very rarely worn put that elsewhere too.

Finally if your wardrobe is tall and only has one hanging rail think about adding a second half hanging rail on his side so that he can hang trousers below shirts and double up the rail space.

My DH collects T shirts, mostly freebies from sporting events. I started counting them one day and gave up at 100. When I fill a bag for charity, I always put a couple in, the most I got rid of in one go was 15 when I went to a clothes bank. He didn't notice.

@user1493494961

My DH collects T shirts, mostly freebies from sporting events. I started counting them one day and gave up at 100. When I fill a bag for charity, I always put a couple in, the most I got rid of in one go was 15 when I went to a clothes bank. He didn't notice.

I have over 70 tshirts and if anyone messed with em I would definitely notice

Vacuum bags are good for this kind of thing. Can be shoved under a bed or in the loft.