Is it normal to be so jealous of people who go on holiday all the time?

[RainyEnglandAgain]

Just that. Half term again and another year without a holiday, been 9 years and DD2 has never so much as been on a plane. DH and me work FT but both in NHS and lowish salaries. There’s never any money left for a overseas holiday and now fed the f—k up. Sick of seeing friends posts on Instagram or in chats about what fun they’re all having. All our bills have gone up and there’s no way we’ll have a holiday any time soon. Every time we do save, end up needing to replace an appliance or there’s a leak or something happens to the ancient car etc. AIBU? Or is this actually the norm and a lot of people just don’t go away. Need to delete social media probably and take myself off WhatsApp. DH not so affected by it and sees family time as the same whether at home or on holiday and doesn’t feel the burning need to go somewhere that I feel. Makes me feel even more unreasonable. Holidays at home as in literally at home never feel like a holiday.

Of course lots of people never go away, but with social media you get a constant stream of people posting their best things and for many that’s a holiday. Also, lots of people put holidays on credit cards. Social media view is not real world view.

Lots of people don't go abroad but it really depends on your peer circle. If your friends have more disposable income then yes it's going to be harder than if you're one of the better ones off.

Also are you sure they're all using savings not credit?

YANBU. A holiday abroad is a joy to have.

If I was in your boat, I honestly would take DD out of school for a week if that made it affordable to go. I say that as a primary school teacher- the family time will be invaluable as well as the experience of plane travel and going somewhere new.

Lots of the package providers can really help you spread the cost, and I would go all inclusive so you know how much you are spending.

the family time will be invaluable as well as the experience of plane travel and going somewhere new but people can do all that in the UK, it doesn't have to be abroad. OK two weeks in Torquay vs two weeks trekking Africa - incomparable. But lots of holidays will be beach, pool, all inclusive eating recognisable foods, kids club at this age, not absorbing the local culture, trying new foods and learning a language

Normal, yes. Healthy, no.

Can you do a UK house swap instead?

There are always things to be envious of, even rich people feel envy - he has a bigger yacht! She has a holiday house!

Op can you look at prices for the UK? Do you drive? Ferry prices for Ireland, Isle of Mann etc? If you go self catering your food costs won't be hugely bigger than normal, but make sure the workload is shared. Depending on the age of kids and what gifts they get, ask for holiday money as part of their presents to cover their spends.

@SleepingStandingUp

the family time will be invaluable as well as the experience of plane travel and going somewhere new but people can do all that in the UK, it doesn't have to be abroad. OK two weeks in Torquay vs two weeks trekking Africa - incomparable. But lots of holidays will be beach, pool, all inclusive eating recognisable foods, kids club at this age, not absorbing the local culture, trying new foods and learning a language

Staying in the UK doesn’t involve plane travel or the concept of ‘leaving the country’. It’s a nice experience to have as a child, especially when you’re going into your teens- even if you are going to an AI in Rhodes.

We go a few holidays a year but we shop around for very cheap caravan breaks, glamping and hotel deals. Can you put a little bit aside each month for a cheap break away? We prioritise holidays over other spending, I suppose it depends just how tight things are but it's we've done a week away for a couple of hundred pounds with the Haven deals.

Lots of people have massive debts to pay for holidays and cars etc. If you're comfortable with debt, crack on and book?

Of course it's perfectly normal.

Honestly, my priority is my holidays - the pandemic has been hell, I never want to be stuck in the UK ever again. Others will prioritise a bigger house (and much bigger mortgage..)

Some people are not bothered, plenty of posters hate going away, hate staying with friends, hate travelling, want to stay home - perfectly normal too!

I am jealous of people with family in amazing oversea locations (cheap holidays), with more time and money who can afford the best, it's human.

Lots of people will have things you don't have. Lots of people will have less than you have. That's life.

Remember what is on Facebook is usually what people want to show off about - it's not their life story.

Have a holiday I the UK - there are lots of interesting places with lots of reasonably priced activities about - hire a cabin, caravan or camp. It's never good to compare yourself to others who you think have more than you - recipe for disappointment.

My parents have about 6 abroad holidays a year (both retired and loaded) and one is always a 'once-in-a-life-time' sort of holiday.
I've not been on holiday in over 10 years and never been away with DH.

Sometimes I am burning with jealousy. I wish they would take us with them one time, but then on the other hand, they did both work very demanding jobs and earned all of their money themselves, so why wouldn't they enjoy it now that they can?! And I don't think they would want to holiday with us and we wouldn't with them either...

Doesn't stop me feeling jealous.

My 11 and 7 year old never been abroad. We love Scotland and england caravan holidays. 7 year doesnt want to go abroad but 11 year old does but we simply cant afford it. I'm not on Facebook came off because I was sick of seeing peoples holidays and the good parts of their lives,no one ever puts up their crap or boring days. I'll never put it back on feel so much happier.

It's a weird time, but pre-pandemic, it was generally easier to find a cheaper package holiday abroad than staying in the UK - which is very expensive, especially for what it is.

I'm not on Facebook came off because I was sick of seeing peoples holidays and the good parts of their lives,no one ever puts up their crap or boring days.

to be fair, the ones who do are accused to be drama llama or attention-seekers

Staying in the UK doesn’t involve plane travel getting a plane isn't a life skill. I managed to function perfectly well, get into a selective school, do well at exams, have lots of interests without getting on a plane until 17.

or the concept of ‘leaving the country’. assuming leaving the country means expanding someone's world view is quite simplistic. Ooh I went to Spain. Sat in the beach. Spoke English.
Ate at the English restaurant or ate chips and omelette from the AI. Played football at the kids club. It isn't all cultural enrichment.

It’s a nice experience to have as a child, especially when you’re going into your teens- even if you are going to an AI in Rhodes.* of course it's great experience, I'm not suggesting for a minute it isn't. But it isn't the be all to raising a child and I think sometimes people can get bogged down with whether something is showy enough.

If I stop to think about it, it really gets me down, on behalf of my dcs. The experiences they are missing out on in terms of travel just seems such a shame. But what can you do? We are the same, 2 x FT workers and altho we do go on holiday every year it's either camping or very basic SC. Normally not too far from home either. I wish I could do more for them.

It may not be possible, but I get around this by going away in Easter or May or October, not Summer. And I get a cheap ferry then train, or drive to somewhere like Northern France. Eurocamp can be very cheap.

DB and his family go away a couple of times a year, they earn more than we do (MOJ so also poor pay in comparison to a lot of private sector) , however I got into a conversation with SIL last week about energy prices etc and she told me they never save anything, she's in her overdraft every month and they also have credit card debt, that would make me very uncomfortable for a holiday.
Can you set aside a pot maybe pound coins or 50ps etc, over a year or two it's surprising how much it adds up, might be enough for a caravan break even in the UK.

I understand though. My sisters can afford return flights for their whole family and 2 weeks accommodation in tropical looking places like Greece. We will not be able to do that but we have done other things - like a cheap flight to a random Spanish town then a train to the coast. Booking.com for accommodation.

It’s normal. I was 24 before I went on a plane.

A lot of friends do house swap between Uk and France/Belgium/Netherlands which I think makes things more affordable.

I understand if it bothers you. I love going away and make it a priority. I go at least twice a year and always have fine. nearly all my friends go away a lot more than I do and I'm always incredibly jealous of all their trips. Many of my friends work for BA and Virgin, so are always away.

Is anything that you can do to change your priorities so that you can save just a little bit every month to save up for a holiday. You can get very cheap flights and a cheap air bnb to go to most European capitals.

We haven’t been on holiday for four years a combination of a sick dog caring for my dad money worries and the pandemic has saw to that and it’s a bit shit when you work FT . YANBU

No, I think jealousy is an awful emotion, it eats away at people and achieves nothing. There are always people who do more and have more than us but they still face difficulties of one sort or another at times, that's life.

Years ago we couldn't afford much in the way of holidays and were hard up. We survived, I never grudged anyone else doing things that we couldn't. It didn't last forever but was tough at the time, however it was my/our 'problem', no-one else's.

Nobody goes away on holiday 'all the time'. If people can afford to go away frequently, why not if they are decent people; good luck to them.