Is it normal to be so jealous of people who go on holiday all the time?

[RainyEnglandAgain]

Just that. Half term again and another year without a holiday, been 9 years and DD2 has never so much as been on a plane. DH and me work FT but both in NHS and lowish salaries. There’s never any money left for a overseas holiday and now fed the f—k up. Sick of seeing friends posts on Instagram or in chats about what fun they’re all having. All our bills have gone up and there’s no way we’ll have a holiday any time soon. Every time we do save, end up needing to replace an appliance or there’s a leak or something happens to the ancient car etc. AIBU? Or is this actually the norm and a lot of people just don’t go away. Need to delete social media probably and take myself off WhatsApp. DH not so affected by it and sees family time as the same whether at home or on holiday and doesn’t feel the burning need to go somewhere that I feel. Makes me feel even more unreasonable. Holidays at home as in literally at home never feel like a holiday.

Oh dear I really do feel for you .
Same situation when our kids were young. I remember my brother etc going on package holidays and me thinking they must be cheaper than I'm finding them. But they weren't!
It does get better as you get older small consolation I know.
And as an NHS worker you can get a blue light card which dues give some discounts.
A work colleague also told me Jet2 gave her a really generous NHS discount as well !!

While some people can afford it: they may prioritise holidays over tv packages for example or by second hand clothes/house items, no meals out or takeaways so they can afford it. Then again some will use credit/overdrafts to do things and pay it back later. Live for now kind of attitude. Pay later!

You are not being unreasonable to feel jealous when you work hard and have nothing to show for it for enjoyment purposes. I didn’t go on holiday as a kid until we were a bit more stable income wise about 9/10 yr old and I didn’t go abroad til I was 14. I survived as did my siblings.

Finances are going to be squeezed in the upcoming years for everyone but if you wanted to you could try some extra ways of saving like saving £1/50p in a jar or round up in your bank account to the nearest £1 and put in savings. Plenty of ideas online Save for longer if you manage to do uk holidays to go abroad. To be fair some abroad holidays can be done cheaper than U.K. trips I’m sure. Camping etc. but I suppose your jealous thoughts are more the resorts/beaches/all inclusive type hols.

Ahh, just thought, you probably don't have valid passports. That would be a big additional cost.
Anyway, point still stands. Maybe don't set your heart on a big summer holidays, just see somewhere cheap and grab that.
And appreciate, lots of people won't even have £10 spare never mind £100.

I'm so angry on your behalf. People should not be so poor in the UK.

Some people are not bothered, plenty of posters hate going away, hate staying with friends, hate travelling, want to stay home - perfectly normal too!

Absolutely this. I didn't leave the country till I was 18 (and then it was as an au pair), and had barely left my home county before that -- we had precisely two holidays during my childhood, both of them within 40 miles of home, both of them total disasters (tiny caravan, terrible weather, lack of research meaning that for some reason my parents randomly chose a B and B that was cheap because it was in the middle of nowhere and there was nothing to do at all except sit and look at the rain.) My parents hate breaking their routine, and have only ever left the country if we bought them flights to come and visit us where we were living, picked them up at the airport and made sure they didn't have to encounter any foreignness.

However, DH and I made up for it by travelling a fair bit on the cheap in our student years, on work abroad visas, and as we studied at very international universities outside our home country, we have friends from all over, so holidays often involve house swaps or staying with people and that cuts costs. And as we had DS in another country, he took his first flight almost as soon as he got his first passport, at a few months old -- and in fact he'd been in France, Italy, Hungary, Spain, Switzerland and probably some others by the time he went to pre-school. (Most he has no memory of.)

I do take him out of school for a day or two at times to visit friends overseas on cheap flights.

Social media is just an edited version that people want to portray to the outside world. If you really want to go on holiday, putting aside small amounts of money to save might help. Keep an eye out for holiday packages and find out about their financial plan as there are some places you could book a year in advance. Alternatively, there are lovely staycations or cottages you could stay in when the weather is nice without breaking the bank. One of my family members goes on multiple fancy holidays every year, but I know they pay towards the holidays in instalments and book way ahead in advance. It’s the only way the can afford multiple holidays, but you won’t know that from their rather public social media pages.

I’m frankly jealous of anyone going anywhere at the moment we can afford to go somewhere nice but GCSE year plus geriatric dog who can’t be left and also travels badly plus DH waiting surgery = no flipping chance

Could you set up a holiday account and as a family try and raise some extra cash specifically to put in this extra account?

Do a boot sale, declutter on Facebook, do some surveys, sell old phones, change bank account etc? Try and get the dc and DH involved and see how much extra you can raise and then as other posters have said get a cheap deal outside of school holidays?

If the whole family pulls together it might be a fun challenge and if you could make cut backs because you are going away, then it doesn’t seem quite so bad.

OP it isn't clear if you're really wanting reassurance that a lot of people are in the same boat as you - they are - or that you want a way of affording a holiday?

I think a lot of people who can will prioritise holidays but it's always worth remembering that people only post the good stuff. Who knows what they went without or debt they got into for their holiday, or what else is going on.
I know a lot of couples who post the most amazing holiday pics but then complain they spent the whole time arguing.

If a holiday is truly out of your reach, step away from social media and look at things you can do to enjoy your time off - days out, camping, friends or family you could visit etc.

If you want cheap holiday options, I would look at flights within the UK. If you book early enough they can be quite cheap (and less risk with COVID) with the additional plus sides of being just as exciting but short for a child whose never flown before. Then I'd look at air b&b apartments so you can do self catering and reduce costs, with the odd treat meal out (if you have Tesco club card points you can exchange them to help with this).
I'm married to a teacher so we have to do term time holidays only and that's rubbish. Not sure where you're based but Scotland sometimes have different term dates to England and Wales so you could potentially fly there and avoid some of the unfair price hike.

Fuel will become so expensive no one but the absolute rich will be able to fly,...was it Steve Jobs who said that? probably right.

Yes I'm with you, I'm currently looking at lots of people I know who have gone skiing or on other foreign holidays for half term. We have a static caravan in France booked for the summer but it doesn't feel special enough for what will possibly be dd1s last summer away with us 😢

We are not broke but have lots of things that we need the money for, mostly house stuff that does really need doing. DH doesn't prioritise holidays at all but I would like to prioritise them a bit more.

I do go on occasional nice holidays but I have no savings and do not own my own home. On social media it probably looks like I am more well off than I am. I prioritise holidays because I want things to look forward to when I work full time. Interestingly though, the holiday my DD talks about having enjoyed the most was a cheap few days away to a b&b in Clacton on Sea. It was a very non fancy holiday but the beach was nice and quiet, the pier was fun and the vibe was very relaxing. I genuinely think she enjoyed that more than the 5 star hotel type holidays we have also been on. You definitely don’t need to spend a lot to make nice memories for your children.

I think it depends on what you prioritise.

The thing is it isn't everybody, but social media gives you a skewed view. We are very fortunate to have a comfortable income, but my kids, almost adults, have only flown a couple of times, and have only been to about 3 countries, all in Europe. They are lucky to have had that, but compared with some of their friends it seems a bit rubbish and it makes me feel guilty. It's all about what you prioritise, and how much risk you're prepared to take. We've never felt particularly secure financially because of job insecurity etc, so we don't spend large amounts on holidays, and we don't have any debt. But other people on similar incomes will take the risk to use credit cards and not have savings, so they can have flashy holidays.

Surely you can afford to go somewhere in UK? Just start cutting back on other things and save a bit each month?

My eldest has been on a plane for a school trip but my younger two haven't. However we have camping or glamping holidays in the UK or France every year. To be honest France is often cheaper - we use Tesco points for the shuttle crossing. No Hillary anywhere for 9 years does seem a bit unusual for your situation as you describe it.

I don't like some of the superior tones on here either about eating chips in Spain. Ok so some people might do that but so what? It's their holiday. well we only make it to Wales so def not superior
My point is "ooh we take the children abroad every school break" doesn't actually mean those kids have a better life, more life experience, will succeed in life, will be more rounded. Nothing wrong with chips in Spain from the cafe Dave from Derby opened, but it doesn't make you superior to someone who's never been abroad.