Is it normal to be so jealous of people who go on holiday all the time?

[RainyEnglandAgain]

Just that. Half term again and another year without a holiday, been 9 years and DD2 has never so much as been on a plane. DH and me work FT but both in NHS and lowish salaries. There’s never any money left for a overseas holiday and now fed the f—k up. Sick of seeing friends posts on Instagram or in chats about what fun they’re all having. All our bills have gone up and there’s no way we’ll have a holiday any time soon. Every time we do save, end up needing to replace an appliance or there’s a leak or something happens to the ancient car etc. AIBU? Or is this actually the norm and a lot of people just don’t go away. Need to delete social media probably and take myself off WhatsApp. DH not so affected by it and sees family time as the same whether at home or on holiday and doesn’t feel the burning need to go somewhere that I feel. Makes me feel even more unreasonable. Holidays at home as in literally at home never feel like a holiday.

My parents have about 6 abroad holidays a year (both retired and loaded) and one is always a 'once-in-a-life-time' sort of holiday.
I've not been on holiday in over 10 years and never been away with DH.

I honestly cannot understand parents who wouldn't gift their child at least ONE holiday, even if it means going one time less themselves.

I am hoping I won't have to do it for my kids so I don't have to sacrifice my own trips but I genuinely couldn't go away half a dozen time a year if my kids can't afford a holiday in years.

The last time I went on holiday was 1999 - from the Uk to Ireland, and during the holiday we ended up buying a house and moving here. I've never felt the need to go anywhere since. Thinking about it, my 6 closest friends haven't been anywhere in the last 10 years, either - maybe it's birds of a feather flocking together (or failing to flock, in our case!), but I think there are quite a few people who don't have holidays on their wish lists. My friends vary in age from mid 20s to mid 60s, so it's not an age thing, either.

I'd much rather spend the money on my home, or nice food, or a new electric bike, that sort of thing. Each to their own, I've done plenty of holidays prior to 1999 - just not keen on hot weather, nor can I be bothered with the kerfuffle of packing and travelling.

Flights are cheaper, the earlier that you book. We used to book, sometimes 8 or 6 months in advance.

All holidays are cheaper if you avoid all schools holiday times; xmas, Easter, summer holidays, half terms

You need a one stroke policy on social media. They make you feel crap, you unfollow them.

One strike!

My kids have never been on a plane but I do like holidays... however low budget!
Do you do anything? I've booked premier inns in fantastic locations for £30 a night. I use Tesco vouchers for a meal out while we are there.
I booked a haven caravan for the jubilee weekend for£120 for four. It's a basic caravan but kids love the pool and beach.
We are camping in Highlands in summer for£80 for the week.
You do have to be organised but you can do it on a budget. Okay it's not a five star beach resort but we have good fun and a change of scenery.
And try to remember they still probably fall out in the airport, sit in a hotel room trying to get overtired kids to sleep etc.... whatever their polished social media version shows

YANBU but comparison is literally the thief of joy. Social Media is bullshit. No one ever posts on FB that their husband is shagging his secretary and this holiday is his way of “making up for it” or that they’ve stuck the whole thing on a credit card and they’ve no idea how they’ll pay it off. You will be better off than a lot of people, you will be worse off than a lot of people. It’s just life.

@worldvisa

My parents have about 6 abroad holidays a year (both retired and loaded) and one is always a 'once-in-a-life-time' sort of holiday. I've not been on holiday in over 10 years and never been away with DH.

I honestly cannot understand parents who wouldn't gift their child at least ONE holiday, even if it means going one time less themselves.

I am hoping I won't have to do it for my kids so I don't have to sacrifice my own trips but I genuinely couldn't go away half a dozen time a year if my kids can't afford a holiday in years.

They're really funny with money and gifts. They would never send us on holiday for example but happily provide us with free childcare for the past 5 years, happily helped up renovate our house (dad is very much a DIY handyman) and have driven over 200 miles to pick us up when we accidentally missed our train and couldn't afford new tickets.

Would be nice if they also give us one of their holidays though

Ive never taken the kids on a plane. 2 have been on trips abroad with school. Youngest will get his chance in the next 2 years.

Not easy when you have a small holding. We go for breaks in the UK. Weekends or4 days. Hours from home.

Doesn’t mean anyone is losing out. Holidays are expensive.

You can put anything on a card,

It's hard seeing people have holidays when you haven't had one for years. It's perfectly natural ro want that.

We've had some lovely self-catering holidays on some lovely caravan sites. Have you taken a look at owners direct . Com they are cheaper than booking with the site company and some are on the south of France, a two week holiday in France cost us less than two weeks in Devon. And we spent less as we played in the pool the whole time.

How old is DD?
I know it isn't abroad but we are going to Butlins! for 4 nights, the week after half term for just £300 including breakfast and dinner!

I understand. I havent been on a real vacation in over 10 years. Makes me sad but I guess that's just life for some people like me.

@Ohdoleavemealone

How old is DD? I know it isn't abroad but we are going to Butlins! for 4 nights, the week after half term for just £300 including breakfast and dinner!

300£ bargain.

Could you reprioritise something else eg tv subs takeaway so you can have a holiday even once every few years. I agree with the poster who said it is a nice experience to have especially in a child's teens.

We have a holiday abroad every few years. The years we don't go abroad, we go to a hotel for a long weekend, and call it 'our summer holiday'. Outside of this we never have drinks nights out. A lot of people wouldn't like to cut back to this extent, just for a holiday. When I was a child, and even now,people with similar backgrounds just don't do holidays. They take 2 weeks off work and go for days out.

I know some people would prefer to spend the money on the house and never go away. I am not one of them and I suspect you are not either.

If you go to eg Spain in term time it need not be quite so expensive. Even thinking about it and booking it can give you a lift.

Try not to be jealous, keep away from mentions of hols. A lot of women at dcs sports only work part time and have a hol abroad every year. I keep to myself while not being rude. It is nice to know a holiday is coming even if it is every few years.

Its shit not being able to afford holidays and don't let anyone say it isn't. I've taken on a second job to be able to afford a week away. I'll happily work myself into the ground for some sunshine. A UK holiday just doesn't cut it.
I don't like some of the superior tones on here either about eating chips in Spain. Ok so some people might do that but so what? It's their holiday.

I know exactly what you mean. I think I am a fair bit poorer than my friends. Before I had to reduce my hours at work we were comfortable, but had never gone abroad, tbh I think because of my own fears, and now there’s no money. I wish I’d gone ‘sod it’ and just gone a few years ago. I have some friends who left London over the years, and we do house swaps with each other for a week sometimes in the holidays, so we get to have a holiday in the UK and they get a free stay in London. Is that sort of arrangement maybe possible for you? I know it’s not the same as a paid for holiday, but it means no need for expensive meals out, and leaves a bit of money for out I he and icecreams etc.

I’m one of those people going on frequent holidays. I hope you don’t begrudge me it. I spent my childhood having no holidays or just the odd UK break. I’ve worked stupidly hard, going on holiday is now my “thing”. We never have takeaways, don’t drink much, don’t have huge cars.. but we do holiday

I never got on a plane until I was 20. We go away every year to like a haven type holiday. Wouldn't that sort of thing be doable and fun for the kids

Not unreasonable at all to be envious, that sounds tough. Will your children have a chance to travel with school? I remember (long time ago) a lot of my schoolmates hadn’t flown until we went to France on an exchange. Might also be an opportunity for the school to part fund them.

@Suprima

YANBU. A holiday abroad is a joy to have.

If I was in your boat, I honestly would take DD out of school for a week if that made it affordable to go. I say that as a primary school teacher- the family time will be invaluable as well as the experience of plane travel and going somewhere new.

Lots of the package providers can really help you spread the cost, and I would go all inclusive so you know how much you are spending.

Possibly an unpopular view but I totally agree with this.

Totally agree with @Suprima as well

We had 4 years when ours were small that we didn't go abroad .....itcalways felt shit though

Time will come, soon I hope, where numerous holidays abroad will be seen as socially unacceptable because of the climate emergency - I say that as someone who loves travel and holidays. I’m all for flight rationing. Won’t miss people’s smug social media posts

I'm taking my 13 year old daughter away on a European city break for two nights at half term. Flights on Ryanair cost £29 return for both of us, two nights hotel on booking.com £64. That under £100. Husband is driving us to airport, public transport other end. Can you do something like that? I reckon our two nights away will cost about £200 including spending money.
Check skyscanner.