To keep my friend's secrets?

[curiousturtle17]

I've been with DH for 15 years and met my best friend (let's call her R) 3 years ago. He likes her and is happy I've found such a good friend.

R and I have a running joke about 'the vault' which is how we refer to the things that are private discussions between us. She's a private person but completely open with me as she trusts me completely.

DH is aware there are things I don't tell him about her and he's started to take it personally. R split from her DH last year in really traumatic circumstances. DH knows the basics of what happened but not the details as I know she doesn't want anyone to know. He's said that I shouldn't be keeping any secrets from him but I've stressed they're not my secrets to keep.

In the same vein, I wouldn't discuss any of DH's personal issues with her and I've told him this.

YABU- you should tell your DH absolutely everything about your life and the people in it.
YANBU- your friends problems are not his business and she should be able to confide in you.

As long as your H is actually just mildly nosy, he may accept that it's not his business and back off. If he doesn't, then you may well have a marital problem of your own to address.

@teleskopregel

I believe this depends on your relationship with your DP.

My DP gives great advice and keeps confidences so well. I have learnt from him, in fact. If i have been told somethibg in confidence, and it is troubling me, then i tell him. However, DP tries to respect my boundaries, and if I said I didn't feel right telling him, he would accept it, and vice versa.

@teleskopregel your DP may well offer wise advice, but you have no business sharing your friends' confidences with him

Absolutely none of his business.

I would fine him being so nosey deeply unattractive.

Very old woman ish.

Ick.