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AIBU?

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Original poster

Designated shitty valentines day thread?

65 replies

Starcrossed2 · 14/02/2022 08:49

Thought it would be fun (or laughingly depressing) to have a thread for venting off our disappointments.

I'll go first, dh presented me with a card yesterday and said 'here you go, open it. It's 50/50 which way you'll take it'

Opened the card and it was a picture of a lateral flow test saying I tested positive for loving you. He knows how anxious covid has made me being vulnerable, and my mum cev. Weird choice but I can sort of see the funny side.

Cue today I give him his nice sweet card and ask if he got me a nice one? Nope.
Any flowers? Cheap box of chocolate? Nope.
Said he didn't have time. He didn't start work until 1 yesterday and spent the morning lounging around. He could have left 10 mins earlier and popped into the coop.

I know valentines is a hallmark holiday but there is also a social expectation to it. I almost feel embarrassed that when I speak to my mum later and she asks what he got me, it'll be a card that he gave me a day early.

OP posts:
Original poster
Starcrossed2 · 14/02/2022 09:24

OK points taken about the card. I am very sensitive about covid and guess I'm not at the point where I can see the funny side yet.

@TheSoapyFrog it's the inequality isn't it. And also the drop in effort.

I think I do want a moan, don't want to have a bad atmosphere with both dc around

OP posts:
Laiste · 14/02/2022 09:24

@FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman today is the first step towards your better life then :)

SartresSoul · 14/02/2022 09:25

I would have liked the card personally but suppose everyone is different. I got DH a card with Putin on it which says ‘thanks for Putin up with me, I promise not to poison you’.

SparklingLime · 14/02/2022 09:25

You’ll get so many posters just looking for someone to criticise on AIBU, OP. It’s the worst place to post if there is a MH component. Flowers

Cheekypeach · 14/02/2022 09:27

@SparklingLime

How you can write that in direct response to the OP saying how bad her mental health has been, I don’t know, *@Cheekypeach*. Wanna be ‘cool girl’ failing, I guess?
Because the card was not at all offensive. It would be if it said ‘roses are red, violets are blue, I have covid and now so do you’ or something.
Ireolu · 14/02/2022 09:28

I ordered DHs chocolate bar yesterday and scrimmed on the gift packaging and I told him. Shd arrive today at some point. He got me nothing as expected and I am fine with that :)

thecatsthecats · 14/02/2022 09:30

Can I nominate myself?

He bought a card in plenty of time. I made one yesterday. It's not my finest work.

And one cat is mad because we both chose to buy/make cards with cats that look like the other one.

Eycaluptus · 14/02/2022 09:34

I walked in on my husband having a wank.

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 14/02/2022 09:37

@Starcrossed2 I can understand that completely, with relation to my ex, and I’m sorry it’s upset you. It’s very hard when you have different expectations and would like to have a little bit of a fuss made, even more so if it’s just once a year. I think your tip of the iceberg comment is probably spot on, and even though we all know really that Valentine’s Day is an exercise in marketing and consumerism, it’s still nice to think that you’re thought of with love, even more so if you not getting that the rest of the year, either. Hope you’re ok x

crabappleof · 14/02/2022 09:40

@Eycaluptus

I walked in on my husband having a wank.
This has to be the funniest post of the year so far.
bloodywhitecat · 14/02/2022 09:42

It's a bittersweet Valentine's Day for me, it will be our last as DH won't be here for our first wedding anniversary in May much less next Valentine's Day. We won't be going out and he can't get me a card, he can't even tell me he loves me (but I know he does). Cancer is a bastard.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/02/2022 09:45

I think that card is very funny Grin

mUserBot9to5 · 14/02/2022 09:47

I thought that was funny. ''tested positive for loving you''. That's funny and what you want to hear?

I think VD is such a pile of shit. I said to my last xbf that I wanted him to be nice to me EVERY day (which he was). i had such bad memories of crappy shitty men doing something 'nice' once a year.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 14/02/2022 09:47

I hate to be "that poster" so quick disclaimer.....I'm full of sympathy, genuinely, for the disappointed on any scale and Flowers to all.

I will also mention I'm a vintage Goth with dark sense of humour being used as armour and I apologise in advance if anyone feels this is inappropriate and I promise no-one hates misery top trumps more than me.

But my Valentibes Day is shitty because......my DP of 11 years died suddenly in January......yup, devastated, but bear with me.....

His birthday is Valentines Day, he was a body piercer, so his trade was making holes....by some cosmic joke today is the only day I can meet with the nice council man to view prospective plots for his final resting place.....so it feels like the ultimate irony that I'm essentially giving him a hole for his birthday.....very Gothic and romantic but not what I ever expected.

Got lots of support around me and will be raising a glass with a few friends tonight at a local hostelry.

Love comes in many forms - and I send it to everyone.....

This is definitely chapter 666 in my life book of "You couldn't make this shit up" ......

emsmar · 14/02/2022 09:47

@bloodywhitecat

It's a bittersweet Valentine's Day for me, it will be our last as DH won't be here for our first wedding anniversary in May much less next Valentine's Day. We won't be going out and he can't get me a card, he can't even tell me he loves me (but I know he does). Cancer is a bastard.
❤️
crabappleof · 14/02/2022 09:48

@bloodywhitecat

It's a bittersweet Valentine's Day for me, it will be our last as DH won't be here for our first wedding anniversary in May much less next Valentine's Day. We won't be going out and he can't get me a card, he can't even tell me he loves me (but I know he does). Cancer is a bastard.
Flowers
SmellyOldOwls · 14/02/2022 09:52

@Eycaluptus

I walked in on my husband having a wank.
Roses are red Violets are blue He had a wank And now so should you
MistressoftheDarkSide · 14/02/2022 09:54

@bloodywhitecat

Xxxxxxx

SummerHouse · 14/02/2022 10:03

@mistressoftheDarkSide you are a legend and he was lucky to have you. I hope you find him a lovely hole Smile. Stay strong and keep up that amazing outlook that has no doubt got you through this far. Flowers for you.

Flickflak · 14/02/2022 10:03

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 14/02/2022 10:05

He left for work without so much as a mention, no card left or anything. TBF he might have something planned this evening but I've not got my hopes up and am ready to stash his gift back away for his birthday.

ClaraTheCelebrityPachyderm · 14/02/2022 10:12

Married 35 years and we still do cards, except I've given DH the same card for years and he's never cottoned on. I think this is year 9 for this card!

💐 For those missing loved ones today.

bloodywhitecat · 14/02/2022 10:15

@MistressoftheDarkSide

I hate to be "that poster" so quick disclaimer.....I'm full of sympathy, genuinely, for the disappointed on any scale and Flowers to all.

I will also mention I'm a vintage Goth with dark sense of humour being used as armour and I apologise in advance if anyone feels this is inappropriate and I promise no-one hates misery top trumps more than me.

But my Valentibes Day is shitty because......my DP of 11 years died suddenly in January......yup, devastated, but bear with me.....

His birthday is Valentines Day, he was a body piercer, so his trade was making holes....by some cosmic joke today is the only day I can meet with the nice council man to view prospective plots for his final resting place.....so it feels like the ultimate irony that I'm essentially giving him a hole for his birthday.....very Gothic and romantic but not what I ever expected.

Got lots of support around me and will be raising a glass with a few friends tonight at a local hostelry.

Love comes in many forms - and I send it to everyone.....

This is definitely chapter 666 in my life book of "You couldn't make this shit up" ......

You sound like a wonderful partner, sending strength your way. I may join you tonight in raising a glass, I haven't had a drop since he came home post massive stroke (yes, I get that "You couldn't make this shit up" thing as he's also broken his leg falling off his bed) in Dec and I feel tonight might be the night for a gin.
VelvetChairGirl · 14/02/2022 10:17

I got noting because I am single, you got a card so why complain?

GoodMuse · 14/02/2022 10:21

I get it op. If things aren't going well in your relationship in general, a shit present / card can really sting.

I remember dh and me having a rocky patch, a few years ago. He got me such an ugly card one birthday, with a gross little cartoon couple in bed on the front. It said something like "I'm still not tired of you" or something and he'd added "and I never will", which in hindsight was quite sweet, but it was just so off base I just thought he didn't know me at all. He also got me a charm for a Pandora charm bracelet (I don't have and have never had a Pandora charm bracelet or anything from there Confused. It's still in my jewellery box, untouched).

It's funny now and we are much, much better and tbh, my own MH probably was a factor in how I reacted to it, but I have had to be quite lighthearted-ly blunt about ugly cartoon things he has bought me since as I just don't like them! He is equally blunt about presents and always has been, so I've had to stop people pleasing and saying everything is lovely when I don't like it and actually it's been much better for us.

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