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AIBU?

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Original poster

Katherine Ryan reckons her eight month old is toilet trained

220 replies

WheelieBinPrincess · 13/02/2022 15:31

Now, if I held my baby over the loo for a couple of hours for want of something better to do on a rainy Sunday, I reckon eventually he’d use it. I could then clap and proclaim I had started toilet training Hmm

AIBU to think she’s off her rocker? Apparently, putting your baby in a nappy means you are teaching them to always go in a nappy.

I know she has a nanny to deal with all this as well, who Im sure rolls her eyes at the proclamation that her baby is fully potty trained at 8mo.

Reminds me of a friend of mine who claimed her newborn learnt to use a hand signal for hunger from day 2 or 3 so she didn’t need to cry. She was apparently fluent in baby sign from two months old.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 13/02/2022 17:57

@LivesinLondon2000

Does come across as unbearably smug - I assume she just wanted to create a bit of controversy. No doubt he’ll be teaching himself Ancient Greek by 18 months.

And anyway no 8 month old is potty trained in that he’s not walking over to the potty himself. He’s just communicating that he needs to go and is lucky enough in that she or her husband (and not a babysitter/nursery staff who might not interpret the cues correctly) are there 24/7 to respond. Good for them - but hardly worth boasting about 🤷‍♀️

Is she boasting? Or is she just sharing an interesting point about parenting?
CecilyP · 13/02/2022 17:58

DD1 couldn't even sit reliably until.about nine months so I couldn't have put her on a potty.

Mums didn’t just sit babies on potties, they sort of had the potty on their lap and held the baby on it.

Timeturnerplease · 13/02/2022 18:01

MIL looked after DD1 four days a week from 9mo. She parented in the 70s with terry towelling nappies, which she hated, so she always put DD1 on the loo after every meal/drink/snack and read stories for her. Praised her if a wee or poo arrived but that was it.

I thought she was loopy personally, but I have to say that DD1 was potty trained VERY easily before she was 2 so maybe there’s something in these methods…

Jvg33 · 13/02/2022 18:01

Gosh op you have been slated for some sort of type of communication. You don't deserve it. You are a mother too.

Upset65799 · 13/02/2022 18:03

I really like Kathryn Ryan, I listen to her podcast and I've read her book. I doubt she's boasting tbh, she comes off quite self aware imo. I knew she'd done elimination communication with Violet, and whenever she's mentioned it it's not done in a boasty way, just in a "this is what worked for us, but it doesn't mean it's going to work for you" way. She is opinionated and honest, and doesn't pull her punches, which some people don't like so I'm not surprised she's getting stick.

Original poster
WheelieBinPrincess · 13/02/2022 18:04

@Jvg33

Gosh op you have been slated for some sort of type of communication. You don't deserve it. You are a mother too.
Well, you never know which way the tide goes on this site sometimes! Another day, probably get different responses 😂
OP posts:
MrsColinRobinson · 13/02/2022 18:04

I think she's full of shit in general, so presumably now also has it over the sofa, carpets, cot.

Of course it's not potty trained at eight months.

Pure publicity stunt needed to keep remarkably unfunny comedian in the news.

Georgeskitchen · 13/02/2022 18:05

@CecilyP

Other mammal babies don't soil themselves, its their instinct NOT to do that and its the same for babies if we let them use that instinct.

Other mammals tend to be able to stand up soon after birth, so getting themselves to somewhere they can go does not depend on anyone else. That and the fact they don’t wear clothes!

And neither do they use bathrooms......they just piss and shit wherever and whenever they need to 🤣🤣
Original poster
WheelieBinPrincess · 13/02/2022 18:05

She has at least one full time nanny so it would be interesting to know how much dangling over a potty or cleaning up a carpet of wee she’s undertaking herself in order to make these claims.

OP posts:
HauntedDishcloth · 13/02/2022 18:05

You can get porta-potties for conventional toilet training which we would take out & about with us. They fold flat to about the size of a dinner plate and can also be used as a toilet seat booster thing. Make sure to get a preloved one for extra smug points Grin

linchinton · 13/02/2022 18:08

@WheelieBinPrincess

Okay fine, I didn’t mean it to be sneery actually although I do think KR can be a bit strange.

She doesn’t mention elimination communication.

Yes I realise nappies are definitely a luxury, however not everyone would use or have access to disposable ones so I presume they’d wash out clothes nappies.

The journalist didn't mention it?

I assume KP didn't actually wire the article (i can't be arsed to clink the link)

CecilyP · 13/02/2022 18:09

And neither do they use bathrooms......they just piss and shit wherever and whenever they need to 🤣🤣

Yes I thought that after I posted. I often go walking with dog owners and they’re forever chasing after their pets with those little green poo bags!

BoredZelda · 13/02/2022 18:11

She has at least one full time nanny so it would be interesting to know how much dangling over a potty or cleaning up a carpet of wee she’s undertaking herself in order to make these claims.

Yeah, how dare she, as a working mother, engage the best childcare she can afford for her children.

bellocchild · 13/02/2022 18:12

I thought training this early was highly unlikely, but my mil pointed out that if you used cloth nappies with no plastic pants and had to boil them on the stove, as her generation did, you would make every effort to get them onto a potty at the earliest opportunity! Particularly in winter when the nappies would have to dry indoors without central heating radiators or tumble dryers. Even worse, all those little smocked Viyella dresses had to be washed, dried, and ironed...

Original poster
WheelieBinPrincess · 13/02/2022 18:13

@BoredZelda

She has at least one full time nanny so it would be interesting to know how much dangling over a potty or cleaning up a carpet of wee she’s undertaking herself in order to make these claims.

Yeah, how dare she, as a working mother, engage the best childcare she can afford for her children.

I knew someone would say something snarky about that. I have zero issue with paid childcare- I’m a nanny myself (on maternity leave) I’m simply saying she would probably not be able to do what she’s claiming if it was just on her.
OP posts:
1forAll74 · 13/02/2022 18:14

My son was potty trained at about one year old, back in 1971,, in the days when most babies were wearing terry towelling nappies, and when disposable ones like Pampers were coming into the shops gradually. So was glad my son was potty trained early, and not have to spend money on disposable ones, as dont know where they end up.

It was a bit of a bind,to go through the process of washing terry nappies, but, I must admit, that it was nice to see all the flapping nice white nappies blowing in the wind,on the line, down the long garden., a familiar scene in lots of gardens. .

Most Mums then, bought,or had been gifted a dozen,or maybe two dozen terry nappies when pregnant then. My Son is 50 now, but I have stlll got a few of the big safe nappy pins from those days, bought from a local Mothercare shop. !!

MrsPsmalls · 13/02/2022 18:15

Me and my brothers were all trained by 12 months. All started wearing normal underwear at about nine months so we could feel when we were going, and then at the speed of light, plonked on the potty and told to do that in the potty. Really intensive for about a week but then sorted. I remember Mum moaning about my little brother being really slow to make the connection as it took him about 3 weeks! But even so he was all done and dusted before he was one.

NoneOfYour32Potatoes · 13/02/2022 18:16

Wtf is going on in that superhero family photo (on the KR link on the thread) with the man’s thumb, for such a staged photo, couldn’t they have photoshopped his thumb out Confused

thirdfiddle · 13/02/2022 18:16

@toomuchlaundry

How does this work for night time dryness, which is down to hormones?

DS was quite happy lying in his own poo after soiling his nappy when he was bed, he certainly didn’t have a problem of soiling his own bed.

Think modern disposable nappies do delay potty training, because many babies probably hate having a wet bum, and they don’t get that sensation with disposables.

We didn’t rush into potty training with DS, partly because we had a reasonably long commute to his nursery, so wanted him to be able to be able to hold on and not immediately go for a wee once he needed the loo. I assume EC isn’t much use when you are driving at 70mph with nowhere to pull over!

Night time dryness - I think you potty baby when they wake to feed. DD was dry at night by 1 though so don't know if she had weird hormones. Or maybe it's more common than we think, and some night wetness is actually first thing in the morning wetness.

Re travel - they can go on cue as well as cueing to go. So you can pop them on potty before you leave and at rest stops. Much easier than when they might poo at any point and then are sitting in it till you can find somewhere to stop.
I wouldn't ask a nursery to do EC though anyway. They don't have time to pay the amount of attention required.

Georgyporky · 13/02/2022 18:21

My DM told me I was "clean" by 12 months, & "dry" by 14 months.
My DS took just a little longer.
I think motivation is important. DM had just a sink & a mangle. All clothes were dried on a clothes airer in one of the 2 rooms they rented.
I'm still bemused when I see kids over 2 in nappies

Footsanitiser · 13/02/2022 18:23

IMHO, not using nappies full time and training a baby are 2 separate things.
From what I've read it's more about parents reading expressions or recognising signs that a baby is about to wee or poo. Or realising there is a pattern to their bowel or bladder movements. I noticed DS did a wee immediately after having a bath when he was about 1, and started sitting him on the potty. I didn't train him to do anything, I just realised I could save a nappy or in a few cases a wet carpet if I sat him on the potty at that point.

In the case of a very young baby (months) I'm sure they are completely unaware that they are making a face/doing something different with their hand etc. It's the parent that is actively observing and recognising the sign and then making the effort to catch the wee or poo in something other than a nappy.

FlyingPandas · 13/02/2022 18:23

@WheelieBinPrincess

She has at least one full time nanny so it would be interesting to know how much dangling over a potty or cleaning up a carpet of wee she’s undertaking herself in order to make these claims.
As other PP have said, she used the same method with her daughter who is now 12, and based on various interviews and social media comments etc she was parenting on her own and very much struggling financially from when Violet was tiny.

I don’t doubt she has a stack of help now and she’s very obviously very wealthy from her Insta posts -beautiful house, dripping in designer gear, frankly, good on her if that’s what she wants - but she has previously used the same method with a baby, way before she was famous and wealthy, which does slightly add to her credibility here.

Fizbosshoes · 13/02/2022 18:26

Neither of my DC were reliably dry at night until they were 7. Both were potty trained (in the conventional way - it took about 8 days iirc) when they were 2. (DS was nearly 3)
But the health visitor and Dr told me they could not be "trained " to be dry at night.

Mischance · 13/02/2022 18:28

When my baby sister arrived I was 9. My Mum used to hold her over the pot after every feed, just for a few minutes, making sure the pot touched her skin so she could feel it. Inevitably there was often a bit of follow-through after a feed and lots of offerings were caught in the pot. I do not know how far this could actually be regarded as training, or how long-lived the results were, but I have a lot of sympathy with her as she had terry nappies to deal with and no washing machine!

BuffyTheBuffetSlayer · 13/02/2022 18:34

I did this with 2 of my DC starting at 6 weeks old. Not full on EC, never looked for cues, never hovered them over the potty for hours either Confused After every feed or clothes change I'd put them on the potty for 5 to 10 minutes which is all it took.

By around 8 weeks, as they got used to it, they were doing their business almost straight away then I'd put a nappy on them. When they were crawling they'd crawl to the potty themselves and do the toilet and by 1yo they were in proper underwear.

It never stopped me taking them out, or visiting other people.

Only reason I did it was because it was something that took very little effort on my part and had great results.