Katherine Ryan reckons her eight month old is toilet trained

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Now, if I held my baby over the loo for a couple of hours for want of something better to do on a rainy Sunday, I reckon eventually he’d use it. I could then clap and proclaim I had started toilet training

AIBU to think she’s off her rocker? Apparently, putting your baby in a nappy means you are teaching them to always go in a nappy.

I know she has a nanny to deal with all this as well, who Im sure rolls her eyes at the proclamation that her baby is fully potty trained at 8mo.

Reminds me of a friend of mine who claimed her newborn learnt to use a hand signal for hunger from day 2 or 3 so she didn’t need to cry. She was apparently fluent in baby sign from two months old.

Absolute nonsense
It's bad on so many physical levels.
Just another stupid ejit showing off how advanced her baby is.

Good for her, much better than hundreds of nappies in landfill.

@ListeningButNotHearing

Absolute nonsense It's bad on so many physical levels. Just another stupid ejit showing off how advanced her baby is.

Do you have any actual basis for saying how bad it is on so many physical levels? If so can you detail please? love to hear your experience

It's definitely a thing that babies pee on the changing mat, so I do believe there's some kind of pee in open air instinct there. Potty thing didn't occur to us with older DS, and by the time we PT at 3 he had lost that and got in habit of dribbling constantly in nappy. I do wonder if we'd encouraged the fresh air instinct it might have saved trouble later.

With younger DD I had heard of EC and while too busy to do it properly, we popped her on a potty at convenient points from about 3 mos. Actually first time was because she seemed uncomfortable peeing so I wanted to try getting a sample for the doctor. But it was so easy we concluded she just didn't like the feeling of peeing in her nappy.

She did quickly start using it on cue, and I think waiting at least a bit if the nappy was still on. Which isn't potty training as such but it saved a load of nappies and was convenient. You could pop her on potty before going out for example. Certainly by 1 she hardly ever had a dirty nappy.

So while not exactly PT it was a very convenient step in the right direction, more pleasant and less effort than cleaning up pooey nappy bums.

I think EC proper is about you reading their cues too so you can tell when they were about to go. Was too busy/lazy to do that part.

So yeah, don't know exactly what they mean by pt, but don't underestimate what babies can do.

^No, it’s not rubbish. It’s totally do able and it’s what many people used to do before washing machines and disposable nappies.
My own grandmother held my mother over a potty from a few days old after every breast feed.^
It meant far far fewer poo cloth nappies.

Yes mothers held babies over potties which caught any pee and poo at that time which meant nappies stayed cleaner longer. However that is not quite the same as being potty trained at 8 months.

I did elimination communication with dc2. We didn't do it 100% of the time but if he was in a sling for example he would start getting fidgety when he needed to go.
I held him over the toilet at set times like just after waking up and after food and he would save his poos until then. A dirty nappy was extremely rare. I went back to work when he was 13 months and nursery continued although they were surprised it worked. He was completely potty trained slightly earlier than dc1 at about 2 and a half.

With dc1 I had been following Gina Ford who suggests putting on potty after evening meal and before bath from six months.

No-one actually likes to sit in their own poo.

Rule one of parenthood op: when it comes to DCs, always assume a celebrity’s lying and take anything they say with a large pinch of salt. And then quietly think ‘bollocks’ and crack on with your day.

As others have said, she’s most likely using elimination communication which is entirely legitimate but not the same as toilet training. A child is toilet trained when they can recognise the signs they need to go, ask to use toilet or potty, use said toilet or potty with minimal assistance including the pulling down and pulling up of clothes etc etc.

Clearly an 8mo baby cannot do all that.

Personally I’d have found elimination communication to be much more stressful than just, you know; just changing a nappy. But clearly she thinks it’s worth it.

I don’t actually mind Katherine - I think she’s a very talented woman, and not afraid to be honest about who she is. But I am surprised that Katherine is putting her son on SM so much when she was so careful and protective with her daughter Violet.

I'm with you on this op. My nearly two year old doesn't know when they are weeing. I saw the article too and thought 'yeah, right.'

YABU OP assuming it is true.

@WheelieBinPrincess

You’d have to always be in reach of a toilet or potty I presume which just sounds totally impractical for most people, unless her baby never really leaves the house.

As I understand, there is am element of learning the baby's natural rhythm too....so you will know when they are likely to need to empty and once they have emptied bladder and bowels, roughly how long before they need to go again.

She's probably using elimination communication? It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it is a legitimate practice. No need to sneer about it.

She did this with her eldest daughter too if you have the time and patience crack on, you are right the op didn't need to be sneery about it. My friends Dd is doing it with her own baby.

Does come across as unbearably smug - I assume she just wanted to create a bit of controversy. No doubt he’ll be teaching himself Ancient Greek by 18 months.

And anyway no 8 month old is potty trained in that he’s not walking over to the potty himself. He’s just communicating that he needs to go and is lucky enough in that she or her husband (and not a babysitter/nursery staff who might not interpret the cues correctly) are there 24/7 to respond. Good for them - but hardly worth boasting about 🤷‍♀️

@CecilyP

^No, it’s not rubbish. It’s totally do able and it’s what many people used to do before washing machines and disposable nappies. My own grandmother held my mother over a potty from a few days old after every breast feed.^ It meant far far fewer poo cloth nappies.

Yes mothers held babies over potties which caught any pee and poo at that time which meant nappies stayed cleaner longer. However that is not quite the same as being potty trained at 8 months.

But by starting when the baby is days old - by 8 months the baby knows the drill. Eat then get held over potty and poo or wee. It just becomes part of the routine. The body and mind knows what to do. So yes. It is potty training by 8 months (obviously I don’t mean walking to the potty at 8 months)

@sadpapercourtesan

She's probably using elimination communication? It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it is a legitimate practice. No need to sneer about it.

This.

It's not about holding baby over the loo for 8 hours either.

People do things differently to you. So what.

Incidentally she maintained that if modern parents had to contend with the sheer hell of terry nappies, soaking in buckets, washing and drying them, they would get their children trained much sooner. The convenience of the disposable nappy means it's not such a hardship.

I’ve read that on here a few times but don’t think it’s true. I used disposables when DS was born in the mid 80s, while many of my friends with slightly older children had used terries but they were all out of nappies at roughly the same time at around 2.6.

One thing that did make a difference was plastic pants! These really did make a difference to how frequently babies needed to be changed so I can well understand how mums would hold a baby over a potty at every nappy change prior to their availability.

It's not 'nonsense'... but nor is it the whole story.

Potty training means:

• knowing when they need to go before they're going.
• the physical control to hold it
• the ability to let someone know they need to go
• the desire to go in the potty/toilet
• being habituated to the feeling of going on the toilet/potty/NOT in a nappy/bed/etc
• for those who used nappies - removing that habituation, replacing it with a new habit.

That first stage takes some time, whether its humans or dogs (no puppy is housetrained in 2 weeks btw!)

Currently she'll be at the stage where her child is aware of the need to go, she is aware of her childs toilet schedule and the physical signs of needing to go.

As her child is NOT habituated to the sensation of going in a nappy or in clothing, it will be easier for her to see the signs that her child wants to go.

This doesn't mean her child can hold it as long as an adult, that's physically impossible, nor can he take himself to the toilet, he's too young for that, nor is it likely he could ask anyone BUT his parents/nanny to sort him out because she and presumably her husband and nanny are the only ones who know what his physical cues are.

But it doesn't mean its bollocks or bullshit either - it's just a different way of doing it.

Anyone toilet training using nappies IS habituating their child to the feeling of going in nappies and that means there is no need to be fully aware of bowel/bladder fullness/urge at this point.

So when you do come to change things round, you'll need to break that habit (and try changing your own toilet habits, that isn't easy!) AND build a new habit, alongside teaching that there is now a need for bladder/bowel awareness.

Which isn't easy, and is why toilet training can take some time for some kids.

But then her method means you do need to be with your child AND be super vigilant all the time, it definitely wouldn't work if your child was in nursery or you're splitting your attention between child and WFH.

I don't have a view on how she potty trains her child but what I do want to know is why for someone not really well known is she always in the media?

What you mean is, you don’t watch any of the things she does therefore she isn’t well known. Her body of work since she came to the U.K. just over a decade ago is pretty extensive for such a short career.

Does she have the world's best agent? Is she strapped for cash? There was a period of time when she cropped up weekly it seemed with non stories

Unlikely to be strapped for cash, but she’s a jobbing comedian/presenter just like any other and of course she will have an agent who gets her publicity. It’s her job, what’s wrong with that? No need to be so sneery about it.

She isn’t my cup of tea and I rarely watch the kind of things she’s on, but I’m not sure why you are picking on her for doing exactly the same as the likes of Rob Beckett, Jon Richardson, James Acaster etc.

@WheelieBinPrincess

You’d have to always be in reach of a toilet or potty I presume which just sounds totally impractical for most people, unless her baby never really leaves the house.

I knew two families do EC. They took a bowl out and about with them. Very interesting, if I'd had more I'd have been tempted to try it. We used washable nappies, saving on carrying wet nappies around when out would have been a plus.

My ex MIL did elimination communication and all of her 4 were ‘potty trained’ by 9 months. I couldn’t do it myself but it’s normal in her culture.

I'm with you on this op. My nearly two year old doesn't know when they are weeing. I saw the article too and thought 'yeah, right.'

At nearly 2 DS did know he was seeing and if I left his nappy off in the evening, he was perfectly capable of using his potty. But, not only did he wee roughly every 20 minutes, but also this wasn’t replicated with clothes on. As our living room was the only room warm enough not to wear clothes, it was a bit of a non starter! So I can see how it would be more easily achieved in warmer climes.

My niece hated pooing in a nappy. I went away with them when she was 9 months old and she would grunt to be put on the potty to poo.

I wasn’t 100% convinced until her parents took her brother to the emergency doctor and left me and another Aunty with DS (3 months) and DN (9 months) she sat grunting and performed as soon as she was stripped off and sat on the potty.

DD1 couldn't even sit reliably until.about nine months so I couldn't have put her on a potty.

If I see that woman on TV in anything I switch over!

@CountryMouse22

If I see that woman on TV in anything I switch over!

Not just me then, she irritates the crap out of me.

I'm impressed by anyone who managed to successfully pull off elimination communication, so rather than diss a mother for doing it, why not congratulate them. I know I wouldn't have been able to do it, which is partly circumstance, partly laziness on my part, I imagine it's quite a bit of work. If a mother has managed it, famous or not, good on them.