What is your biggest regret in life?

[Teadrinker11]

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

I thought my older ex-husband was like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain and it was really upsetting and disappointing to pull back the curtain and discover there was just some bloke there.

Never think anybody is better than you and has their shit together more than you and is more capable than you

I regret not doing a law degree and training as a barrister. If I was younger, I would retrain.

Not taking the job in the Bahamas when I was 24. I’m 62 now and still wonder how different my life could have been.

@TyrannosaurusRegina

Not choosing a better father for my baby.

Same- we muddle by but I wish DS had a better role model.

@Noshowlomo

I regret and just hate the fact that I am a people pleaser. I stay under the radar and try and be the “happy funny” one instead of giving my opinion and telling people to fuck off when they deserve it. I regret caring what people have thought of me over the years. It’s kept me in a boring job I hate. I’m 41 now and need to make so many changes.

I am your twin. My post is similar to yours. My mother can be very cold at times. She almost has 2 personalities. I spent my life trying to people please in the hope she would approve of me. I am wealthy, happily married and my adult children, her only grandchildren, are fabulous. She is about to be a great granny. She still finds it necessary to come out with gems like "Well you've tried lots of different things but you've never been any good at anything". I have discovered grey rock thanks to mumsnet. Its a game changer, as they say. Wish I had discovered it years ago. The other thing I wish I had realised is that ,when you go into a room full of strangers, don't worry about whether they will like you. Reframe it. Walk in thinking , I wonder who I will like in here. It instantly removed the social anxiety I had had for years.

Thought I could coast through A levels like I did I level

I too messed around from 16-21 instead of looking after myself and my future. I got into serious debt, moved out of my home too young, and struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. I started uni at 21 and regretted it all so much.

I worked hard and got a 1st class degree by 24 and wished I hadn't pissed so much life away so I'd have been in a better place by that point. But I wouldnt have had the motivation to do so well and turn my life around if I hadn't gone through that.

It's 10 years on from that now and I no longer regret any of it. I have lived the life I lived and maybe I could have done better, but life's not a sprint and I've achieved so much in the last decade since then, getting the degree was just scratching the surface. I definitely needed time to accept my decisions but once I started making good decisions, it lead to more good decisions and sent my life on a great path.

I can see that similar has happened to you and I wish you all the success and happiness you deserve. Try your best not to waste time regretting what you can't change, and of you're struggling see if you can get counselling or someone to talk it through with.

And now I have RTFT, it's actually not that bad.

So, rather than the negative, look at the positive.

You're a very young woman.

I have always felt bloody brilliant about myself. I have always valued myself. I have always thought I'm great.

And that has always served me well.

So just be absolutely sure in who you are. Never listen to people when they're projecting their insecurities. That is them. Not you.

My advice to young women is, be entirely you. Do not listen to nonsense. Be sure and calm and confident. Looking great js fantastic, but it isn't the most important thing about you.

You know who you are.

Breathe.

And be fabulous.

Second marriage. I have wonderful children from it and wouldn’t be without them, but their father; he’s on the Clare’s Law list.

Oh and yeah, I do have regrets. Wasting time worrying about things I can't change. I'm still working on not doing that. It's hard! Xx

I was offered 3 weeks' work experience at Vogue magazine after winning a writing contest when I was 25. I was too scared to ask my boss for time off work so I didn't do it 🤮

Allowing myself to become to overweight- it affects pretty much every aspect of my life.

Marrying my ex but I wouldn't have DD, who is genuinely the best thing I'm the world and gives my life meaning on a scale that's indescribable.
Not pursuing a career path that would have seen me get a better paid job. When I was at school , if you were smart you went to uni. Unfortunately, there was no guidance in what you should study so while my degree was interesting , It's not led to the success I was promised
If I had my time again, I'd do a work and uni hybrid course with a bank or something practical like joinery. DD is desperate to be a dentist and I'm delighted!
I'd also have bought property sooner but live and learn!

Not having gravy on my roast dinner at my wedding because I was worried it would spill on the dress so I paid £6000 for a piece of paper (albeit a very important one!) and a dry-as-fuck carvery

Seriously? No regrets really, every decision has led me to here and things are pretty good.

@ShavingTheBadger @icannotbebothered

Good PAs can easily move across into Project Management. I did it, and have met a fair few that made the same move. Look into it, there are options and project management stretches across all sectors.

Not loving myself enough. It led to some decisions which, if I had my time again, I would not have behaved that way. My biggest regret.

@BottlingBurpsForGrandma

You should have worn a bib 😂😂😂

Not applying for an ERASMUS year in Uppsala- no none applied , I’d have got it but I thought I’d miss my friends

I have no regrets. I've had a great career. Sometimes I wish time didn't go so fast I met an incredible man in my late 30s and now have one child pregnant with my second if I had had them any earlier they wouldn't be the children I have now. No regrets to any of you we all still have our health and time to change our lives around xx

Getting stretch marks when I was young, wish I had the sort of mum to warn me not to get fat!
Dating the dick head and marrying him.

Not having real confidence until I was forty.

@Bagelsandbrie

In my late 30s I developed chronic autoimmune issues that have completely debilitated me. I wish that I hadn’t taken my earlier health for granted and basically wished I had gone out travelling / partying / living life at 1000mph. You never know when the ability to live without fear and pain will be taken away from you. It’s made me very resentful in my 40s.

I'm sorry as I know how hard that is. My DD has been chronically ill and housebound since she was 14 and has lost all her teenage years as she's now nearly 21. I regret not appreciating every moment before then as we just took it all for granted. I used to complain how quickly she got through her school shoes and nag her to do homework. She's had no education since Y9 and her last pair of shoes are still intact.

darumafan you could not possibly have known. I am so sorry.

Whilst I try to let them go as they can't be changed (if no order whatsoever)

Not staying on at school to do A levels when I had the grades to (now 44 and still doing sweet FA as a career)

Not getting certain photos when I was in hospital with DS2

Not getting DS2 christened (thanks covid)

Not putting my foot down over certain things to do with our wedding

Never getting our official wedding album sorted

Leaving it too long to investigate secondary infertility because we had DS1

Not having a proper wedding dress trying on session and settling

Writing this down makes me realise how many I have

Caring what 'friends' thought for far too long, accepting the tiny crumbs of friendship from them when I should have walked away.I had the idea that if you have been friends for years then you must stay friends forever. How utterly stupid is that.

I don’t believe in regret in general but mine all relate to events that would have been a lot of effort to get to logistically but I now wish I’d done whatever it took to get there; a couple of funerals and an exhibition showing one of my photographs.

I was a PA and am now a Supply Chain Manager! Moved into procurement within the organisation I was the PA at when someone retired and moved on from there.