My DS10 wants to walk to school by himself

[Ihearticecream]

My DS10 is very good at getting himself ready in the morning and the school have been encouraging independence and a fair few from the year walk to and from school by themselves. I am sure the physical walk is not a problem as he’s done it for years with me or his Dad but the world is not what it used to be and I am feeling like an overprotective mother.
I’m not sure I feel ready to let him go by himself yet.
Fellow mumsnetters any advice?
And do I need to give my head a wobble?
Thanks

It would really genuinely raise eyebrows if a NT 10y old child WASN'T walking themselves to school where I live. Most start around 8 (mine was prob actually still 7 as young in his year and wanted to go with his mates). By 11 they are walking themselves 2+ miles to high school after all (and round here much further to get to town/swimming pool/gym etc as bus service is rubbish).

Most start around 8 (mine was prob actually still 7 as young in his year and wanted to go with his mates).

My child’s primary didn’t allow this. Only children in the last term of year 5 or year 6 were allowed unaccompanied in the playground in the morning and only then if the parent/guardian has signed a form to give permission. Before that they had to be with a parent/guardian. And at the end of the school day, again, only children in the last term of year 5 or year 6 were released without a parent being there and only with with written permission. Most primary schools I know of have the same or similar policy based on friends and relatives kids.

My 10 year old DD is in Year 6 & has been walking to & from school since September.

It's a village & she only has one biggish road to cross which is outside school and has a crossing.

I admit it has been hard for me to "let go" and allow her but, as others have said, in less than 2 terms' time she will be getting a bus to high school in the next town. She needs to get used to having a bit of cautious freedom, planning her own journey etc, ahead of that.

@MusicByTheLake

Most start around 8 (mine was prob actually still 7 as young in his year and wanted to go with his mates).

My child’s primary didn’t allow this. Only children in the last term of year 5 or year 6 were allowed unaccompanied in the playground in the morning and only then if the parent/guardian has signed a form to give permission. Before that they had to be with a parent/guardian. And at the end of the school day, again, only children in the last term of year 5 or year 6 were released without a parent being there and only with with written permission. Most primary schools I know of have the same or similar policy based on friends and relatives kids.

At our local school it's allowed once they move out of infants (go into primary 4)- which for the youngest will be 7.5. Some obviously did get walked / driven in esp if they had younger siblings or lived right at the edge of the catchment and some were dropped at breakfast club, but the majority of the upper primary kids walk in with their mates.

All the kids here walk alone from age 8-9.

At 11 I was getting the tube to school accompanied by my little sister. It's healthy for children to be independent.

DD is desperate to walk to school by herself. I have said next year in year 5. We will do a trial so I can be sure she leaves the house on time if I'm not there. That and locking it are my main concerns!

I like to see my ds 10 go through the gate in the morning, it gives me peace of mind knowing he got to school okay. If he didn't go to school, I might not even know, as the school don't seem to chase up absence notes (I've forgotten a few times over the years, and it was never followed up or mentioned). Plus I can easily imagine him getting distracted.

He walks home himself though.

*getting distracted and being late.

@Mo1911

Personally I wouldn't let him. With the best will in the world, he's too young.

Too young for what?

thanks to the poster who wouldn't let her kids walk alone till age 14, gave me a good laugh.

We did a gradual thing with DD. They're only allowed by school from year 6, but towards the end of year 5 I started getting her to make decisions about when to cross, to check for cars etc

At the beginning of year 6 I walked most of the way with her until the last road then watched her cross to see she was checking for cars etc. Now she goes alone.

My main concern is the cars rather than stranger danger so focus has been on crossing safely as she used to be in a bit of a dream world at times.

I vote for starting off by letting him meet you just outside the school grounds and letting him head in from just inside. Once your confidence grows with that, agree to meet him further along. Maybe at a point where he would split roads with a friend? And in the mornings, if you meet a friend on the path them let him go from there? You know your son and your streets better than all of us so only you can make that final judgement for when he is ready. We have a 10 year old who is desperate to go to the shops on his own at the minute...he'll find any excuse for why he should go on his own. He still hasn't done it yet because there simply hasnt been a need but he is now walking to school on his own

Am I the only one saying no because the OP said there has been reports of people being approached by strangers?

@TheOrigRights

Am I the only one saying no because the OP said there has been reports of people being approached by strangers?

If the OP lives in an area like mine then there are regular reports of attempted abductions/ children approached in the way home from school. They go round Facebook and always turn out to be baseless rumours. No actual abduction has happened in the 15 years weve been living here so I personally wouldnt make parenting decisions based on them.

My 9 and 10 year old’s (year 5 and 6) have been walking home together since September. The eldest has a phone so I can contact her and also track her location on find my iPhone. They’re absolutely fine and enjoy the independence. Youngest will be doing it alone in September when older DD starts secondary. Their school is 1.6 miles away as well so not around the corner.

My girls walked to school on their own from year four. Plenty of other children doing the same route, zebra crossings on every road. They used to love it!

@TheOrigRights

Am I the only one saying no because the OP said there has been reports of people being approached by strangers?

There's seemingly always random unsubstantiated claims of this flying around Facebook etc. When DD was in school there was one, someone had seen DD's stroppy mate refusing to get in the car with her Dad because she wanted to go into town with DD. They'd reported it to the Police and posted a description of his van on FB, it caused her Dad so many problems he changed his van.

Do it gradually. First walk three quarts of the way with him and let him walk the last part alone, then you stop half way, then a quarter etc. Similarly coming home, meet him at the end of the road first and build up. My kids walked shorter distances by themselves initially (from about age 9) so they gained confidence. Also if you're worried get a phone with Life360 on so you can see where they are.

My kids in secondary take the train to school and walk to and from the station at both ends (and have done since age 11). Recently my 13 year old invited a friend round who lives near the school and her mum wouldn't let her get the 8 minute train ride with my daughter but insisted on driving her to our house! She's nearly 14!!!

Mine were desperate to walk alone by Year 5. But at the time we lived a 25 minute walk from school and there were a couple of difficult crossings - one where there were 3 lanes of 1 way traffic and one lane turned right just after where we needed to cross and the other two went straight on. Drivers turning right quite often slowed down and waved to let us cross but I used to wave them past as it was no good them stopping if the other two lanes were still moving at speed! I didn’t trust my kids to be able to properly gauge when it was safe to cross at that road. Then a bit nearer the school was a 4 way crossroads where we needed to cross that could get busy in the mornings so when mine were in Year 5 and 6 I used to see them over that road and they walked the last 10 minutes by themselves.

Wobble your head! 10 is absolutely fine unless there's a back story you're not telling us.

Written permission for a child to come to a school minus a parent?
Other than P1/2, I've never encountered this, do these schools expect a parent to walk into the playground every day, not even drop off and go outside?

I’m very keen on baby steps to independence starting as early as is safe . So I’d say yes absolutely after risk assessment.

The biggest risk here is traffic . Boys especially are unable to really assess speed accurately till 12 or 13. So I’d be extremely cautions about any busy roads without a crossing / lollipop person.

We crossed the kids over our road ( it’s a death trap not an estate road ) then they texted on arrival from year 6. On the way back they rang as they left school and I waited and crossed them back.

What year is he? You haven't said. In fact it doesn't matter, because year 5 or 6 is fine. Our primary recommended all children walked to school in year 6, if they could safely, in preparation for secondary.
A parent is far too overprotective if they stop that from happening. One of our first meetings at secondary school as parents we were asked to take a step back not wrap them in cotton wool and prepare them for more independence: if they did forget their PE kit or anything else twice, they would get a detention and for most this does work.

How far is his planned secondary. How will he get there?