Interfering with new parents?

[jotaaaaaa]

NC for this and I'm not 100% what my AIBU even is but...

We visited one of DH's friends and his girlfriend last night who have just had a very longed after first baby. During the conversation, the new mum mentioned that her health visitor had been round and she was actually really nice, which surprised her because she'd horror stories about health visitors being interfering and nosy. She then followed this up with 'I mean, obviously there are some things that you don't tell her.. like we sleep with the baby in bed with us every night and nap on the sofa with him - she'd freak out to me, but bet she does that with her own kids!!'

I don't have any children myself, but DH has 2 - both older by the time I was on the scene, so I don't have much experience with babies. At the time alarm bells were ringing for me, but I didn't say anything.. because what do I know. The minute we left, DH was like 'did you hear what they said about sleeping with the baby?!'

Now I can't stop thinking about it - do we tell them this is actually really bad? Keep our nose out? I can't stop thinking about it.

It would really need to be DH that tells them, as they're very much his friends.. but he doesn't want to look like he's interfering. I can't stop thinking about how we'd feel if something was to happen.

YABU - keep your nose out and let them get on with finding their feet as new parents

YANBU - DH should tell his pal that this is really not okay

Keep your nose out. If they know health visitors frown upon it, they will know exactly why. You can do things they “frown” about as it’s not their business and there are safe ways to do things. Can’t believe you say “alarm bells” are ringing. Reign yourself in!! I’d tell you to F off

Co-sleeping and sofa napping are extremely risky if parents are drinkers/ smokers /drug users. Otherwise it's totally normal. However sofa napping is not a great habit...a light hearted mention "I remember reading somewhere that napping with baby on sofa can be dangerous..." wouldn't be a big deal!

I think co sleeping with a newborn is bonkers but I would never say that to people who have done it. The sofa sleeping though is so irresponsible I might well find a way to say it. Problem is, they won't thank you for it. It's usually best to keep out of these things if you can. Seeing as they knew enough to lie to the HV, they obviously know the advice and have chosen to ignore it. I'd keep out of it.

I have co slept with all 3 of mine from birth. I come from a culture where it is an alien concept to make a baby sleep in a cot from birth. But I don’t judge mothers who do that and you shouldn’t judge mothers who co sleep if you know nothing about it.

@jotaaaaaa They clearly already know the risks hence keeping it from the health visitor?