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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Almost caused a car accident - not sure what to do now

62 replies

xsunshinexxx · 09/02/2022 18:23

Not sure if this is the best place to post but I need some advice! I apologise in advance for the garbled post.

I was driving home from work, slowed down for a junction, looked both ways and pulled out. I was turning right and it turns out there was a car coming from the left which I didn’t see (I have no idea how!). I braked, as did he, along with blaring his horn and using various hand gestures and there was no contact between the cars. I raised my hand and apologised even though he couldn’t hear me. Anyway, he pulled away and I followed behind and he pulled in at the next junction which happened to be the direction I was going, then stopped and pulled over at the side of the road. I overtook and carried on driving but saw him looking and gesturing as I passed. I think he expected me to pull over which I didn’t because I assumed he’d just yell at me (which to be honest would be fair enough as it was entirely my fault which I take full responsibility for)

Im not sure what to do now. I feel awful about the whole thing and honestly for the life of me don’t know how I didn’t see the car coming. We didn’t crash- I’d know if we did surely but him pulling over is making me question myself. It wasn’t like an emergency stop kind of braking so I don’t think he could be injured from that so I’m not entirely sure why he pulled over further down the road.

Was I being unreasonable not to pull over? Is there something I should do now and report something somewhere?. It wasn’t an accident as such but nearly was.

Believe it or not I’ve been driving 10 years and never even had a near miss so this has caused my anxiety to sky rocket! I feel awful for my mistake and feel awful for the poor bloke that’s probably shaken up now because of my actions. If he reports this to the police is this likely to result in some sort of action?

OP posts:

SpottyBumPony · 09/02/2022 18:24

No harm no foul. Take it on the chin and check more next time

ThePlantsitter · 09/02/2022 18:26

Oh it shakes you up for ages this type of thing. But nothing happened and nothing can come of it - you're all right.

chorusline79 · 09/02/2022 18:26

I wouldn't have pulled over either OP. What if he was aggressive towards you, or even violent.

Just take it as a near miss and check carefully next time.

squashyhat · 09/02/2022 18:27

Why do you think you have to do anything? You didn't hit him. He didn't hit you. You were shaken up and he was angry. End of. Have a cup of tea/glass of wine and forget it.

Sausagesausagesausage · 09/02/2022 18:27

I wouldn't have pulled over but I have pulled over myself to calm down and take a breather when I've had a near miss/some idiot has pulled out in front of me.

Francescaisstressed · 09/02/2022 18:27

He isn't going to bother to report you to the police and even if he did nothing would happen - it's a near miss.
Aslong as there was no damage/noone got hurt they won't be involved.
As you said, take comfort this is your first neat miss in 10 years. The fact you are so concerned shows you are a considerate driver.

TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet · 09/02/2022 18:27

It was a near miss, it happens to us all at some point. He could have been speeding, you might have been dazzled by headlights, or his car wasn’t standing out enough. It happens. You didn’t crash, you waved sorry and you carried on. If he was expecting you to pull over and confront you then that’s on him, not you. As a lone woman in a car, you don’t stop for strange men, so you did the right thing.

Let it go, look twice next time.

User0610134049 · 09/02/2022 18:28

I’m not sure there’s anything you can do now, or anything you could have done differently.

You didn’t make contact, there was no accident, there was a horrible near miss.

I would’ve felt intimidated too pulling over when he was in a shocked angry state.

SummerHouse · 09/02/2022 18:29

You did the right thing and I think most of us would have done the same.

I know I did when a near identical situation happened to me yesterday!

The other driver may be pissed off, understandable, but you made a mistake, and nothing happened. It's really as boring as that.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 09/02/2022 18:29

He was probably shaken up after the near miss, and wanted to stop to collect his thoughts.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 09/02/2022 18:30

Someone pulled out on me at a mini-roundabout last month. I beeped and swore! He waved sorry and we drove on. You're under absolutely no obligation to stop and I would probably advise any lone person not to pull into a layby with a stranger unless exchanging insurance details.

Pearlescentivy · 09/02/2022 18:31

Bless you, I can feel the angst in your post. No I can't for the life of me see how you'd have missed actual contact between the vehicles, very unlikely.

You're understandably very shaken up and whilst of course, ideally you'd have seen him and not pulled out but sadly we are only human and we do fuck up sometimes. You just need to try and forget about it and use the experience to improve you as a driver

Lockheart · 09/02/2022 18:32

I remember when I was going straight on over a roundabout, a chap came out from the left-hand exit right in front of me, he obviously had no idea I was there (despite my being in a bright blue car). He tried to stop entering the roundabout when he saw me at the last minute but he was going too fast. I performed an emergency stop and came to a halt with my bonnet inches from the driver's door.

We didn't get out of our cars, he waved sorry and carried on. I think I was more shaken up than he was!

It was a near-miss, not an accident. No need to stop or exchange details. Just be more careful next time.

gamerchick · 09/02/2022 18:32

Wasn't it your right of way anyway?

Lockheart · 09/02/2022 18:33

@gamerchick

Wasn't it your right of way anyway?

It sounds like she was turning right out of a t-junction. If that's true then no, the cars already on the main road have right of way of course.

DolphinFC · 09/02/2022 18:34

I think a good scary near miss every once in while does you a bit of good.

PinkiOcelot · 09/02/2022 18:35

I wouldn’t have pulled over either. Why would you? It does play on your mind though. I would try and forget about it now though.

Bagelsandbrie · 09/02/2022 18:35

Don’t beat yourself up about this. Even the best drivers in the world have occasional near misses. It happens. The other driver has probably done similar things too! I hate it when people get so aggressive with others like that, there’s just no need. Yes it wasn’t nice but these things happen and you just have to shrug it off.

💐💐 and ☕️☕️☕️☕️

HangOnToYourself · 09/02/2022 18:35

No you didnt need to stop and I wouldkt have either some people react very aggressively and you cant know if he is the type to be violent...road rage can get crazy.
We all have nesr misses, nobody is perfect we all make.the odd error in judgement but some people going fucking nuts about it and even start driving dangerously to try and scar you afterwards. Just put it down to experience

Delatron · 09/02/2022 18:37

I wouldn’t have stopped either. You didn’t hit him and he could have become aggressive.

Look this kind of stuff happens. You didn’t cause and accident and reacted in time, as did he.

macshoto · 09/02/2022 18:37

You did nothing wrong post the incident.

May be a trigger to think about how you can avoid making the same mistake again. Would thoroughly recommend the videos of a YouTube channel 'Reg Local' - a former police advanced driving instructor who does some great videos on tips to enhance your driving. Not at all preachy - just very practical down to earth advice on things like observation, cornering, road position and braking - illustrated as he drives his own car.

gamerchick · 09/02/2022 18:39

It sounds like she was turning right out of a t-junction. If that's true then no, the cars already on the main road have right of way of course.

That reads more sense, cheers.

I wouldn't have stopped either.

Susu49 · 09/02/2022 18:51

Oh op, it so shaking when you have a near miss and even worse when an idiot throws a road rage tantrum!

Definitely good not to have stopped with him, he'd have just laid into you. I hope you feel better soon

Pluvia · 09/02/2022 18:52

Was it dark when this happened? A couple of years ago after a near-miss like this I pulled in to check my lights were working properly. I assumed that as they didn't seem to have seen me, there must be a problem with the lights. I wonder if it was that? Or maybe he had a cake or a tray of eggs or a precious Ming vase on the back seat and he pulled in to see how much damage his emergency stop had caused.

Hooray, OP: you didn't have an accident. Focus on that. It fairs shakes you up, doesn't it?

DramaAlpaca · 09/02/2022 18:53

I think you were very wise not to pull over. You don't know what he might have said or done.

There's no harm done, don't give it another thought.

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