Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Almost caused a car accident - not sure what to do now

62 replies

xsunshinexxx · 09/02/2022 18:23

Not sure if this is the best place to post but I need some advice! I apologise in advance for the garbled post.

I was driving home from work, slowed down for a junction, looked both ways and pulled out. I was turning right and it turns out there was a car coming from the left which I didn’t see (I have no idea how!). I braked, as did he, along with blaring his horn and using various hand gestures and there was no contact between the cars. I raised my hand and apologised even though he couldn’t hear me. Anyway, he pulled away and I followed behind and he pulled in at the next junction which happened to be the direction I was going, then stopped and pulled over at the side of the road. I overtook and carried on driving but saw him looking and gesturing as I passed. I think he expected me to pull over which I didn’t because I assumed he’d just yell at me (which to be honest would be fair enough as it was entirely my fault which I take full responsibility for)

Im not sure what to do now. I feel awful about the whole thing and honestly for the life of me don’t know how I didn’t see the car coming. We didn’t crash- I’d know if we did surely but him pulling over is making me question myself. It wasn’t like an emergency stop kind of braking so I don’t think he could be injured from that so I’m not entirely sure why he pulled over further down the road.

Was I being unreasonable not to pull over? Is there something I should do now and report something somewhere?. It wasn’t an accident as such but nearly was.

Believe it or not I’ve been driving 10 years and never even had a near miss so this has caused my anxiety to sky rocket! I feel awful for my mistake and feel awful for the poor bloke that’s probably shaken up now because of my actions. If he reports this to the police is this likely to result in some sort of action?

OP posts:

MrsMoastyToasty · 09/02/2022 18:55

I bet he was going too fast. Which is why you didn't see him.

helpfulperson · 09/02/2022 18:57

Honestly it's quite impressive you've been driving 10 years and it's your first incident of this type.

In my 30 years driving I've had 2 incidents where the only reason there wasn't a serious accident was the actions of someone else and another couple where I've been the one taking avoiding action. It's not great but it happens and if there is no contact there is no need to stop.

pinkgingham · 09/02/2022 18:57

Something similar happened to me about six months ago OP, like you I'm still not quite sure how it happened and I felt shaken up about it for ages. A near miss happens to most of us every now and again, don't beat yourself up, just try and forget about it and move on.

mogsrus · 09/02/2022 18:59

Fortunately no incident occurred,so just move on.No good getting uptight about it,it will soon face into distant memo

The incident happened,& possibly happen again,in this day of driving,courtesy on the roads has long gone, fortunately no one had an accident,you will get over it

girlmom21 · 09/02/2022 18:59

A near miss isn't a reportable issue - don't worry.

Herald44 · 09/02/2022 19:00

Happened to me when I was 18. Like with you the car then stopped on a country road and I was forced to stop behind it as there was no passing place. The woman got out and came to my driver's door, I wound down the window and she absolutely laid into me, reduced me to tears. I was upset about it for days!

It was a mistake, we all make them. No harm no foul x

Georgeskitchen · 09/02/2022 19:01

Never, never pull over for any vehicle but a MARKED police car, and even if you do, ask to see their warrant card

EricScrantona · 09/02/2022 19:01

This is common and so easy to do. It's a combination of the a pillars and a car being just in the right place to not be seen. Don't fret. Just know now that it can happen and try your best to avoid it. You'd be hard pressed to find a person that hadn't almost done this or done this at some point! I'm a sold driver with great observation that has helped me avoid more crashes than I count but i will admit, I have pulled out and had to slam my brakes on!

PrtScn · 09/02/2022 19:02

I wouldn’t have pulled over either, but maybe he thought you were trying to follow him and decided to have it out with you.

sorrysaywhatnow · 09/02/2022 19:04

There's not a chance in hell I'd have pulled over. What good would it have done? You'd only have been putting yourself in harms way. I think a close call does us good in terms of driving, we're never too old or experienced to be alert at all times to the potential hazards. Chalk it up to experience, have a g&t and move on.

Tiana4 · 09/02/2022 19:09

Let go of the angst about this

It was a mistake and you didn't have a car accident
You'd only pull over where it was safe if you had hit him. No way would I have stopped- what benefit would that have been ? He sounds aggressive and it would have put you in harms way. He doesn't get to berate you he already made rude gestures so expressed his anger clearly

Probably you were both shook up

You'll feel unsettled all evening as it was scary, but a good nights sleep will help. And you'll be extra cautious in future

Fudgein · 09/02/2022 19:11

I had something similar OP, I indicated into a lane, it looked clear so I pulled over & then had a van speed up behind me blasting his horn & screaming and gesturing. I got such a fright it was really bad snow and he could have easily crashed into me. I assumed from his reaction he was closer than I thought, he then sped out past me, and pulled back in right in front of me then braked. I genuinely almost cried as I knew I was going to hit him. By some miracle I didn't but at the next set of lights I ended up beside him, he was still screaming & I put my window down - actually to apologise and say I didnt see him but he wouldn't even speak to me he was perspiring, red faced and incandescent with rage so after that I gave up. It was a mistake which luckily had no consequences, but I seen him further down the road pulling in and out of traffic like a maniac so realised his reaction was OTT. Similar to your guys, he might have got a fright and pulled over but I wouldn't not confront an aggressive driver regardless. Mistakes happen it's a part of being human.

HappyDays40 · 09/02/2022 19:13

You made a mistake but don't we all? I would refuse to be shouted at as an adult, as if you were going to pull over. You said you were sorry they need to move on

NEUserNamesNotTakenJeez · 09/02/2022 19:16

I'm thinking with you following him for so long afterwards (as you were naturally going anyway) he maybe assumed you were wanting to talk to him so was confused when he pulled over and you carried on? Try not to worry about it, people freak out when they get into or almost get into an accident (we pulled out of a junction one time and the car completely cut out, engine problems we didn't know about until it happened. The woman had plenty of time to see we weren't moving yet still came to an abrupt stop an inch from us, effin and blinding and freaking her young kids out, some people just react that way, don't take it personally.)

LittleMG · 09/02/2022 19:19

I definitely wouldn’t have stopped if u didn’t hit him you’ve done nothing wrong he was in the wrong. It’s against the law to get out of your car for road rage isn’t it? If you didn’t hit him that’s what it was.

catfunk · 09/02/2022 19:24

You don't need to do anything as you didn't hit him. And No way would I pull over for an angry man waving me down.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 09/02/2022 19:30

He may have thought you were following him to speak to him. But I dont think you owed it to him to stop.

Iluvfriends · 09/02/2022 19:32

I wouldn't have pulled over either op.....not a chance.
There was no contact so need need for the drama from other driver, you acknowledged your mistake and put your hand up to it, he should have left it at that.

Incidents like this happen every day. If more acted like you op and put there hands up there would be much less road rage, but no, so many drivers cannot admit they are in the wrong and just become abusive.

Had a driver pull out in front of me and i gave a short beep to let him know i was there or else he would have hit me. Next thing i know he's behind me flashing lights and beeping horn signalling for me to pull in. He gets in front and pulls into the side jumps out the car and tries to get me to stop. I just ignored him and carried on driving, he followed me for a while before getting bored and turning off as i wasn't engaging with him.

All he had to do was accept he was in the wrong and leave it at that, no need for all the rage.

fleurpots · 09/02/2022 19:33

No need to stop as nothing happened and as you suspect he probably would have shouted at you, which just would have made you feel worse.

I had a near miss last year and it shook me up for ages, I couldn't stop thinking about it. But these things happen sometimes - no one was hurt so try to forget about it.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 09/02/2022 19:45

PS, I once failed to see a lane closed sign coming up to a junction (it was one of those ones they put on the pavement so not very big and I think a car blocked my view of it). Anyway pulled into the lane I usually used to turn, realized my mistake and was backing up. A woman coming around the corner started to pull around while I was trying to get out of the way. I apologised but she went completely nuts, calling me all kinds of names, gesturing and getting out of her car to come over to shout through my window. She then kept asking if I was going to apologise. Bearing in mind I had been apologizing when she started ranting, I told her no, I had nothing more to say and drove away. It was not a near miss, and as soon as you start screaming and yelling, it is all over for me.

Iamanicepersonreally · 09/02/2022 19:50

I did exactly the same thing about two weeks ago. It was entirely my fault. The woman in the other car was lovely and didn't really react, but it still shook me up.

No way would I stop if the other person was being aggressive. Don't beat yourself up about it. I hope you're OK.

hugr · 09/02/2022 19:50

I stopped in this situation many years ago (was shaken up that I had nearly caused an accident, didn't expect the other car to stop). Spoke to her once she came over, no mention of damage. Anyway in the end she went to insurance, told them I'd hit her.

Said "why would I have stopped if no damage?" Both cars were pristine no damage. The insurance company caught on quickly but if her car had a dent then it would have been my fault.

hugr · 09/02/2022 19:51

I still had to log it as an incident though, when I renewed my insurance.

AuntyJanet · 09/02/2022 19:55

Mistakes happen, no harm done. If there was no crash there was no need for you to have stopped.

pastypirate · 09/02/2022 19:55

Ugh. This happened with me and a motorbike. I pulled over because honestly pass - I didn't actually get close to the bike. The rider just used the opportunity to yell at me until another motorist pulled over and intervened. It was v scary.

Flip

1 2 3