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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Almost caused a car accident - not sure what to do now

62 replies

xsunshinexxx · 09/02/2022 18:23

Not sure if this is the best place to post but I need some advice! I apologise in advance for the garbled post.

I was driving home from work, slowed down for a junction, looked both ways and pulled out. I was turning right and it turns out there was a car coming from the left which I didn’t see (I have no idea how!). I braked, as did he, along with blaring his horn and using various hand gestures and there was no contact between the cars. I raised my hand and apologised even though he couldn’t hear me. Anyway, he pulled away and I followed behind and he pulled in at the next junction which happened to be the direction I was going, then stopped and pulled over at the side of the road. I overtook and carried on driving but saw him looking and gesturing as I passed. I think he expected me to pull over which I didn’t because I assumed he’d just yell at me (which to be honest would be fair enough as it was entirely my fault which I take full responsibility for)

Im not sure what to do now. I feel awful about the whole thing and honestly for the life of me don’t know how I didn’t see the car coming. We didn’t crash- I’d know if we did surely but him pulling over is making me question myself. It wasn’t like an emergency stop kind of braking so I don’t think he could be injured from that so I’m not entirely sure why he pulled over further down the road.

Was I being unreasonable not to pull over? Is there something I should do now and report something somewhere?. It wasn’t an accident as such but nearly was.

Believe it or not I’ve been driving 10 years and never even had a near miss so this has caused my anxiety to sky rocket! I feel awful for my mistake and feel awful for the poor bloke that’s probably shaken up now because of my actions. If he reports this to the police is this likely to result in some sort of action?

OP posts:

ENoeuf · 09/02/2022 19:55

A man cut me up joining the motorway - I had to do an emergency stop in the fast / inside lane as he joined from the skip road and just cut straight across almost into me.
He then pulled over onto the hard shoulder but I was too scared to join him and just kept going.

Kidsfortea · 09/02/2022 20:02

Maybe he thought as you were following him that you wanted him to stop? I wouldn’t have stopped either.

Original poster

xsunshinexxx · 09/02/2022 20:02

Thanks everyone, I have a pasta bake in the oven and I’m about to pour a g&t to calm my frayed nerves

I feel slightly better having read through all your lovely comments. Lessons learned and I’ll be more careful next time (although I’m dreading getting back in the car tomorrow). It could have been so much worse and I’m so grateful it wasn’t, I know I didn’t hit him but I’ve taken some photos of my car on the off chance of any come back and it’s totally fine which reinforces what I knew just desperately in need of a wash .

I don’t blame the guy for being annoyed, I think I would haven been too if the situation was reversed. I suppose it’s easy to forget that everyone makes mistakes when you get a fright! Hopefully he’s all okay and calmed down now.

Thanks again, I’m a chronic over thinker so I really appreciate the messages! x

OP posts:

underneaththeash · 09/02/2022 20:07

@xsunshinexxx i think you did the right thing not pulling over, but I think you should go and get your eyes checked and mention what happened.

mummykel16 · 09/02/2022 20:10

@xsunshinexxx

Not sure if this is the best place to post but I need some advice! I apologise in advance for the garbled post.

Was I being unreasonable not to pull over? Is there something I should do now and report something somewhere?. It wasn’t an accident as such but nearly was.

No way you should have stopped you did the right thing op.

heyitsthistle · 09/02/2022 20:14

I very much doubt he was expecting you to pull over. Just pour yourself a glass of wine (or two).

jytdtysrht · 09/02/2022 20:16

This is why it is called an accident. You made a mistake, perhaps his car was blocked by your A frame or something. In any case, all that he wanted to do by pulling over was to shout at you. You have committed no crime, nobody is hurt. Forget about it. If he reports you, you can easily say that he made you scared for your safety with his aggression and also that there was no obligation or reason to pull over. I expect part of it was he appeared quickly due to travelling at excessive speed.

KarmaStar · 09/02/2022 20:17

There is nothing you can do other than look twice in future,he may have been going too fast or pulled out from a driveway,we don't know,but in these circs I doubt there's enough for driving without dc&a so stop fretting.live and learn.

Heytheredemons · 09/02/2022 20:21

It's just one of those things; you look without seeing, and the 1st you know of the car is the blaring horn, etc
If you were shook up, imagine how the bloke felt! I would have given gestures, too.
As you went the same way he did, he may have felt you were intentionally following him and pulled to check, or he may have been too shook up to drive and felt like he needed 5 mins.

Chalk it up to a lucky escape that no one was hurt and always do a proper check at junctions, although I'm sure you will without all of us on here telling you to x

Ilovesandwiches · 09/02/2022 20:52

I wouldn’t have pulled over either.
You did wrong and you realise this, we all make mistakes! I would be lying if I said I’ve never done something slightly similar. I hope you’re okay, we live and learn xxx

MumWithYOPD · 09/02/2022 20:57

If your vehicles didn’t make contact then no collision occurred so there’s no obligation to report it to the police. You might want to cover yourself if you think that the other driver is going to report the non collision. The other driver may have dash cam and report you for bad driving. Usually you can do these things online. If you don’t want to report I would suggest just writing everything down, basically your OP with dates, times and location so if the police or an insurance company wants to speak with you in a couple of months time you won’t forget anything.
My aim is not to make you worry I’m sure nothing will happen but I worked in traffic prosecutions for over 10 years and you’d be amazed what some people report.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 09/02/2022 21:02

Do you drive a lot OP?
I drive quite a bit over average miles per year and you see this sort of thing often. No one expects to stop and talk about it, tbh that would be weird

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