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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd name

98 replies

a1l320n · 09/02/2022 15:22

I’ve given my new born daughter daughter a name.

It is the same name as my brother’s wife sisters daughter. We live far away from my sister in law’s sister (150 miles) and I last saw her 4 years ago at her wedding with no plans to meet again - ie we don’t socialise together/live near by/or see eachother at all. I’ve no idea if we will meet again. Their daughter is 8 months old.

Is there a problem in having the same name? I didn’t think it would cause an issue. But it has.

I’ve had this name chosen for over 5 years (with messages to my dh to prove it) and didn’t think it would be an issue given the physical distance and that she’s not an immediate sibling or someone I have a daily/weekly/monthly interaction with.

OP posts:
Original poster
a1l320n · 09/02/2022 16:13

All 4 of them (brother wife and wife sister and dh). Was checking I’m not missing something
Genuinely Confused

OP posts:
HerbivorousRex · 09/02/2022 16:18

I honestly couldn’t tell you what my SIL’s siblings children are called and I wouldn’t worry in the slightest if we give our baby the same name as one of them.

My parents, my dad’s brother and my mum’s brother all have sons called Dan (it was the 90s). My BIL is also called Dan. It’s fine, no-one gets confused or cares.

Holly60 · 09/02/2022 16:29

That’s definitely on them. I would have no problem with this at all! No one owns a name

NewGlassesHappyGirl · 09/02/2022 16:38

My DD has two cousins with the same name, both in my family but one in my dads and one in my mums. Doesn't cause any issues at all and no-one got angry over it.

incognitoforthisone · 09/02/2022 16:43

It's a ridiculously tenuous family link we're talking about here. This is someone you barely know! Your child's name affects them in no way whatsoever. These people are bonkers.

Parpophone · 09/02/2022 16:45

@Cream123

All 4 of them (brother wife and wife sister and dh). Was checking I’m not missing something Genuinely Confused
Nobody "genuinely" needs to ask this.

Did you think that every single child that is born must be given a name that has never been used before?

PurBal · 09/02/2022 16:47

DH brother is called Sam. DH cousin called son Sam. Non issue and they’re actually related. I was trying to think who my own brothers wife sister is. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen her other that at their wedding. Very very distant.

LittleOwl153 · 09/02/2022 16:50

I guess if your DH has an issue with the name being used for his daughter then you might have a problem. But beyond that I don't think it is an issue. But folks do get daft over baby names.

sillysmiles · 09/02/2022 17:10

@Cream123

All 4 of them (brother wife and wife sister and dh). Was checking I’m not missing something Genuinely Confused
Ask your brother and wife - did they mean to centre themselves in your life? In a sarky and smiley tone Grin
Nutsabouttopic · 09/02/2022 17:11

She wouldn't want to live in our village....
We have a family who have a large number of children........ one of their sons is called Anthony and another is called Tony....

Goldfishmountainclimber · 09/02/2022 17:18

You go ahead with the name you want, OP. This just sounds like craziness!

Original poster
a1l320n · 09/02/2022 17:21

Sorry I mean DH of brother wife sister! My dh is confused as I am!

OP posts:
ILoveAllRainbowsx · 09/02/2022 17:26

Some people are worried about whether they should eat or heat and your relatives are worried about a name.

Change123today · 09/02/2022 17:26

I have a large family & two names are used twice by the cousins for their children! Really can’t see why this would be an issue! I know when we had our daughter a close friend of my husband was really nervous when he named his daughter the same 6 months later - they had always wanted to use the name and we didn’t know - but we don’t own the name so no problem with us!

Dixiechickonhols · 09/02/2022 17:27

Extremely tenuous link.
Only slight eyebrow raise if it’s something unusual with a unique spelling and you’ve copied it word for word eg Harmonee-Rae. If it’s a name like Grace or Alice I seriously wouldn’t think twice.

HelloKeith · 09/02/2022 17:28

What would your BIL and his wife have done if you and your DH, and her sister and her DH had already had children named Jack and Jill when they (BIL and SIL) met? Asked you to rename them?

Happyfeet45 · 09/02/2022 17:31

What is the name? If it's something popular then she really doesn't have a leg to stand on. If it's something quite unique and personal to them I could see why she might be a little perturbed. I'm guessing it's not though and she's just being precious about it.

Thatsplentyjack · 09/02/2022 17:34

Who told you it was a problem?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/02/2022 17:42

All it means is that your brother and sil have two nieces with the same name. It’s not your issue.

Sidhdbej · 09/02/2022 17:43

Ooo we had this in our family sort of, (I think it's the same but I get confused by brothers of sister of aunts etc.)

Anyway....I have 2 cousins with the exact same name, same middle name as well and no body has ever batter an eyelid. They are on different sides of the family so think they only met once at my wedding.

My point is it really really really doesn't matter and by the time the kids are 10 your brothers wife's sister (?) Is going to feel pretty stupid she ever cared Smile

Member984815 · 09/02/2022 17:46

I have cousins who have the same full names are the same age and are on the same side of the family. It was never an issue . Who has said it's a problem

Eycaluptus · 09/02/2022 17:46

I've never met my brothers wife's sister. I probably never will. No idea what their kids are called. What a bizarre thing to cause upset over! Enjoy your new baby! Don't change her name.

MysticCT · 09/02/2022 17:54

It's fine, my Nanny had four granddaughters with the same name, all born in the same year and two grandsons born years apart with the same name. Neither of the names were family names passed down.

MatildaTheCat · 09/02/2022 17:58

They are being very silly. So they will have two nieces with the same first name…so what? They are separate branches of the family.

Don’t engage, it will soon blow over.

WherezWally · 09/02/2022 18:01

No issue :-)

Congratulations and enjoy your precious daughter x

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