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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Annual Leave martyrs

268 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 09/02/2022 13:06

Am I being unreasonable to be really fed up of constant bragging from friends, colleagues etc about how much annual leave has got left at the end of the year! It's normally always said with a undertone of martyrdom as well;

"I've had to ask my boss for special permission to carry my leave over as I havent managed to use it all"

"Oh I've got 20 days leave left and I've got to use 10 up before the end of the year insert Mumsnet tinkly little laugh"

As an aside all of these people are in jobs where taking leave is encouraged and you're very flexible at getting time off. It's just strange when people seem to see it as a big competition about how much annual leave they can have left at the end of the year but then panic when they're expected to use it or lose it Hmm

OP posts:
Sillyotter · 09/02/2022 17:33

We have a policy of leave having to be spread across the year to avoid this situation of everyone rushing to book it at the end of the year.
I just book random chunks here and there even if I don’t have any plans. If I’m going to get paid I’d rather be getting paid to do nothing!

KisstheTeapot14 · 09/02/2022 17:37

We have 2 of these at work, love to complain how hard done by they are, have to be pushed by managers to use leave every bloody year.

I do not get it. Maybe they should give their leave to me!

GreyGoose1980 · 09/02/2022 17:39

See also people in office jobs with reasonable flexibility who come into work when they are Ill and spend ages signalling how unwell they are but how they can’t take any time off. Also people who send loads of non urgent emails cc’ing everyone in whilst they are on holiday to prove they are not taking a break. Ie boss sends email out to all the team about a new starter and virtue signalling person on annual leave replies ‘thanks for the update’ cc’ing in a few more senior managers!

AllOfUsAreDead · 09/02/2022 17:39

Yes totally not wrong. I am going to lose holiday this year but that's due to being off sick so it's kind of a given Grin I take my time off otherwise regularly throughout the year or I'll go mad and get pissed off easily at work. I need regular breaks to refresh. Dunno why most people don't take regular breaks you need them.

KitKat1985 · 09/02/2022 17:43

I just don't get it. I use all of my annual leave down to the nanosecond! I think that people's lives must be quite sad if they really can't think of anything they would rather be doing than going to work!

HesterShaw1 · 09/02/2022 17:45

I think there's a massively positive spin out on being single, and yes certain aspects of it are great. For example I like my own space, I like the fact that any mess in the house is mine, I like not being woken up by someone else in the night.

But the awesome bits of being single assume you have other single friends and a good social life. When these things aren't happening, it can be tremendously lonely, and loneliness is just awful. People talk about being able to hop on a plane with their girlfriends or go to concerts or meals or films like they're living in Sex and the City or something. Actually if you're single and childless for whatever reason in your 30s and 40s it's highly likely that all your friends are busy with partners and/or children. That's who they holiday with, spend money with, go to films with, spend Christmas with. And the lockdowns and restrictions have made this infinitely worse.

Some kind of happy medium would be wonderful!

HesterShaw1 · 09/02/2022 17:46

WTF??

Sorry, wrong thread 😳😳😳😳😳

Xmasbaby11 · 09/02/2022 17:46

Never come across anyone like that! People love booking their leave don't they, regardless of plans? I work at a uni and we get 33 days - we also have the option to buy another 10 days a year. Maybe people take this and enjoy their time off! Last year we had the option of 20 days extra and that was popular too!

stayathomer · 09/02/2022 17:46

Annual leave isn’t just for going to Greece/ Spain/ Australia/ wherever floats your boat!
I think some people actually think it is. I remember a colleague saying that she had nowhere to go and I said well how about doing something- go for a walk, read a book, stay in bed- have a duvet day! She looked at me like I was mad

TheHumanExperience · 09/02/2022 17:54

I'm always amused why it bothers people, what others do. Who cares. You do you and let them do what they like. As a parent, your selective hearing should be finely tuned by now, as should your skills at changing the subject.

HotChoc10 · 09/02/2022 17:57

@xmasbaby11 I also work at a uni and this is not an option for us! I would buy those days back before you could blink.

I get 27 days, the full two weeks around Christmas new year, and usually one extra day at easter. I thought that was good!

Nomoreusernames1244 · 09/02/2022 17:57

I quite often have a fair bit of leave left and end up having to take it just to use it up Blush.

Generally it’s because the kids activities are fairly unpredictable and I never know when I’ll need a week off to take them to some event or competition. So I save it just in case, and only take it if I have something on that day.

Last two years obviously no activities so have built up quite a bitBlush

OrangeShark27 · 09/02/2022 18:01

I work NHS and in my experience the managers who say "you need to manage your leave better" are also the managers who have cancelled half my annual leave and placed so many restrictions on taking the leave that the only options are a couple of Wednesdays mid February. There is no 2 weeks solid in my timetable I can take off.

Honestly I always have about 5 days left towards the end of the year. It makes sense to keep a few back incase I need them for whatever reason, I have to give six weeks notice so no I'm not booking it all at the start of the year. Also I work a lot of weekends and a lot of my days off are mid week anyway, and another midweek day doesn't exactly feel me with joy. Maybe I have no life but all my friends work so what am I gonna so mid week by myself?

OrangeShark27 · 09/02/2022 18:03

I also don't really see why it matters so much to people if others are like this. Some people have been quite vicious on this thread, and I don't know why it gets to you that much. People brag about a lot of things that I don't really care about but if I don't feel like it's something I should be doing it wouldn't bother me

Hoolihan · 09/02/2022 18:04

I've got one of these, always has weeks of leave left, comes in sick, answers emails when she's in Tenerife, works an extra hour every day at least. Because she's so so busy and so very important and absolutely INDISPENSABLE.

BurntO · 09/02/2022 18:07

One of these in my department. They think they’re really quirky but they actually just have nothing going on in their life and work is the only thing they have a small bit of control over ( they’re also shit at sharing knowledge because they want to be needed) she took leave last week and “popped in” cause she was boredConfused

OrangeShark27 · 09/02/2022 18:07

@stayathomer but if your single with no kids like you do a lot of that at the weekends anyway?

The odd duvet day is fine but not for a whole week. I don't really find that sort of day refreshes me it just kind of makes me feel a bit depressed. I like routine, I don't feel good when that routine is messed up and I've got nothing to do.

bumbledeedum · 09/02/2022 18:08

Not RTFT but yes! Also can't stand the competitiveness to work the most amount of unpaid overtime. It's like a race to the bottom. I miss living in NL sometimes where you'd (rightly) be looked at like you'd lost your mind for not using your leave or working excess hours regularly.

Blackmagicqueen · 09/02/2022 18:10

I'm guessing these people don't have kids or much of a life away from work.

daisypond · 09/02/2022 18:12

@AllOfUsAreDead

Yes totally not wrong. I am going to lose holiday this year but that's due to being off sick so it's kind of a given Grin I take my time off otherwise regularly throughout the year or I'll go mad and get pissed off easily at work. I need regular breaks to refresh. Dunno why most people don't take regular breaks you need them.
If you are off sick and can’t use your leave, you are entitled to carry 20 days over and you have 18 months in which to use it. I’ve just had to discuss this with my manager, as I’m in the same position.
gettingolderandgrumpy · 09/02/2022 18:20

Honestly every year the same colleague had at least 2 weeks to use up on the last few weeks but never shut up about it and would ask me his many days I had and when I said 2 or 3 would smirk . I mean it’s only because she couldn’t bare to be at home with her dh so wouldn’t take time off . so if it made her feel better that I was envious of her leftovers holidays then whatever. 🤷‍♀️

CruCru · 09/02/2022 18:22

What used to irritate me was when someone would, on being told that I would be holiday over {dates}, say “Oh, it’s alright for some!!!”

Everyone got an annual leave allowance. It was weird

TheOrigRights · 09/02/2022 18:24

@Blackmagicqueen

I'm guessing these people don't have kids or much of a life away from work.
Or they're SOOOO important the company can't manage without them that's bad management, love, not your unique skills
Blackmagicqueen · 09/02/2022 18:33

TheOrigRights Oh yes they love to think the company would crumble without their presence. I worked with a woman who loved to broadcast she had never had a day of sick and had 2 weeks annual left at the end of the leave period. If anybody was off unwell she would categorise them to others as "having a 'sick'day" as though they were a naughty child skiving school. She also would frown if anybody took over a week off in one go. Hmm

BoredZelda · 09/02/2022 18:38

These are people who are under the illusion that their work can't operate without them

They are also people who know nobody does their job if they aren’t there. At the moment where we have no option to go away on holiday, I’m not going to take a week off to do nothing in the house knowing I’ll be going back to a week’s worth of things that now are more urgent than they were.