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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annual Leave martyrs

268 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 09/02/2022 13:06

Am I being unreasonable to be really fed up of constant bragging from friends, colleagues etc about how much annual leave has got left at the end of the year! It's normally always said with a undertone of martyrdom as well;

"I've had to ask my boss for special permission to carry my leave over as I havent managed to use it all"

"Oh I've got 20 days leave left and I've got to use 10 up before the end of the year insert Mumsnet tinkly little laugh"

As an aside all of these people are in jobs where taking leave is encouraged and you're very flexible at getting time off. It's just strange when people seem to see it as a big competition about how much annual leave they can have left at the end of the year but then panic when they're expected to use it or lose it Hmm

OP posts:
chocolateorangeinhaler · 09/02/2022 13:32

YANBU I'm a manager and have constant whining about how tired they are want a break etc but have to constantly reminded to take their allowance or loose it.
They have all just lost their shit as the company have now said there will be no carry over for anyone this year. Must admit I did a little'told ya, told ya, told, told, told you so' dance in the privacy of my office.

Agrudge · 09/02/2022 13:35

@LadyFanny

See also, people who come into work sick.
I go in when sick I dont get paid to be off ill

I also dont whinge about being Ill either I just crack on

Boood · 09/02/2022 13:36

I feel sorry for them. They either don’t have the spare cash to spend on doing anything worth taking time off for, or nobody to do it with, or are so insecure at work they can’t cope with the idea that things will function without them. None of those are positions I’d want to be in. I buy extra holidays and still have to be careful about how many odd days I take so I don’t run out.

ThePinkOwl · 09/02/2022 13:36

It doesn't make any logical sense to not take the leave you're entitled to but....... I remember a period in my life when I was single, a bit depressed after a long term breakup, at odds with myself and not really sure what I wanted to do with my life. I was in a good job with a large annual leave allowance. I liked being at work. It gave me comfort. I found the weekends hard. I couldn't face long stretches of unstructured time. I didn't really have anyone to go on holiday with. Didn't have the confidence to do much on my own. I was that person with lots of untaken leave at the end of the year. Don't think I was a martyr about it but people probably thought I was a loser. I thought it of myself...

You should take your leave though!!

Monopolyiscrap · 09/02/2022 13:36

Along with people who never take their lunch break when they can, as they are just so busy. I used to work with people like this. I always took my lunch break and still did more than them.

Dobedodo · 09/02/2022 13:37

I have been that person! I couldn’t afford to go on an actual holiday so most of my leave was taken as long weekends and I’d always save it up assuming I’d find something better to do with it. I would then end up regretting it when I had about 15 days in November /December sat on my own at home.

Cam2020 · 09/02/2022 13:38

I’d pity them tbh. They’ve obviously got nothing else going on in their lives.

Definitely this!
Who does it benefit if people are burnt out and snappy as a result of lack on holiday?

See also, people who come into work sick.

I was really guilty of this pre-covid. I blame conditioning from years of working in companies where being sick, or human in any way really, was frowned upon. Perhaps the holiday thing is the same.

godmum56 · 09/02/2022 13:39

I used to manage people like this.....I used to just let them lose it Grin similarly with TOIL....people who racked it up were put into "agreed TOIL only" and yes to the told ya so dance.

Drinkingallthewine · 09/02/2022 13:40

@LadyFanny

See also, people who come into work sick.
And oddly, they also seem to have very high levels of sick days.
Anyonebut · 09/02/2022 13:42

I have seen someone mention here that a lot of workplaces are suspicious of people not taking leave as it could indicate they are doing something they shouldn’t and they don’t dare be away for too long in case it all comes light while they’re not there. Maybe you should ask your coworker what exactly they are doing during work hours Grin

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 09/02/2022 13:42

@LadyCleathStuart

I also know a flexi time martyr as well (Civil Service).
Her: "Urgh I've got meetings till 4, I have too much Flexi now I can't finish at 3"
Me: "Can't you just start later..."

That always throws her a bit as she's expecting me to launch into a speech about how hard done too she is. I don't bite. Grin

OP posts:
Singlebutmarried · 09/02/2022 13:43

I got grumpy the last two years as there was literally no point in taking holiday to go absolutely nowhere. I felt quite resentful at having to take it and not able to carry any over.

However I got over myself and took the leave, even if it did mean I was stuck at home (2020 particularly) doing the same as every other day (I work PT).

I’ve not booked anything in yet this year as I want to be able to go away. So I’m hedging my bets.

Monopolyiscrap · 09/02/2022 13:45

I have come into work sick. I have a chronic illness and if I stayed home every time I was ill, I would be sacked.

CharityDingle · 09/02/2022 13:47

@OfstedOffred

Oh gosh I always pity people who've not used up their annual leave.

Like they have nothing better to do than work.
Meanwhile I'm there adding it up twenty five times and shouting in triumph I've a half day left so will be going home at noon on 31 jan rather than waste it

That's me - the adding it up, and subtracting and trying to stretch it.

I worked with two different AL martyrs. One used to mention that she had (I forget exactly) sixty something days 'stashed'. The guy had even more than that. I genuinely didn't understand it. Both were people who enjoyed travelling, her with her husband, him with his friends. But obviously the workplace would crash down if they took their AL. #sarcasm

ShadowPuppets · 09/02/2022 13:48

Haha, we've just had this in our office. One of my colleagues questioning why we can buy holiday but not sell it because he 'never uses his because he's too busy'.

As someone who's about to take her second maternity leave in 3 years I kept my beak shut Grin

I disagree with PP above though about people who work through lunch. I work through my lunch (mostly! Not right now...) because it means I can walk out the door on the dot of 5.30 and not have to worry about doing anything in the evening. Don't see the point in taking a full hour to wander around the shops and then have to sit at my desk until 5.50pm finishing something off. I'd rather be finished 20 mins early and have a browse online if I finish everything for the day before it's time to go home.

GreenDressRedWine · 09/02/2022 13:48

It can occasionally be suspicious too, I once had to use a workplace investigator and they said that people who didn’t like taking leave were seen as a red flag in the first stages of white collar crime investigations as they don’t want anyone else going through the invoices etc

Monopolyiscrap · 09/02/2022 13:48

@Drinkingallthewine yes some people have chronic illnesses, take time off sick when they can barely get into the office never mind work, and come in ill the rest of the time.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 09/02/2022 13:51

I have managed a couple of these. They both had other issues going on in reality which meant that they didn't like time off, struggled with weekends.

CocoPancakes · 09/02/2022 13:51

So annoying. Why boast about the fact you have no life. I mean, even before I had people who actually wanted to spend personal time with me, I'd still take my annual leave and just veg on the sofa eating wotsits for a week.
They will be the same people who send out emails at 5am or 9pm to make sure we all know how busy and committed they are.

DaisyWaldron · 09/02/2022 13:52

I hoard annual leave for unexpected need - sick children, hen parties, birthday parties, children's plays and concerts and sports matches, family gatherings etc are all things that don't come with a year's warning.

It's probably less important to save holiday if you work Mon-Fri.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 09/02/2022 13:52

Yep. I used to manage our leave system. It was the same people every year. As far as I was concerned - and being a manager myself - it was a management issue. Team leafs should be monitoring who isn't taking leave, and finding out why.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 09/02/2022 13:53

Leafs? Leads, obvs.

JauntyJinty · 09/02/2022 13:56

I think i might have accidently been one of these at the end of last year but only becasue all my plans kept getting cancelled/pushed back! I ended up having the week before Christmas off just to spend time with the kids - it was lovely!

I've usually used all mine by the end of summer!

Whatafustercluck · 09/02/2022 13:56

Yanbu. That said, I know one colleague who is always in demand, brilliant at her job, super intelligent and massively put on by everyone. She puts her teams first and will therefore only take leave when there's no danger of something heinous hitting the fan (and in her professional world, that is a frequent occurrence). It's not fair that she feels unable to take leave when she wants to. I feel genuinely sorry that she's in that position. She takes disproportionate responsibility for those around her who are simply lazy.

Whelmed · 09/02/2022 13:57

I'm guilty of this and so is everyone on my team. It makes our manager's life tricky and she keeps having to remind us to get it booked but I think because spring and summer are busy for us and leave is restricted so it really just leaves winter and autumn and kids are in school so can't do much anyways.