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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annual Leave martyrs

268 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 09/02/2022 13:06

Am I being unreasonable to be really fed up of constant bragging from friends, colleagues etc about how much annual leave has got left at the end of the year! It's normally always said with a undertone of martyrdom as well;

"I've had to ask my boss for special permission to carry my leave over as I havent managed to use it all"

"Oh I've got 20 days leave left and I've got to use 10 up before the end of the year insert Mumsnet tinkly little laugh"

As an aside all of these people are in jobs where taking leave is encouraged and you're very flexible at getting time off. It's just strange when people seem to see it as a big competition about how much annual leave they can have left at the end of the year but then panic when they're expected to use it or lose it Hmm

OP posts:
PeeAche · 09/02/2022 16:28

Oh my god, yes.

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 09/02/2022 16:31

@LadyFanny

See also, people who come into work sick.
They are the pits....

Sniffing, coughing, throwing dirty tissues into the bins, infecting everyone else......

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/02/2022 16:34

I’m a carrier.

No bragging. No tinkly little laugh. Fuck all to do with self importance.

Just chronic staff shortage with covid and a myriad of other stuff. And ‘tactical sick leave’. Usually weekends/big games etc.

Sometimes it is necessity rather than martyrdom.

In all the years I’ve been working, I think I could count on one hand the amount of years I’ve not carried over leave.

Cheekypeach · 09/02/2022 16:39

YANBU. ‘Oh look at me, I work so hard, I haven’t even taken half of my measly leave allowance off’

It’s like what have you got no life outside of work Confused

Another category of annoying colleague are the ones who work insanely long hours (think 12 or 13 a day), make a huge song and dance of how tired they are & sigh whenever anyone approaches them, but then convert the excess to flexi leave & take a week off every month Hmm

Tryingtokeepgoing · 09/02/2022 16:39

@Casheeeew

See also "I've worked here 15 years and never taken one day off sick".

Well at my work you're entitled to three paid instances of sickness, so missing 15 years of that makes you a mug.

I have very little time for people who can’t manage their holiday entitlement, but sickness is a little different surely? Taking 3 days a year off just ‘because’ if you’re not actually ill but ‘entitled’ to paid sick days is a bit off IMO.
pinkgingham · 09/02/2022 16:41

Yes there are some of these at my work. I pity them to be honest as we're not in a sector known for glamour and high pay. The annual leave and flexibility are some of the only main benefits so I don't know why they still work there if they're not interested in those.

BoredZelda · 09/02/2022 16:44

I had 15 days left last October. My boss kept having a go at me for not using my holidays but then “oh can you just do….” on the days I had booked as holidays. Of course I could have said no, but then I get a harder time. But when I booked time off to deal with my daughter’s surgery, he told me I didn’t need to, I could just take some family time.

I don’t say it to brag, and I’m not at risk of burnout, when WFH, and having no opportunity to actually go away anywhere, I don’t really need the days anyway.

JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 09/02/2022 16:45

A colleague of mine who is known for this actually commented on how much leave I take. Implying that I take lots of time off despite me having the same allowance as him.

Shodan · 09/02/2022 16:45

XH used to be like this.

He was VERY BUSY you know. ALL the time. Couldn't possibly use all his AL. Company would fall apart.

Unless it was for golf days. Then apparently the poor company had to sink or swim without him. Sad

Monopolyiscrap · 09/02/2022 16:48

If you are a manager and the company wont operate if you are not there, then things are either very badly set up, or you are a poor manager.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/02/2022 16:50

Some will be down to covid. I’ve got a lot of leave left due to not going on annual holiday last year (I am booked off on hols before year end)
Wfh has helped too no half days for boiler servicing, deliveries, dentist etc.
I can understand saving for emergencies too.

ChooseYourUsernameWisely · 09/02/2022 16:56

Oh I always take my leave!

That said, I’ve been looked down on and she works ‘term time’ only!

tigger1001 · 09/02/2022 17:00

"Companies can't opt out of sick pay"

Many companies only pay ssp and for many people they cannot afford that. My partner only gets ssp and as a result kept holidays to use in case of covid. We were very thankful of that at the start of January when we were covid positive.

And that's the reality for lots of people. Not everyone who keeps back holidays does so to be a martyr. It can be because they want that cushion for unexpected days off needed.

I have holidays still to be used that in all
Honestly are likely not to be used this year. We don't get to carry forward any time to the next year but if you don't take them, you get them paid. I work different hours in term time than I do holiday time so despite taking holidays every school holiday I still have hours to use. I will struggle to get anything other than the odd day in the calendar as lots of staff have holidays left and there is likely only going to be a skeleton staff in.

But if I don't need the time off I would rather have the pay.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 09/02/2022 17:02

My colleague does this. She will book it then cancel it and if we're short staffed go on about what a hero she was for cancelling. Then takes every Friday afternoon for the last two months of the year and go on about how she hasn't had a proper break. I take week long leave but not normally an actual holiday. The worst was 2020. I took a week off that April but spent it in my garden as dd was off school. She cancelled hers as she couldn't go away and then was a martyr about it 🤨

starfishmummy · 09/02/2022 17:03

@AryaStarkWolf

Literally never come across these people!
Lucky you. I'm married to one of them. Coincidentally we had yet another conversation about it yesterday. Once again he listened, agreed with me that he needs to take some time off and no doubt will do exactly as he always does, which is nothing.
Monopolyiscrap · 09/02/2022 17:04

SSP is £93 a week and not payable for the first 3 days of illness. I have worked in places where people too ill to come to work ring in and ask to take it as annual leave, because they need to be paid.

SweetFelicityArkright · 09/02/2022 17:06

@PushingAnElephantUpTheStairs

There are those who have tried, and failed, to take annual leave during the pandemic due to staff shortages and the fact that they can't just walk away and let their jobs not be done. Not everyone can 'manage their time' when the nature of their job is responsive to the needs of others.

(Not me - I'm a teacher so holidays are a non issue.)

Exactly, it's not me badly managing my time or being a martyr, it's the sector as a whole badly managing everything so that we're so short staffed to start with, add covid to that and we have A/L cancelled or not approved in the first place, they don't want to pay us it either but if they're refusing to let you take it they've got no choice. I'd love a week or 2 off, in fact I'd have loved the week or 2 off I had already booked.

As for being off sick, well I don't get paid (above SSP which even on my wage is about a 1/4 of my earnings) and if that's not enough then there's the calls and texts asking if you're 'sure' you're ill and the comments and twittering about how you've let the other staff and residents down, and if you say no to extra shifts then more of the same.

Never occurs to them that actually, as the provider it's their bloody job to cover holidays and sickness as part of their business, not ours as employees.

ItsSunnyOutside · 09/02/2022 17:07

I used to work with quite a few of these! The annoying thing was, they would then have to use it all in big lumps around the same time as one another, which left staffing issues and meant we had to pick up the extra workload. I know that's something management could have helped manage better, but still!

RonCarlos · 09/02/2022 17:09

Every year of my working life until last year I spent January to March with no leave remaining and felt the same about this odd breed of people.

But the pandemic meant I wracked up loads of flexi and for the first time was one of these people last year. However, I always take time off regularly. Otherwise life feels a bit pointless and I burn out.

Cbtb · 09/02/2022 17:11

I may be one of these. Thing is I need to keep some leave “in the bag” for when DD inevitably gets sick and then have to rush to use it if I haven’t. Also no one does my work when I’m not in so taking leave when I’m not actually going away holiday just means a rubbish week when I get back of having to stay late to catch up and getting told off for not making deadlines - it’s not really worth it!

TinyTear · 09/02/2022 17:13

i tend to save leave for inset days, emergency illnesses from kids and so on, so end up having 3/4 days I need to take in November/december as i can't carry over

but i do think that is sensible as it means i have a few days to do christmas shopping

grlwhowrites · 09/02/2022 17:17

Orrrr there's my manager who is off every school holiday without fail, and then some, but then claims they just know how to "play the system" and supposedly add AL onto bank holidays etc while the rest of us aren't allowed time off while she's off. I had to wait till November to take my leave last year bc she was off so much! Not to mention, we cover her workload when she's off and get no extra pay. I need a new job.

smooshraspberry · 09/02/2022 17:18

YANBU

These are people who are under the illusion that their work can't operate without them

Isonthecase · 09/02/2022 17:24

It's so annoying isn't it? I tell them it's equivalent to taking a pay cut and give them plenty of warning they won't get long holidays right before the holiday year ends or special exemptions to carry over. And they still don't book it!

That said there are exceptions. I've had to carry some over two years in a row due to some fairly unusual circumstances and it has been really annoying.

YouPutTheScrewInTheTuna · 09/02/2022 17:27

Yep, it's very irritating. I currently manage a team of 30 and I would say at least 4 have nothing booked for the year, and I have booked the full year for at least 3 of them (in discussion together). We don't do carryover and have a blackout in November. I've just given everyone a final deadline end of this week and I shall be booking the remaining in where it least impacts the business... they have had 6 months notice with regular updates, emails and personalised letters reminding them yet still some don't take it! Anyone who wants to work for free beyond that... well it's up to them I guess!