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AIBU?

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Original poster

Annual Leave martyrs

268 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 09/02/2022 13:06

Am I being unreasonable to be really fed up of constant bragging from friends, colleagues etc about how much annual leave has got left at the end of the year! It's normally always said with a undertone of martyrdom as well;

"I've had to ask my boss for special permission to carry my leave over as I havent managed to use it all"

"Oh I've got 20 days leave left and I've got to use 10 up before the end of the year insert Mumsnet tinkly little laugh"

As an aside all of these people are in jobs where taking leave is encouraged and you're very flexible at getting time off. It's just strange when people seem to see it as a big competition about how much annual leave they can have left at the end of the year but then panic when they're expected to use it or lose it Hmm

OP posts:
FoxRedLabbingtons · 09/02/2022 13:57

Oh yes! When I worked for the Local Authority we had a few of those. It baffled me what they must do in their working hours that I didn't, since we basically had the same caseloads, job type and responsibilities (maybe their paperclip stash was in better order or something). They were generally the same people who were constantly complaining about being too busy, overworked and behind on their admin. I now work for myself and take 15 weeks leave a year. I also only work three days a week, and sometimes take a couple of hours off to do the garden or have a swim. It's bloody lovely, and it makes me much better at my job.

SilverGlassHare · 09/02/2022 13:58

TBF in some jobs, even when annual leave is very flexible is and mangement encourage you to do so, sometimes you can be so busy that it's hard to find time. I have 10 days left to take by the end of the financial year - I will carry over five days probably, and take the rest before then BUT in my role taking leave can be as stressful as not taking it because no-one else does my tasks when I'm away and they just pile up waiting for me to get back. I had a long weekend at the end of January and it took me over a week to get back on top of my inbox (and tbh there's definitely things I'm still behind with). Knowing you're going to come back into the office to 500+ emails takes quite a bit of the fun out of having a few days off.

Orchid876 · 09/02/2022 13:59

Unfortunately my DH is like this because he is bad at managing his time. I don't have this issue because I'm a teacher so used to having time off when he's working. Throughout the year he'll resist taking time off because he's too busy, and then come February he'll need to take a day off a week to use up leave, which will be spent just pottering about the house because everyone else is at work and school. Luckily I only work part-time and he's fully involved at the weekend so I get what I think is a reasonable amount of time to myself. If I didn't, I'd find this massively annoying!

Casheeeew · 09/02/2022 13:59

See also "I've worked here 15 years and never taken one day off sick".

Well at my work you're entitled to three paid instances of sickness, so missing 15 years of that makes you a mug.

HerRoyalNotness · 09/02/2022 14:00

My H is like this. We’ll have a 2 week break and he’ll say, oh I only had to use 3days holiday I think they can accumulate 6mths holiday though, so no need to use it. I just look at him like Hmm wtf is he saving it for

EllaVaNight · 09/02/2022 14:02

I've never experienced people being a martyr about it but I work in care and many of us have had our leave cancelled due to being short staffed so people are just stating facts. We're allowed to carry it over though as it isn't our fault.

TheOrigRights · 09/02/2022 14:02

One of my colleagues claimed he wasn't sure whether he could take a sick day as he hasn't been ill since he started working for the company.

The company is one of the most flexible you could think of - we all work remotely (internationally) and have the freedom to pretty much manage our work as we wish.

During lockdowns our management could not have been more supportive when it came to people needing time to manage home learning and/or caring responsibilities - family first - always.

As if in a million years someone would turn round and tell him he couldn't take time off sick. Bizarre.

fuzzyduck1 · 09/02/2022 14:04

I work with a couple of people like that.
Then they just disappear for December because they have to use their holiday up before the end of the year.
It really dumps the rest of the team in the shit.

HoneyFlowers · 09/02/2022 14:04

Wow as soon as I got a/l I went straight to the diary and booked the whole lot out across the year!

SweetFelicityArkright · 09/02/2022 14:06

I've had 2 lots of annual leave cancelled since Christmas, no scope to rearrange before April, will get paid for it instead.
You bet I'm moaning about it!

And I don't feel all virtuous about earning a pittance and being guilt tripped about working extra hours, I feel poor and tired. But you know 'duty of care' and all that, a phrase people are fond of throwing around these days where social care and the NHS is concerned.

celiamary · 09/02/2022 14:09

We met one of those recently who is also carrying half the local hospital load as well. "You wouldn't believe the pressure we are under." "The whole of the NHS etc etc......
After she had moved away from us another friend explained that she works in the same dept and has never come under undue pressure nor had leave problems. Neither have DC, Yes they are busy but that is all.

Justcallmebebes · 09/02/2022 14:09

And people who come to work hours earlier than they should and then moan constantly that they're being taken advantage of

GrannieD · 09/02/2022 14:10

I’ve dipped into next years holidays already for a cheeky week in sun !

IVFNewbie · 09/02/2022 14:10

Some jobs, esp. sales jobs, people get paid more if they work more- a good incentive to not take holiday. I struggle to take all my holiday and lost 12 days last year. I don't think of myself as a martyr, but I do enjoy earning and having the extra cash.

SalsaLove · 09/02/2022 14:11

I don’t come from a holiday culture and still tend to feel uncomfortable about taking more than a week at a time. It’s not about being a martyr, just what I’m used to.

thecatsthecats · 09/02/2022 14:12

I had to virtually Chinese burn my staff into taking leave during the worst lockdowns, in spite of the fact they were blatantly a bit worn out and frazzled. I was taking leave, and they kept asking me why

So I don't have to put up with you mardy fuckers for a day maybe?

The worst members of staff I've ever had were the martyrs to the cause. No sense of perspective to inform business decisions, and so burned out they didn't realise that their contributions were shite and their work practices inefficient to downright dangerous. Give me a well rested employee with a good sense of proportion any day of the week.

EllaVaNight · 09/02/2022 14:12

See also, people who come into work sick I don't think that's really the same seeing as only privileged people can get by on sick pay or nothing at all.

Mary46 · 09/02/2022 14:13

Yes op you are right. I have a life too lol. I worked for a builder he was picky about days off...

LampLighter414 · 09/02/2022 14:13

Good for them.

Don't bring up the subject if you don't want to hear about it, or move the conversation swiftly on.

CrinklyCraggy · 09/02/2022 14:13

People with lots of leave left ATM are selfishly saving it for when travelling is easier IMO. They didn't want to waste it on trips that might not happen or when there was nowhere to go.

They might be telling you it's because they're so important they can't take leave, but that's not the real reason and it will be a real pain for their colleagues when everyone's trying to book it.

HelloFrostyMorning · 09/02/2022 14:14

@Ionlydomassiveones

I’d pity them tbh. They’ve obviously got nothing else going on in their lives.
This. ^ I know someone who works in the civil service (wfh) and he said in November that he still had 19 days leave left. (out of 25 days.) Hmm Like it's a badge of honour, and you're oh-so-very-special and amazing if you have loads left.

As the poster said ^ you must have a dull and boring and uneventful life if you still have 80% of your yearly leave left by mid November. Boils me piss it does. Hmm

It's always the ones with piss easy jobs with flexible working hours. Other (less fortunate) NEED the leave, and well as wanting it.

Ozanj · 09/02/2022 14:15

During the past 2 years a lot of people i know where ‘working from home’ while on holiday. Not sure how that worked exactly but when they bragged about not taking their leave they shut up when I called them fraudsters. I imagine a lot of people probably did similar.

Pedalpushers · 09/02/2022 14:16

I would have thought a lot of people had struggled to adjust to taking annual leave when wfh during the pandemic, I certainly did and ended up with tons left as I had nowhere to go and nothing to do! But odd to make a big thing about it, martyrdom in general is very annoying.

HotChoc10 · 09/02/2022 14:16

Oh no I'm worried this is me. I would never not take all my annual leave but I do like to leave some of it right to the end so I always have some left to play with in case!

TheOrigRights · 09/02/2022 14:17

@SalsaLove

I don’t come from a holiday culture and still tend to feel uncomfortable about taking more than a week at a time. It’s not about being a martyr, just what I’m used to.
That's OK. It's absolutely your business (and your manager's I guess if they want their staff to take their leave), but I bet you don't harp on about it.