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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher said she thinks dd5 has a learning disability or special needs

125 replies

Slavetolove · 08/02/2022 19:14

Dd5 has a speech delay. She has since she could talk, Iv been fighting for speech therapy. Obviously covid hasn’t helped the situation. She’s 5 (6 in July) and in year 1.

She’s behind on her reading, spelling and obviously her speech. But it’s all linked because she’s spelling it how she thinks you say it. She has a therapist at school and an nhs one who has been out a few times to see how she’s getting on.

Today was her parents evening and her teacher said she thinks she has special needs and/or a learning disability.
She just said for me to chase up with the health visitor but surely that can’t be it?

We’ve always joked she had adhd. She barely sleeps, not so bad now but bevfore she would be up at 3/4am every single day. It’s now 5.30 no matter what time she goes bed.
She is non stop. She doesn’t stop talking, she can’t do anything longer than a min and is constantly moving from one thing to another. But she is so clever and funny. Her drawings are amazing and she remembers literally everything. But she has a temper and is hard work. We joked If she was our first she would be our last.

I’m abit emotional. I don’t know where to turn or what to do?

OP posts:

Howshouldibehave · 09/02/2022 07:14

Don’t be surprised if an EP is not available to come into school-some of these posts make it seem like the school can just fill out a form and one pops in! There is a huge national shortage of EPs and in many areas all they do is statutory work (ie after the school have already requested an EHCNA). Some schools will pay for a private EP to come in once or twice a year, most can’t afford this.

I would speak to the SENCo, but if you think it’s ADHD-that’s a parental request for a paeds referral in my area via the GP.

HelloDulling · 09/02/2022 07:20

Find out this morning who the SENCO person at school is, and arrange an appointment to see them.

Notoschool · 09/02/2022 07:58

My son is 6 in year 2. He had general extra help In nursery and reception. Then when he joined key stage 1 he had more intervention. But he had been under peadatrition since he was 2. So it had Already been established that there was some sort of SEN before he actally started school. He has alot of 121 small group work. He now has a diagnosis of autism and school are now applying for a 121 for him. Thorough echp.

The senco at our school are fantastic they have basically done everything for me all o had to do was read through and sign things.

It could be they gave said to talk to hv so that they cam refer to peadatrition. To get the ball rolling for (if) there would be a diagnosis. It also opens doors for other support within the school.

Original poster

Slavetolove · 09/02/2022 08:28

She had it checked at audiology last year x

OP posts:

Original poster

Slavetolove · 09/02/2022 08:30

Iv just logged into edukeyapp? Where it says they are trying to teach her to speak slower as well. Theyeve added a thing saying they are checking her for leaning and cognitive disabilities

OP posts:

MyOtherProfile · 09/02/2022 09:40

You definitely need a meeting with the sendco.

Howshouldibehave · 09/02/2022 16:06

@Gowithme

I think you need to ask the teacher why she thinks this, what behaviour makes her think so and what she suspects it could be - is it due to her being behind or is it her being non stop. My son's school got a lady from SEND to come and observe him and she was brilliant, she basically went round schools observing children so had so much experience and was so helpful. I wonder if your school could do something like that?

SEND just means Special Educational needs/disabilities-it isn’t a department of staff waiting to help.

Possibly some LEAs still have specialist or advisory SEN teachers who will come and visit pupils in schools, many don’t.

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/02/2022 16:15

@Tricked2003

It is one of the hardest things to hear .........but if you think there is even the smallest chance that she may have some additional needs then the best thing you can do is follow it up asap.

I agree. The teacher isn't making a negative judgement about your child she is trying to find the best way to get her the help she needs. It is possible that she might not have expressed herself very well though.

MyOtherProfile · 09/02/2022 17:28

But it isn't up to the teacher to say this kind of thing. The teacher can talk about actual issues where the child isn't doing what they would expect but not attempt to diagnose a learning disability. They need to show what the child isn't doing, show what they are putting place to try and target these and then if this doesn't make a difference they can call in the ed psych or whoever.

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/02/2022 17:50

As I said, she may not have expressed it well but we don't know what words the teacher used. In any case its not a value judgement suggesting a child needs help.

Original poster

Slavetolove · 09/02/2022 21:11

So I spoke to the teacher.

Her concerns are that her speech, reading, writing and spelling are all behind and that she’s struggling with some concepts of maths. I asked if her behaviour in school is ok and she said the speech and language lady said she took two stickers instead of one and lied that she had two so she pushes it sometimes

She said that are trying to get her to talk abit slower instead of rushing her sentences.

Iv rang the actual nhs s&l and she’s still on the actual waiting list to be seen!
We are looking at going private I think.

OP posts:

Kitkat151 · 09/02/2022 22:40

@Slavetolove

So I spoke to the teacher.

She said that are trying to get her to talk abit slower instead of rushing her sentences.

Iv rang the actual nhs s&l and she’s still on the actual waiting list to be seen!
We are looking at going private I think.

It’s a years waiting list for SALT where we are in NW

Notoschool · 10/02/2022 06:55

@Slavetolove

So I spoke to the teacher.

She said that are trying to get her to talk abit slower instead of rushing her sentences.

Iv rang the actual nhs s&l and she’s still on the actual waiting list to be seen!
We are looking at going private I think.

The SALT who saw her in school were they not the actual NHS one. They go into my my sons school and see a handful of children. It's definitely the proper ones I get in depth reports .

Maybe you could ask for a copy of the report. Then it will probably be more clear to you

MyOtherProfile · 10/02/2022 07:23

The SALT who saw her in school will be from the same team as the one you're on the waiting list for. I would just ask for her to continue being seen by the one who comes in to school. That's the least the school should be doing.

Howshouldibehave · 10/02/2022 07:43

The SALT who saw her in school will be from the same team as the one you're on the waiting list for.

It wouldn’t be in many schools. Where NHS SaLT is unavailable, a lot of school pay for their own SaLT to come in-ours works on rotation across about 6 schools at the moment. She doesn’t work for the NHS at all any more so isn’t in a team.

toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2022 07:50

What interventions are they doing to help your DD?

MyOtherProfile · 10/02/2022 20:09

@Howshouldibehave

The SALT who saw her in school will be from the same team as the one you're on the waiting list for.

That's interesting. In the two counties I work the SALTs who work in schools are all part of the NHS teams. There are some private SALTs around but the schools can't afford them.

lljkk · 10/02/2022 21:36

How long has she been getting SLT for?

How is her speech delay described to you by the SLT & what homework do you do to help improve her speech?

what stage is she at -- is her situation

can't hear the difference in sound from her substitute sound (ie, T for K)
doesn't notice the difference in sound between (say) T & K
doesn't know what a mouth does to make the sound
doesn't have habit of making the sound

I'm not a SLT, but DC had quite a bit of SLT ...

Attwoodsladyfriend · 12/05/2022 21:45

I’m not going to add to the practical advice here. This is my thoughts about YOU, OP.

my eldest was formally diagnosed with Asperger’s type autism at 6. I had what I think was a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t even speak without crying, I was shocked and scared and reacted really badly whenever anyone suggested further help or assessments. It felt like I was being plunged repeatedly into icy water. I felt terribly alone too, his behaviour picked him out from his peers, and not all of the school gate mums were supportive. His school was nothing short of a disgrace.

hes 13 now, a strong handsome funny, sweet gentle boy. He’s holding his own at seniors and I twigged that he was still the same adorable child I had been so frightened for.

Theres a lot of advice and support for the child, and yet I found very little for the parent of the newly diagnosed. In the end another parent of a child with ASD took me under her wing and I met other parents in the same boat. You have to find your tribe.

what I wish I had known is, it will be ok. Really, it will. 99% of the things I worried about for him, never happened. Hang in there OP. Lots of love x

mytrueaccount · 12/05/2022 23:28

haven't yet read the full thread, but two quick points:

ask the school (usually you should start with the SENCO or SENDCO) to refer your daughter for assessment. I bet there are delays (blamed on pandemic, but there always were delays), but if it turns out she does have special needs, you WILL need NHS assessments and Local Education Authority help. And there is a procedure, starting from the school.
don't panic -- people saying this or that will not change whatever is the case. But if there is something there, the earlier you can get help for DD the better. If there's nothing there, no harm no foul as Jack Reacher (that action hero!) says.

mytrueaccount · 12/05/2022 23:30

Ok, reading more of the thread, a third point -- if you take her directly to a private doctor, look for a developmental paediatrician, and when you get the report take it to your NHS GP and ask for urgent referral. NHS GPs know very well, in my experience, how backed up the system is and generally know full well why parents are forced private for the first assessment.

SnowWhitesMum · 12/05/2022 23:51

SENCO and then also request that teacher gets a little more training on or from scratch if they've not got any SEN knowledge, very unprofessional telling you that way and then just letting you leave without offering any advice.

bridgetreilly · 13/05/2022 00:00

Speech impediments can be a sign of dyspraxia. Does she have any other things which might be related to that?

PixieLaLa · 13/05/2022 00:11

This reply has been deleted

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PixieLaLa · 13/05/2022 00:19

Her concerns are that her speech, reading, writing and spelling are all behind and that she’s struggling with some concepts of maths. I asked if her behaviour in school is ok

so your DD is clearly struggling academically but you want to focus on whether her behaviour is ok?! Poor girl 😔

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