Teacher said she thinks dd5 has a learning disability or special needs

[Slavetolove]

Dd5 has a speech delay. She has since she could talk, Iv been fighting for speech therapy. Obviously covid hasn’t helped the situation. She’s 5 (6 in July) and in year 1.

She’s behind on her reading, spelling and obviously her speech. But it’s all linked because she’s spelling it how she thinks you say it. She has a therapist at school and an nhs one who has been out a few times to see how she’s getting on.

Today was her parents evening and her teacher said she thinks she has special needs and/or a learning disability.
She just said for me to chase up with the health visitor but surely that can’t be it?

We’ve always joked she had adhd. She barely sleeps, not so bad now but bevfore she would be up at 3/4am every single day. It’s now 5.30 no matter what time she goes bed.
She is non stop. She doesn’t stop talking, she can’t do anything longer than a min and is constantly moving from one thing to another. But she is so clever and funny. Her drawings are amazing and she remembers literally everything. But she has a temper and is hard work. We joked If she was our first she would be our last.

I’m abit emotional. I don’t know where to turn or what to do?

I think the hv age range has increased recently so worth checking as they can sort heating tests etc.
I would speak to the head teacher to ask about the support they are going to put in place.
It’s a shock but better sooner.

It depends on the area what happens so before seeing the GP see the SENCO to identify the concern. In this area community paediatrics will not accept referrals for ADHD from the GP only the school however ASD referrals can come from GP or school. If they are thinking along the lines of dyslexia or specific learning need then that will be a school referral to an educational psychologist after in school screening. Dyspraxia goes to paeds but only after school have completed first level interventions... I think you need more info !!

She sounds like my DD was at that age. The school issues and hyperactivity. She was/ is also bright, funny and good at drawing. She had significant speech delay and pronunciation issues which are much improved but ongoing. She is now 9. She has recently been diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD has been ruled out.

We also pursued a behavioural optometrist and she has been given bi-focals. And ordinary eye test did not diagnose the issue.

She has various aids to assist her in school and she is improving but not reading fluently yet. She goes to a out of small group for other children with dyslexia and she is much more confident.

This may not be your daughter’s issue but it is good that the school have identified things early.

OTOH, my son also had severe speech delay and was slow in Y1 and 2. In Y3, he soared and now in Y7, he is above average with perfect speech.

It sounds like the teacher doesn’t know what she’s doing. It would be usual for teacher to raise concerns with Senco and then they will investigate and speak to you in a more tactful way.
I echo getting hearing checked if you haven’t, it has an enormous impact on learning. It’s also pretty difficult to recognise without the full screening as they don’t always appear to be struggling but can be missing specific sounds in speech.

How does her speech delay manifest? Is it a stutter?

I find it really odd that a teacher raised such vague concerns ,with no further advice,support or suggestions and without you previously talking to the SENCO.

First step is ring the school and arrange a meeting with the SENCO . Tell them in advance what the teacher said and ask them to ask for clarification. Once you see them ask what exactly do they suspect, what are their areas of concern, what are they doing to help and what do they suggest. Some schools can refer for assessments. In others you have to go to the GP yourself.

Listen to their concerns,see if they match yours and her behaviour at home and then make an appointment with your GP.

The teacher is out of order. You can't just drop a hand grenade like this. It's not the teacher's place to make such a proclamation.

What you need is some concrete targets that the school are working on following their assessments of your child, sent home so you know what they're working on and also you can work on them at home. And a proper followup with the senco would help.

Could your daughter have an hearing impairment? I'm deaf and it's likely my daughter could go deaf later in childhood (16 months now). That was my first thought upon reading your post.

Has she had her hearing tested? Glue ear can make it difficult for children this age to not be able to distinguish between some sounds.

If it’s any consolation I was in the SENCO groups at primary school and i’m dyslexic but I got 13 A/A* GCSE and 4 A level As, this does not define her you just have to discover her style of learning.

I'm surprised (and sad) that the teacher said 'speak to your HV' - the school will have a lead SENCO and they should and can help guide you in seeking a diagnosis. The school would usually have to support/ help with a referral - it's absolutely not something you just go off and do on your own without their support. They know her well and are with her all day.

It does sound as though she may benefit from support - all children are unique and it's so vital that the school know if does have particular needs. It can take years to get this sort of diagnosis so great to start now.

@RRBB1920 didn’t see your comment- same thought here!

I wouldn't expect to hear this at a Parents' Evening - I'm assuming the teacher has spoken to the Sendco so you really should have been spoken to before now.

BUT take a deep breath and grab any opportunity for extra input that you can. Your dd is very young. It may end up being developmental (she'll grow out of /overcome the difficulties) or she may not. Getting started now - make an appointment with the Sendco asap - will help whatever the outcome. And yes, go via your doctor/HV because it might hurry stuff up. Help is hard to come by.

It's hard to accept one of your children may need extra support but please take any help you can. I found it hard (I'm a teacher) when my ds - child 3 - was obviously dyslexic, but fighting his corner and getting him support was the best thing to do.

Good luck!

It's possible she may have verbal dyspraxia which is where your brain struggles to tell your tongue muscles to move properly so words get mispronounced. Google it and see if it sounds familiar. It could be many things combined with the sleep, but it sounds like the teacher is concerned enough to push you to get a referral on this. It doesn't mean your daughter can't have a successful, happy school life.

I think the teacher meant to say a 'specific learning disability' such as dyspraxia, ADHD, dyslexia. It's definitely worth getting this diagnosed as a. It takes ages and b. It helps the child themselves and teachers know the best strategies to cope. Undiagnosed children can get anxious or angry or multiple mental health issues later on as they are trying to cope but don't know how to, and are not understood by teachers either.

Teacher is supposed to link up with SENDCO about this, and support you to access CAMHS and paediatricians.

Your daughter sounds like my son though, we thought he had ADHD. He doesn't, he has developmental co-ordination disorder and sensory processing disorder. Fidgeting and energy and seemingly lower attention span than usual isn't just ADHD.

Could be though, could just be she can't engage with class work until her speech is better.

All I can say is if the conditions aren't there she won't be diagnosed, and if they are, she will be eligible for support and the younger the better for that

We are in the same situation with our youngest who has speech delay, struggles to concentrate and focus in school. It is really hard to hear at first. School have had her assessed by the educational psychologist and private speech and language therapist. She is now on the SEN. Register and has an individual plan in place with targets. This is what your child's school need to be doing. We have met with the SENCo twice now and have met with her teachers 4 or 5 times since the beginning of September. For our child and probably yours too, covid has had a huge detrimental impact on her development. It doesn't sound like the teachers comments were very helpful. I would be pushing for a meeting with the school to see what they can access

As a previous poster stated please don't joke about ADHD. The condition can have a huge impact on the person with it and those who care for them.
First port of call would be maybe to set up a longer meeting with the school and ask them to outline why they think your DD has something other than a speech delay.
Also please look up symptoms of ADHD in girls specifically and see if any of them resonate with your DD. If she does have SN then getting help now will save years of stress later in life.

@Mayblossominapril

I think the hv age range has increased recently so worth checking as they can sort heating tests etc. I would speak to the head teacher to ask about the support they are going to put in place. It’s a shock but better sooner.

HV deliver the HCP to pre school children only

It's good the teacher has flagged it up. Lots don't. Understandably it is a shock, but it sounds like you have had concerns yourself and now you can learn more.

Disabilities like ADHD and autism have nothing to do with intelligence, how artistic you are, etc. Some children do have comorbid issues.

As others have said ask for appt with senco and GP.

Does she have fiddle toys she can use to help her concentrate?

Get her assessed asap. The earlier you intervene the better her future will be. She needs help.

if you have to, go privately to prove she needs help and get it all done quickly, then access it all via NHS (if it still exists!) :/

Im not sure how it works now as my child is nearly 12 and has always been in a special school ,but when in mainstream nursery he was assessed by the Educational psychologist,he was also under the community padiatrician ,and got a diagnosis of autism and learning disabilities at three ,the teacher should be liasing with the SENCO at the very least .

All of the children in the class have had covid to contend with - but your child has stood out and been noticed by the teacher (fantastic teacher to notice this so early on … I’ve had children get all the way to year 5 and I have had to send them for diagnosis, as none of their previous teachers have bothered to notice). Your child has a therapist at school, and one on the nhs. Yes, I think, it sounds like she has additional learning needs.

My DS teacher said a similar thing to me when he was 5.
With hindsight it was probably the best thing to happen. She was a teacher of many years standing and had 29 other kids to measure him against. We have no other children so couldn't compare and contrast him with.

He us now 15, has an EHCP which has meant he has managed to stay in mainstream education and we receive DLA for his additional needs.

OK. I understand the shock here. I have a now 12yr old who I had a similar conversation with the yr1 teacher. She is my eldest.

My daughter finally got diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia this year.

Take whatever assessments are on offer. You will need to push to keep this going. Assessments cost money so the school/ gp won't want to spend it if you give them any indication you don't want it.

So that you are looking to the right people:

NHS via your GP: for ADHD, Autism (Dyspraxia if need be)
School: Dyslexia

I would ask the GP to refer for ADHD if that's a suspicion but given what you are saying about reading/spelling I would also ask school to do a Dyslexia screener. She is a bit young for a full assessment but if they have an idea that is where she's going there are things they can change - for example the colour of paper.

ADHD / Autism are definitely things to check out especially if she is like this away from school work but if it is focused around school stuff do check out Dyslexia too - for a child of that age to know she can't do this stuff and her friends can is massive and she will react badly as a result.

Good luck OP. Hope over to the SEN boards there are alot of experienced folks over there who will help you along the way!

Op... a lot can change from 5, honestly. Please don’t despair. You can get support.

In the first instance, GP and SENCO are your first places to go.

I’m sorry the teacher wasn’t more sensitive - parents nights not really the time or place. I spent many times in tears in front of teachers myself and don’t know what she was thinking.

At five my son couldn’t string a sentence together. He could, at best, maybe do five words, disjointed - basically a string of nouns and verbs. I was totally stressed.

At 9 he is incredibly articulate and confident, witty and great at word play.

He’s autistic and we have other challenges around anxiety and boring the pants off people with his obsessions. But the speech just came on on the end: as did sleeping. Eating and all the other stuff he just couldn’t manage. He’s my pride and joy because it’s been such a battle for him and he’s overcome so much, the stuff that we take for granted with our other children.

If sleeping is a massive issue, cherry juice and bananas help if you haven’t managed to get a melatonin prescription. That saved us. My son didn’t sleep before 2am and it was heartbreaking. He’s been on it since he was about 5. The tantrums really eased off once has was getting proper sleep. Classical music, massage and weighted blankets helped us enormously.

For now though, GP and SENCO.