Teacher said she thinks dd5 has a learning disability or special needs

[Slavetolove]

Dd5 has a speech delay. She has since she could talk, Iv been fighting for speech therapy. Obviously covid hasn’t helped the situation. She’s 5 (6 in July) and in year 1.

She’s behind on her reading, spelling and obviously her speech. But it’s all linked because she’s spelling it how she thinks you say it. She has a therapist at school and an nhs one who has been out a few times to see how she’s getting on.

Today was her parents evening and her teacher said she thinks she has special needs and/or a learning disability.
She just said for me to chase up with the health visitor but surely that can’t be it?

We’ve always joked she had adhd. She barely sleeps, not so bad now but bevfore she would be up at 3/4am every single day. It’s now 5.30 no matter what time she goes bed.
She is non stop. She doesn’t stop talking, she can’t do anything longer than a min and is constantly moving from one thing to another. But she is so clever and funny. Her drawings are amazing and she remembers literally everything. But she has a temper and is hard work. We joked If she was our first she would be our last.

I’m abit emotional. I don’t know where to turn or what to do?

Sounds exactly like my niece who was diagnosed with Dyslexia. She was a slow talker, could not concentrate well etc. She is now 18 and at University taking an acting course. She still can`t spell very well but is able to memorise songs and the scripts to the productions they put on. Here is a link to some info
www.verywellmind.com/dyslexia-and-its-relation-to-adhd-4119917

Firstly don't panic, yes the teacher may not have delivered this in the best way but she's obviously noticing things that you are already aware of.

So as others have said write down all her behaviours and either go to CAHMS or the GP or both. By the time you get seen she will be old enough for an ADHD assessment the earliest is 6.

My DD is autistic so I know the emotions you go through when you first realise and when you get a diagnosis. Sometimes I still get the fear and worry of what if but mostly I'm to busy fighting the fucking system to get her support 🙄

We suspect that DS has ADHD and a lot of what your DD does sounds like him although he is good at reading when we get him to keep still for 2 seconds. School have sensitively raised have we noticed he doesn't keep still, is rather impulsive, struggles taking turns and not interrupting.

We have booked him a private ADHD assessment for when he is 6 even private waiting lists are 6 months or more. DD was waiting for over a year before we gave up and paid for an assessment.

My child was flagged as having psychiatric problems and language difficulties in primary school by teaching staff wholly untrained in either matter. I insisted upon referral to the schools nursing team, and there was a speech/ language therapist who came into school to test children. I also went to the GP and got a referral to a child development clinic. However, I also funded a private occupational therapy assessment by an expert in childhood learning and behavioural difficulties, as well as specialist auditory testing. Turned out my daughter had severe dyspraxia (affecting language), auditory and sensory processing disorder and (now) suspected autism. Most teachers do not receive specialist training in special needs. If I was you, my first stop would be the family GP. The wait-list times are hideous for child assessment clinics at the moment, so if there is any chance you can fund a private assessment that could speed things up.

I’m sorry the teacher wasn’t more sensitive - parents nights not really the time or place.

I’m going to go against the grain and say it’s better to know early rather than late. It used to take ages to get through the assessment procedures at the best of times. Post-Covid we are talking about years, depending on geographical area.

I’m not sure how ‘sensitive’ you want teachers to be or when would be a good time to mention concerns if not parents evening.

In my circumstance, teachers said not to pursue assessment. I’m doing it several years later, resenting the wasted time when my dc could have had help and support in school instead of being dismissed as … well, nothing really, just a bit slow. Home education through lockdown proved otherwise, and I find my opinion of teachers is rather lower.

For your child struggling to sit still and read, do persevere. Maintain times as a routine, bribe with a reward and above all, insist. I used to have to do one letter, one word at a time, and rarely more than 2 or 3 pages, some days only 1. I would have to count down the number of words left to read and summarise stories at beginning and end. It is worth it. My dc is now y6 and reading chapter books, or more likely information books - . The older kids get the more resistant they become to trying, not less.

[quote Menstrualcycledisplayteam]Here you go, here is some information about summerborn children being disproportionately labelled as SEND:

www.lse.ac.uk/News/Latest-news-from-LSE/2021/f-June-21/Summer-born-children-unfairly-labelled-as-having-special-educational-needs[/quote]
Having read that I have a different take that schools are recognising that children need support as they are behind their peers so are ensuring they receive it, which is a positive thing.

Yes the school system isn't great and some of the things they put in to try to improve it like more testing still don't prevent kids falling through the cracks but I would rather the system allowed children who don't have a diagnosis particularly when it takes so long to get one, to get support than rigidly only support those with a diagnosis.

Hi op.

Firstly, I would like to say health visitors are often a waste of time. Don't ask them for help, totally shambolic imo.

My daughter is speech delayed too, she's 7 in the summer so year 2. Due to her speech delayed she's also delayed with reading, writing and spelling like you Dd. She had never been diagnosed with anything, even though dyspraxia has been suggested before. my eldest is autistic but dd is not believed to be. She also doesn't sit still or stop talking.

speech delays can just happen!

if the school are concerned an ed psych would be best bet for now imo.

she needs regular speech therapy. speech therapist can advise speech related activities at school to help bring her speech on and for at home.

how is she doing otherwise? is she sociable, settled at school, how is her non verbal social skills? the bigger picture needs to be looked at....

Don't fret op. Even if something is picked up, she'll be fine!

We've had lockdowns too which have really disadvantaged children including my own. Don't forget your daughter is yet to have a full year of school!

School could also issue an ILP for your Dd!

I don't agree @Sickoffamilydrama; it's literally saying that younger children are being disproportionately badged as having SEND; they don't, they're just young in the year and aren't achieving as high scores in rigid tests as their older counterparts, which is a pretty obvious outcome, surely?

Yes, good that they're getting support, but SEND is a label that sticks (and upsets, as the OP's post shows).

I'd look at your own posts- there's quite a lot of issues you've identified yourself.

If school think she has a learning disability why on earth are they not already giving her extra support-?if she's bad enough for them to suggest the health visitor they should be referring her to an educational psychologist for assessment.

The teacher is obviously concerned too and school should be identifying children with needs and putting support in place. If she isn't meeting age appropriate expectations in school a child would normally be given an IEP which is shared with parents and this would be reviewed regularly. If this is not in place then you need to contact school and speak to the head teacher/sendco and ask what they intend to do to support your child.

@MrsMoastyToasty

My DS teacher said a similar thing to me when he was 5. With hindsight it was probably the best thing to happen. She was a teacher of many years standing and had 29 other kids to measure him against. We have no other children so couldn't compare and contrast him with. He us now 15, has an EHCP which has meant he has managed to stay in mainstream education and we receive DLA for his additional needs.

^^ This.

I don't think the teacher handled it in the best way, but at least she has raised it.

I'm currently tutoring a child that definitely has special needs. I'm trying to probe to find out what (if anything) has ever been mentioned/suggested/implied by school and clearly the parents have no clue. They just think it's sweet that she can't pronounce words, can't read properly, can't sit still etc.

They only have their child to go by. I have literally hundreds of children this age that i've taught to go by.

If I was her teacher, I would definitely have involved SENDCO by now. As a private tutor, I'm in a real predicament.

So many professionals now don't raise concerns and just hope that the parent finally realises their child is different to others because they don't want to be the one upsetting the parent (in my experience)

I would feel grateful that it's been raised. Move past how poorly it was handled and move forward with a proactive action plan.

What you describe can be indicative of adhd but also certain forms of autism in girls.

I think the teacher has been clumsy in their explanation but if you have ever had the slightest suspicion (and if you are joking about it then it probably comes from knowing but not wanting to admit it) then for the love of God get her tested.

It's a very upsetting thing to hear when they just come out with it. I was in absolute shock when a teacher, out of the blue, told me DS was autistic. I had no idea. But she was right, and getting the statement and support was SO helpful for him. (Like your DD, he never slept - just never. Up all night, every hour, and even in juniors still awake by 5.30. I know the exhaustion of this also adds to the emotional impact.

It sounds like your DD already has some support which is great because it should be easy to build on it. Better to know now than later. DS's diagnosis happened when he was 12 and I wish we'd known earlier. His life could have been easier.

The teacher sounds unprofessional and so I’m not sure id trust her judgment. Having a neuro-diversity (dyslexia, development language disorder, ADHD) does not mean she will not be high achieving in Academia or life. Most ND people would not describe themselves as having a learning disability or special needs.

In my circumstance, teachers said not to pursue assessment. I’m doing it several years later, resenting the wasted time when my dc could have had help and support in school instead of being dismissed as … well, nothing really, just a bit slow. Home education through lockdown proved otherwise, and I find my opinion of teachers is rather lower

We had the same we were told not to pursue an EHCP that it was for "bad children" now she's massively behind by about 4 years in some areas when she was only 1 year behind when I first suggested it. We have just getting all the assessments for the EHCP to be written so likelihood is it will be another 6 months before she gets proper support..if she ever gets it.

Oh and DD teachers didn't think she was autistic either luckily she switched years and her new teacher actually observed her a few times and everything clicked and she spotted behaviours.

As other posters have said, a full speech and language assessment seems a route to take. Various comments you've made about your DD resonated for me: glue ear, speech delay, difficulty concentrating, reluctance reading. My DD has a diagnosed Auditory Processing difficulty. Finally confirmed by a specialist APD assessment by an SLT last year and then by an Ed Psych so that access arrangements could be put in place for external assessments/exams. It's like the many pieces of a jigsaw puzzle have fallen into place. The various teachers and SENCOs we have met over the years had identified specific spikes in her profile e.g. around working memory, processing, but it took me researching and then pushing to get the assessment. Equipped with a more detailed understanding of her needs, school is now putting in place practical support and adaptations to the way she is taught in class.

Poor kid… we were living overseas and my DS had either a language processing issue or an auditory processing issue. To complicate things further, they start school at age 4 there. He would get so frustrated that he would explode. He also had one of those teachers who “Knew better than anyone” and decided he was just a spoiled brat who was babied by me because he was my only boy, (Sooooo not my style.) so she wouldn’t support my request for a letter to take to my GP. (Required there…) I couldn’t get medical help for him, but I could sit him down and ask him if he was mad or sad, and make him choose one… Eventually he understood that he had issues communicating and he and I would do our own “speech therapy” together. The teacher who had written him off wouldn’t believe that he would sit for ages on the toilet by himself trying to make a “g” for “goat” sound, etc… he had pretty much stopped talking to her. Anyhow, turns out a few of us made independent complaints and our kids were questioned by an assessor (with our knowledge) and he had been excluded from all kinds of class activities and tests (in an attempt to bodge her statistics) and he told the assessor all about it. Someone had some explaining to do!!!

@Menstrualcycledisplayteam

I don't agree *@Sickoffamilydrama*; it's literally saying that younger children are being disproportionately badged as having SEND; they don't, they're just young in the year and aren't achieving as high scores in rigid tests as their older counterparts, which is a pretty obvious outcome, surely?

Yes, good that they're getting support, but SEND is a label that sticks (and upsets, as the OP's post shows).

You have to be careful with saying these kind of things, I can see why that article would make you think that. However I would want to see the study data set they used and methodology before I made any conclusions. Are more children born in summer? How many of the children registered as having an SEN have had a formal assessment by a professional, what are the split of SEN is there higher proportion of one type in those who are summer born? Just because this person has found something doesn't mean that swathes of summer born children are being misdiagnosed.

We where discouraged from getting a diagnosis because it would "label" our DD but you know what strangely enough she doesn't go around with it tattooed on her forehead and all it means is when she needs support she's much more likely to get it.

Where in the UK are you? I know of some support in local areas which might help

It's hard to hear but listen to what she is saying. I expect the teacher has already spoken to the SENCO . Go to your GP, with everything you and/or the teacher can see in her and ask for a referral to the community paediatric team. In my area you would have a 4 year wait if you went through CAMHS. I did this with my daughter when she was 4 and we had a diagnosis at 5.

I mean this kindly ... I think you need to educate yourself. Your post implies that you think children with SEN can't be funny and clever? If you think that you really have a lot to learn. Learn about ADHD, learn about dyslexia. It won't stop your daughter being amazing if she does get diagnosed.

If she has SALT input she probably already has SEN so nothing has changed. The teacher is right to raise it and although it might be a shock I'd try to work with them to get the necessary referrals. Join some Facebook groups and educate yourself on SEN. Your child is still the same child but the earlier you can get additional support the better (the demands of school continue to increase).

My son as ADHD& dyslexia- it's not something to joke about - it's really quite disabling for him. The fact you've joked about it means you probably don't fully understand it yet. My son is not naughty and doesn't fulfil the stereotypical idea of ADHD (most don't in my experience). He is above well average intelligence but struggles with the basics. Knowing he has ADHD and dyslexia has been great for his understanding and self esteem.

As a teacher we've been explicitly told we can't diagnose as we don't have the training. My PGCE had very little on SEN. Send an email to the teacher (paper trail) following up on her concerns and ask to speak to the SENDCO. They'll probably mention hearing and eye tests so make sure they've been fairly recent (past 6 months). In my experience the amount of children wearing glasses doubles from reception to Y4. If she's not making progress they need to put her on an IEP and potentially consider EHCP (legal document).
It's a really pivotal time to raise concerns because the formality of learning and classroom expectations really increase in Y2 so if she's being singled out now, there's 6 months to get her into interventions/outside help.

This could be my son you are describing, school had worries, struggled with him, and suggested we get him assessed. He’s now an adult with a first class maths degree and a career as a Naval Officer. Speak to GP, get help if it’s needed early, if not work with school to identify her learning style and increase focus

OP you seem a little indignant that the teacher brought this up, but you yourself have been joking that your DD may not be neurotypical so isn't it better to follow this up with your GP as early intervention is often key for many issues, especially around speech and language.

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The teacher seems to have handled this really badly and telling you to go to your health visitor is terrible advice. School have recognised a need so now they should be supporting you through the process.
Firstly, they should be asking the school SENCO to observe her and talk to you, taking a detailed history. Then applying for an educational psychologist to come to school and assess her. In our area we also have the Seniss team who will do observations and outreach with her. Then you need to sit down together, with speech therapists involved too and put together a plan for her. If you think she has ADHD she will need a referral made to be formally assessed.
Please don't be fobbed off, ask to see the SENCO and talk to them about what can be put in place to support your little girl.