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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask are you happy?

116 replies

Lily2075 · 07/02/2022 19:32

I don't really see how people are. Life just seems like years and years of working. I go to work and I don't care about any of it. I'm not motivated to do well because none of it means anything to me. Then I go home and do nothing and get up to go to work again. What's the point?

OP posts:

Norgie · 07/02/2022 23:24

Yes.
My kids and grandkids are healthy and happy. My wonderful DH is healthy and happy, so I couldn't wish for anything else.

headspin10 · 07/02/2022 23:25

I am really happy and I know I'm extremely lucky to have good health, an amazing partner and healthy children who we both completely adore. Enough money not to worry every day.

I think for me it has been helpful to notice the good bits, not see happiness as a final permanent destination, but something you can take in little bites every day.
A cup of tea in a nice mug, a lovely meal, a hug with someone you love, stroking the cat, a hot shower with herbal shower gel. Time to read a book with a blanket on the sofa. I think looking for the good bits is good advice.

Had an incredibly stressful time last year (my mum has advanced dementia) I feel like I'm still on a high now that the situation has changed and we survived it. I wonder if this is contributing to my happiness levels now....

BumsweaterNeuronywuss · 07/02/2022 23:27

Its the little things. Hard to get in that mindset but once you do it's addictive.

monroeagogo · 07/02/2022 23:31

I'm happy but I'm medicated up to my eyeballs but it works for me

fablett · 07/02/2022 23:38

I'm happy. I definitely agree it's moments rather than a steady state of mind though.

Have to remind myself not to get caught up in superficial woes like not being thin or having a big enough house sometimes.

I do appreciate the small joys like a nice cup of tea or frost on the grass or new clean bedding. And I do appreciate the big joys like DD and DH.

With regard to work, I love my job and always have. It's the one thing I am really truly good at. A lot of my confidence and contentment flow from that and also it pays for our house and life. So I am very grateful.

Moonface88 · 07/02/2022 23:38

Yes. But I wasn't always. I've suffered on and off with depression since my teens. Had years of CBT, tried Sertraline for a while. The turning point was leaving a long term relationship which wasn't awful but had run it's course. Then a year later I met dp and he makes me happy every single day. My dog, my closest friends and music all do the same. I realise there are people worse off than me and think of things to be grateful for constantly, it's a habit I've developed and it seems to work.

AwakeAgainNaturally · 07/02/2022 23:44

I’m very unhappy and have been for the last decade to be honest. Some very challenging situations, which never seem to end.
Mental health issues with one of my children, ill health of my partner. Toxic birth famiiy and very little support from anyone.
I am utterly drained and at he end of my rope.
I really can’t see the point of life anymore.
The irony is after years of financial struggle, we are finally in a comfortable financial position and should be having a great time. Sadly, that’s very far from the case.

CafeConLechePorFavor · 07/02/2022 23:44

No.

I am incredibly lucky. 2 beautiful children, amazing DH, two big cars, big house, good friends, supportive family, don't need to work.

This pandemic and the never ending nature of it is absolutely kicking my arse. Can't help but notice that society has become a bit shit recently too. Everyone is just a bit pissed off it seems. Add to that the fact that we can't ever leave the fucking house currently because the weather here is so shit.

We go to Spain for a month at a time. Literally counting down the days until our next trip. Genuinely think that the solution is to make the move to live there. But don't have the guts.

StopStartStop · 08/02/2022 05:05

@Fetchthevet

No. I'm worried, always something to worry about. I worry about driving, my elderly parents, my poorly sister. I'm still angry and upset about things that happened years ago. I do have things to be grateful about, but my overriding feeling is worry.

Please get therapy! Things can be better.

RussianSpy101 · 08/02/2022 05:14

I’m very happy and consider myself very privileged . We have a very good lifestyle with lots of holidays, weekends away etc and money is no issue which I think definitely helps; less stress etc.
We have 3 DC, one of whom is disabled, but he has weekly private therapies which have made so much difference to him and he is a very happy child and I have no doubt that without this our life would probably be much different.

Flatandhappy · 08/02/2022 05:59

Generally yes, I have a very nice life and I am very grateful for all the good things in it, mainly my wonderful family. BUT I am totally terrified about my cancer returning. I have been cancer free for two years but statistically there is a very high chance of recurrence and the daily medication I take makes me really tired so that takes the edge of my enjoyment.

HelloBunny · 08/02/2022 06:04

Yes. Always have been.

itsmellslikepopcarn · 08/02/2022 06:05

Yep, I am. Im self employed and get some assistance with universal credit from being a single parent, meaning I probably don’t earn much more than 14-15K a year. But, I’m always at home, my daughter sees a lot of me, I love working for myself. Money is sometimes tough which can cause a bit of stress but on the whole, very happy.

stayathomer · 08/02/2022 06:15

I've always been happy until this year where both me and dh are just spending the whole time bartering with work as the kids are constantly sick or childcare is falling through. Dh taking most of the fall as I can't be out (retail). So far it is feeling very like we're just wading through all the time

stayathomer · 08/02/2022 06:18

AwakeAgainNaturally (I love your name btw)
Hugs, and . Hope things ease up for you, hope something nice happens today

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 08/02/2022 06:31

Yes but for me the key has been having a fantastic work life balance. Mid 40s and work 3 long days a week which gives me plenty of down time. Love my job and have fantastic colleagues. Two fantastic teens who never give me any grief and whom I adore, remarried two years ago and have a lovely relationship (chosen not to live together and works brilliantly for us), own home in a beautiful part of the country. Could do with more money but can manage as I am and not willing to compromise my own happiness for extra cash.

Oblomov22 · 08/02/2022 06:36

The monotony and repeat of it all bothers me. choosing the next 3 meals, and whether to eat spaghetti and meatballs or steak pie and steamed veg, fills me with dred.

Oblomov22 · 08/02/2022 06:39

Covid has shown how shit life is, how selfish people inherently are and no one really cares about us, the next person will stab you in the back to get that job, to protect their family in a crisis. Makes you realise how shit life is. Isn't that depressing and sad?

AwakeAgainNaturally · 08/02/2022 07:01

@stayathomer

AwakeAgainNaturally (I love your name btw) Hugs,

and

. Hope things ease up for you, hope something nice happens today

Thank you. That made me quite tearful!

Jane2658 · 08/02/2022 07:18

For most part I am. I always think you can only be as happy as your unhappiest child though. My children are doing quite well at the moment, my eldest son is happy and working full time- not on the path I had hoped he would go on but it's his life and for the moment he is happy and content so I try not to worry. He has always caused me the most stress and concern as he struggled with school and anxiety.
I am concerned about my brother as he doesn't have his life sorted at all and often seems very low and that worries me.
In myself though, my life is going okay, I am content in my home life. I just can never be totally happy unless everyone I care about is, which is never really!

Bellalasagne1 · 08/02/2022 07:18

I didn't think I was until I read this and now feel blessed for what I do have. Sending love to all who are having a rough time

Nsky · 08/02/2022 07:25

Mostly, tho getting very fed up of eye issues, 3D, phyatrist, mild bi polar too, can’t drive, affects walking about and doing stuff.
Optically all well, including brain scan, roll on 21/3 when I finally get to see phyatrist, need some answers!
Recently retired so want to be out more

lambchop81 · 08/02/2022 07:46

Nope. One day I am one day I'm a miserable Cow it's a vicious circle

Vampirethriller · 08/02/2022 07:51

I am. I've been homeless, an addict, I didn't expect to make 30... Now I'm living in a little council flat with my daughter and a dog and life is beautiful. I'm happy. I used to dream of this

AwakeAgainNaturally · 08/02/2022 08:03

@Jane2658

For most part I am. I always think you can only be as happy as your unhappiest child though. My children are doing quite well at the moment, my eldest son is happy and working full time- not on the path I had hoped he would go on but it's his life and for the moment he is happy and content so I try not to worry. He has always caused me the most stress and concern as he struggled with school and anxiety. I am concerned about my brother as he doesn't have his life sorted at all and often seems very low and that worries me. In myself though, my life is going okay, I am content in my home life. I just can never be totally happy unless everyone I care about is, which is never really!

I totally relate to this.

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