To ask are you happy?

[Lily2075]

I don't really see how people are. Life just seems like years and years of working. I go to work and I don't care about any of it. I'm not motivated to do well because none of it means anything to me. Then I go home and do nothing and get up to go to work again. What's the point?

Today, no. Shit day at work with someone who is not my boss giving me orders and acting like I was her subordinate. I don't like my job at all but I'm worried I might just not like the next one either. Generally though I have a lot to be grateful for - I have a very happy home life, I'm in good health, I have good (though few) friends and no money worries. I am luckier than most.

No. I’ve been in survival mode for years. Can’t see things changing either.

Nah. Fed up and too many factors at play mean I can't really change things. I'm just existing for the sake of others.

Yes I’m very happy. I feel very lucky but I’m always afraid something will snatch it all away from me.

Yes I'm happy but sometimes I have to remind myself, if that makes sense. I definitely get overwhelmed with work crap and have to talk myself round to a happier place.
I have a few song lyrics or movie quotes that cheer me up and I repeat them to myself and it helps. (Weirdly they are not particularly "cheery" things - like a song about someone who used to be an arsehole and took drugs has the line "that's the way the water flows, that's the way the story goes" and it reminds me that things are often out of my control, or more recently the film Don't Look Up has a line near the end like"we really did have it all" or similar, which reminds me to be grateful)

Lovely post @aldanvers and I'm sorry about your mum.

Yes, I’m very happy, but largely because I’m on maternity leave. I’ll be much less happy when I return to work.

@Lily2075

I don't really see how people are. Life just seems like years and years of working. I go to work and I don't care about any of it. I'm not motivated to do well because none of it means anything to me. Then I go home and do nothing and get up to go to work again. What's the point?

It depends on your brain wiring/genetics. Plenty of rich people are still deeply unhappy inside, plenty of relatively poor people are content with life.

Also, I think the more you think about things the less happy you can be. There's often a belief that smart people/deep thinkers are less happy.

I would be far happier if I didn't do a 'people job' its tiring, relentless, boring and i'm an introvert. I have spent most of my adult life trying to avoid two things, adulting and people. Now I spend my time adulting children. Other than that I'm happy.

Objectively my life is kind of a mess; separated, single parent of 4, finances are still a bit of a mess, don’t own my own home, full time demanding job. I get no time to myself and barely see my friends or extended family. However I am happy. I am grateful for what I have; second hand car- 6 months ago I didn’t have that. Freedom from my addicted abusive ex. I’m grateful for his maintenance that he pays on time despite being a terrible human. He could have left me up shit creek financially but he didn't, and I respect him for that.. I am saving up for a holiday for my kids and when we go we will have the best time. I love walking my dog. My job is hard but so rewarding and I am doing something that really has value in society where I can make a difference to people, which makes me very happy. Despite my ex telling me constantly I am a miserable bitch, turns out I’m actually very positive, who knew?

Nope! I feel happiness and laugh a lot but my general state is “struggle” and “suffering”

I’m coming to a point of acceptance that my brain will always be wondering what is the point of me, why are we here, what should I be doing, always struggling with the thought of a day ahead, always wanting to be somewhere else or doing something else..

I’m always catching myself, telling my brain to shut up and just plodding onwards, if you know what I mean?

Not massively atm. Life seems to mostly be about work work work as saving for a house deposit, so doing overtime whenever I can. Have a couple of family members with poor physical and mental health who need support, but (and I feel awful for saying it) can be very draining. Friends have moved away to buy houses in more affordable areas, and started having kids. I still talk to some friends most days, but any real life social events have to be prebooked well in advance, and more often than not ends up getting cancelled. I felt a lot more lonely than I did a few years ago. Think I need to join a running club or yoga class or something.

Work is a challenge and I just get through my working days. However I have a husband I love and who makes me laugh. I have daughters I love and that makes me happy. And finally I have grandchildren who bring me absolute joy. I try and focus on the positive and yes I am happy. I realise I'm also very lucky.

Nope, haven’t been happy in many many years. Just pushing thru the monotony and disappointment of life for my dogs and DDs sake really.

Yes, I am very happy. I love my life. I feel very fortunate that I have had choices, that I could study what I wanted, change jobs when I wanted, travel, have a dog. My family loves me even though they are far away, I have lots of friends. I am currently single and loving my life, but I also love it when I have a partner. One of the things I love is variety, chance, spontaneity. I admit that my happiness is allowed by the fact I am also fit and healthy and averagely attractive at 45.

(oh, also i don't have children, never wanted to have them)

@Suzanne999

No, not since my DH died. Before then I was very happy.

Same

I'm not. I adore my kids - I've been a single parent now for a few years. Youngest twos dad doesn't see them so its all down to me. Its been hard.... I'm in a job I am not sure is right for me but it pays well and I've needed to money to fight my ex in court to keep my house. He's just gone bankrupt so the consent order we recently finally got has gone out the window and I've got to now "buy" his equity from the Official Receiver. Its cost me £2k in abandoned legal fees and court/other fees and he did it because he still wants to control and hurt us.

My kids are genuinely wonderful, but all different ages, different challenges, and I ended up very isolated due to my marriage so I only have a few friends. I cut off contact with my family last year as they were toxic, and that made me feel better for a while - deep down I know its the right thing but I find myself recently feeling very teary and lonely.

I kick myself because I know people have worse life situations - but every day is the same and its feeling less like I have things to look forward to.

I think I'm 'surface happy'.

I have a good life, I have a good job, I have a partner who loves me very much, I own a house (mortgaged - I'm not that happy), I have a two year old DD, I have friends, we socialise.

But underneath there is more than that. DD is a handful, work is stressful, DP works away a lot, I am overweight, I drink too much, I crave more than I have, I long for constant social activity but actually would rather collapse in front of shit tv programmes.
I had a late term pregnancy loss late last year. I am trying to get pregnant again because I can't have that experience be the end of my journey.

DP and I are starting to plan our wedding but all that's doing is making me stressed because I want it to be perfect. We are going on holiday in a couple of months (nice thing) that entails a 12+ hour flight with DD (stressful thing).

I can't find full happiness. I am surface happy, but not deep happy.

Also, I think the more you think about things the less happy you can be. There's often a belief that smart people/deep thinkers are less happy.

Definitely agree with this, I'm not particularly smart but always been quite deep and it's just a curse really. You have to nip negative thoughts in the bud or you can get stuck in depression months or years longer than you should (e.g if it's caused by life trauma), easier said than done to stop the thoughts though.

Outside of work, yes. I have a lovely family, great friends and a good disposable income which allows to do the things that we enjoy.
I used to enjoy my job but I’ve reached a point where the amount of responsibility I have can be overwhelming. It pays too well for me to leave, so I feel like I’m stuck there (at least for now). I also feel like my career is part of my identity so, even though it often makes me unhappy, I’m worried I’d feel rather lost without it.

I am trying to be happier or rather recognising my happiness.

This year I was determined to count my blessings and practice gratitude because my personality is one of constantly seeking the next thing. I do think you have to make your own happiness!

Be that job promotion, new pet, new thing for the house, next holiday. I love the planning (and having of these things) but it makes me loose sight of what I have.

And I do feel incredibly grateful for my life and that makes me happy:

I have an amazing DD - honestly she is the best
Great DP - not perfect but he loves us v.much
Dogs!!!!! My two dogs make my day every day
I love my job and it pays well!!!
I have hobbies (horses, dogs, gym, budgeting!)
We rent our house but it’s amazing
Great family
Holiday each year - home and abroad (and with the dogs!)
Good health!

Of course all of this pisses me off some days eg. my job is v.stressful but all of this makes me very happy. I have had to learn to give into the happiness and just be more relaxed
I also appreciate that I am luckier than others and it’s not always as simple as just be happy.

I’m
Quite content and blessed. Although having personal difficulties I would say I am happy. Also we are blessed to have a roof over our heads

I think whoever mentioned thinking too much is definitely onto something!
I over think and I probably over read...I like to be well informed and think it's important to know what's going on in the world but my goodness it's depressing!
I have a couple of colleagues who just seem to love life and they'd freely admit they don't read the news etc.

No. Im miserable and depressed and exhausted by grief.

Except for the time I spent with my little DC. He is a miracle, the light of my life and I'm lucky to have him.

But his baby siblings are dead, and it's my fault, and that takes it toll.