Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler pack lunch in cafes

548 replies

Casheeeew · 07/02/2022 14:51

I eat a about 3 cafes near me regularly, but only once per week, occasionally twice. I have always taken my son (18months) a full packed lunch, and I buy myself lunch and a coffee.

Its never occured to me to question this until today. Is he too old to be having home brought food?

They do have a kids menu but I prefer him to have a selection of things to pick at that I know he'll like.

Aibu - or if not, how long before he's too old?

OP posts:
Figgygal · 07/02/2022 17:35

Yeah thats just rude to the cafe owners

DrManhattan · 07/02/2022 17:38

Tight

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 07/02/2022 17:41

@Songoftheseas what’s wrong with it is the same thing that’s wrong with bringing your own beer to the pub. It’s a business that sells food, you can’t just bring your own willy nilly instead of buying theirs. Obviously examples like your DD where she actually can’t eat the food are different - OP just doesn’t want to. I also have a special diet but since I’m an adult I just have a side salad and chips if that’s the only option rather than taking my own.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 07/02/2022 17:43

@Opus17

Haha I'm in the minority then. I also have a DS (18 months) and would bring his half sandwich with me. I'd of course buy myself a coffee and something to eat. I don't see anything wrong with it. A single person is allowed to take up a table, who cares if that person also has a kid with them?

He still doesn't eat much and it would be such a waste of money to buy him a 4 pound cheese toastie 🙄

I agree with this. If you are worried, just ask the person serving. I am sure they will say that it is ok. I would if I were them.
mrsm43s · 07/02/2022 17:43

I think 18 months is on the cusp, and probably time to start transitioning him to eating things off of the menu now. It'll be good for him - give him the opportunity to try different things and widen his experiences. I think age 2 is about the absolute limit for bringing in home food and drinks, without being cheeky. When cafes specifically offer meals for young children (which most do) its a big sign that you should be buying their meals rather than bringing from home.

ByMyName · 07/02/2022 17:45

At 18 months old, I used to order one meal and feed them bits off my plate. It’s never been an issue anywhere.

Bellie710 · 07/02/2022 17:46

I own a cafe and do not mind at all if toddlers have their own food, loads of people do it. The only slightly annoying thing is if they have blueberries and they go all over the floor. If the adult is ordering lunch and drinks etc it makes no difference to me what the child is eating. Now if you brought a McDonalds in I might have an issue but not homemade food.

RealBecca · 07/02/2022 17:47

Depends on the kids option. If all they offer is chicken nuggets or fish fingers and chips and the lunch you make him is healthier then I think its fine.

containsnuts · 07/02/2022 17:48

I also think it depends how often you visit a particular place. We visit the above places often, have seasons tickets and staff recognise us. Each time we buy small bits like coffee, crisps, empire buiscuit or something so they get plenty business from us therefore I don’t think they mind the odd half sandwich and banana brought in. Again, I wouldn't dream of walking into a formal restaurant for the first time without buying anything and opening a huge packed lunch!

AnotherLongDay · 07/02/2022 17:48

When people are saying ‘get him a toastie’ that means a toasted sandwich with cheese and/or ham in it, not just ‘toast’

YourHandInMyHand · 07/02/2022 17:48

I have always given them some of mine (unless I can order them some toast) until they're old enough that I'm disappointed with how much of mine they're stealing. 😂 Then they get their own ordered.

Other than the occasional rice cake for a cranky baby I'd not be getting a packed lunch out in a cafe for any aged child.

Monopolyiscrap · 07/02/2022 17:50

At that age I just fed them something from my plate.

blyn72 · 07/02/2022 17:52

@RealBecca

Depends on the kids option. If all they offer is chicken nuggets or fish fingers and chips and the lunch you make him is healthier then I think its fine.
There's nothing wrong with fish fingers and chips sometimes. If that was all the child ate it would be a different matter but once a week is nice. Mine used to have fish fingers or sausages and chips in a cafe at that age, with peas. He liked eating out.
MsTSwift · 07/02/2022 17:52

Urgh rice cakes. I never gave my kids those when they were toddlers as everyone else seemed to as I thought they were gross and weirdly absolutely stank. Now my girls are teens guess what their favourite snack is….🙄

JuergenSchwarzwald · 07/02/2022 17:53

A single person is allowed to take up a table, who cares if that person also has a kid with them

I agree with this. Depends on how busy the cafe is, too.

It's down to the cafe owner really - I am sure they would tell you if they thought you were being cheeky or if they thought your child was too old. Trying to think back to when ds was 18 months old - I think we used to buy carrot cake and share it with him :)

jevoudrais · 07/02/2022 17:53

I have an 18 month old and so similarly.

I get food for me and give her some to try but she inevitably rejects it. So then I end up giving her things from the change bag like crackers, rice cakes, homemade flapjack/muffin etc.

Also everywhere I go food is SO hot I have to give her something else whilst we wait for it to cool down. Be it a cheese toastie, scrambled egg etc.

FlippityFlippityFlop · 07/02/2022 17:54

@MsTSwift

I think some parents get “stuck” in a stage and don’t realise it’s time to move on! Tiny baby this is fine strapping toddler it’s not. We ate out with relatives who insisted on a child meal for their strapping active 8 year old. He scoffed it and announced he was still hungry…
To be honest I would be getting a child meal for an 8 year old! Probably up until they went to secondary school at a minimum!
Ducksurprise · 07/02/2022 17:54

@MsTSwift

Urgh rice cakes. I never gave my kids those when they were toddlers as everyone else seemed to as I thought they were gross and weirdly absolutely stank. Now my girls are teens guess what their favourite snack is….🙄
Grin
jevoudrais · 07/02/2022 17:54

The flip side of this is I ordered my 18 month old a pizza off the kids menu yesterday. It was as if as an adult one, just without basil on top. She didn't eat any. But that's my tea sorted tonight Grin

Gonnagetgoing · 07/02/2022 17:55

A friend of mine owns a small cafe (fry ups but also does nice cakes).

She allows sharing of food between parents and young kids and also brought in snacks but she also has lots of snacks (small chopped fruit bags, bear fruit crisps, Pom bears etc) for sale.

She does encourage kids from 2-3 to order from the kids menu, she says it doesn’t matter if it’s toast or chips rather than an actual kids meal.

She said at one point there were a group of mums who came and ordered tea/coffee, with one cake and made it last all morning and even going into lunchtime. Then one of them brought sandwiches and she had a word with much knashing of teeth. But they came back but without sandwiches.

I’d never sit down in a cafe or restaurant and eat my own food, even a chocolate 🍫 bar when I’m starving I won’t do as it’s rude!

Looks like OP will crack on regardless despite at least a few cafe workers who say it’s not on!

I’d put myself in the shoes of the cafes to be honest. And at least ask if it’s ok. Even re giving your own snacks.

Chely · 07/02/2022 17:55

This is a bit off unless they have special nutritional requirements. I only take food from home to cafes etc when they are babies.

ChocolateMassacre · 07/02/2022 17:57

@jevoudrais

I have an 18 month old and so similarly.

I get food for me and give her some to try but she inevitably rejects it. So then I end up giving her things from the change bag like crackers, rice cakes, homemade flapjack/muffin etc.

Also everywhere I go food is SO hot I have to give her something else whilst we wait for it to cool down. Be it a cheese toastie, scrambled egg etc.

I agree with this. Quite often it takes until the adults have finished the meal for the food to cool down enough for my DS to eat it.
OfstedOffred · 07/02/2022 17:57

That's weird.

I think ok to take some extra bits to accommodate picky toddler etc but I would buy something for them as well otherwise they are occupying space in the cafe but not providing any income to the cafe owner.

Brainfogmcfogface · 07/02/2022 17:58

That’s weird, I’ve never considered bringing food to a cafe for my kids at any age, never known it to be a thing.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/02/2022 17:59

I don't see how me picking up his half eaten sandwich and putting it back in his empty box, makes more mess than picking up a half eaten cafe bought toastie

If he is eating sandwiches from a packed lunch he should be able to eat the same from the cafe.

If you ask cafes will do a plain sandwich for you and any special requests such as without butter, just cheese that must be 1.2mm thick, crusts off and cut into perfectly equal sized triangles 🤣. If it is quiet and you know the staff well enough to ask, they can also do some toddler friendly salad bits on the side such as slices of cucumber, tomatoes, chunks of cheese, raw carrot etc.