Am I dead and don't know it? Am I the guy in the Sixth Sense?

[whysonasty]

Just texted a friend who I'm supposed to have dinner with. He comes back with "OMG, I am out of the country. Completely forgot about you!"

Fine. Fine. But it's just the latest in a long line of being forgotten about and I'd love to know why I'm apparently so forgettable! I'd ask him but I'd get a non answer. I can provide many sad examples for readers who need to cheer themselves up about their own lives if they so wish. I mean... even bloody automatic doors don't see me and I've been squashed more times than I care to admit.

AIBU to ask if I could be dead and not know it? If so, can anyone out there see dead people who don't know they're dead so I can have someone reliable to talk to.

I've just come back from a sports' club lunch. DH and I were on a table with another couple. The waitress came around with a steaming teapot, asking everyone at the table 'would you like tea instead of coffee? you, madam? you sir? and you, sir?'

I waited smilingly but after she had asked the others, without so much as glance at me she whisked herself and her tantalising teapot away.

Then there was the time we turned up at my MIL and PIL's for lunch. It was Easter. There was a big shiny Easter egg at every place. Except mine. The empty spot was never mentioned and in fact I joined in admiring each egg as it was picked up and oohed and ahhhed over. "Oooh yes what a lovely one." "That does look nice," etc.

I guess ghosts don't eat Easter eggs - ?

Another middle child here - never thought of that before as a reason!

I feel the same except it's not so much people forgetting me, it's people literally walking in to me. Happens all the time. Am I invisible?

@LyndaSnellsSniff Sorry, had some spooky shit to do.

I am indeed the middle child.

I’m an invisible youngest of three.

Some of this ‘invisibility’ is obviously the result of sexism or ableism — and some posts are very funny — but reading some of them makes me want to ask ‘What are the consequences of overlooking you?’ Because it sounds as if in many cases, posters are colluding in their own ‘invisibility’ by not asserting themselves, allowing themselves to be left out of wedding photos or meeting minutes or Easter egg distribution without protest, or not saying ‘Thank you, Brian, I think you’ll find I made exactly the same point ten minutes ago, with the difference that I also said X.’

If people are aware that there are no consequences for overlooking you, you become the person who can be overlooked with impunity, whether that’s conscious or not.

Why is there a whole thread with just nothing on it???

Bad news. Yes you are dead and yes you don’t know about it. Your task in this multiverse is to make sense of the events that led to this (your 24th? Remember?) and find a way back. Good luck

@Oldh

Why is there a whole thread with just nothing on it???

Maybe if I go get some ghosty chains to clank around people won't close doors on me or walk into me!

Oh I do say something btw, which they ignore.

Are they rude or am I just a spirit destined to walk the world alone, like The Incredible Hulk.

If people are aware that there are no consequences for overlooking you, you become the person who can be overlooked with impunity, whether that’s conscious or not.

There is probably a lot of truth in this. I am never overlooked at work, and rarely by friends, but when it comes to family I am always accommodating and not-difficult, and they know I won't make a fuss.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

If people are aware that there are no consequences for overlooking you, you become the person who can be overlooked with impunity, whether that’s conscious or not.

There is probably a lot of truth in this. I am never overlooked at work, and rarely by friends, but when it comes to family I am always accommodating and not-difficult, and they know I won't make a fuss.

I didn’t mean to sound ‘victim’-blaming, because obviously other people’s behaviour is on them, ultimately, but I can see how it happens in someone like my mother’s case. She is a chronic people-pleaser who is terrified of being disliked, and in ‘conversation’ with other people, all she does is nod along, agree, and say ‘Oh, really’ or ‘Yes’, and she will take a phone call in the middle of a family dinner and stand at the phone listening to an hour-long monologue about people she’s never met without even contemplating changing the direction of the conversation, interrupting, or saying ‘I need to go now’. The other person is being rude, obviously, but my mother is continually allowing it. It’s perfectly possible the people who phone her think ‘I just had a lovely catch-up with X’. They have no idea that she’s in the middle of dinner, because my mother never says, and she always answers the phone — if asked, she’ll say, ‘Oh, she knows I’m always at home, and she’d think I’m ignoring her.’

I didn’t mean to sound ‘victim’-blaming

Oh I didn't take it that way - I think your point was valid. We sometimes need to step out of our comfort zones and insist on being noticed, rather than waiting quietly for others to notice us.

I just got locked in the building I do yoga in 😶

Hello…? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO????!

Being dead isn’t as peaceful as I thought it would be.

Om shanti 😕

Perhaps we should form a band? Ghoul's Aloud, perhaps.

My parents forgot my 16th birthday. Often see photos of "the gang" and I am not in it. Notorious thread-killer. Frequently find myself saying, "Hello?? Can you see me??"

Also, it's some kind of major bullshit to be dead AND have chronic pain.

Ah jaysus, I've even killed this thread

@ClawedButler

Ah jaysus, I've even killed this thread

@inevitablytired

I definitely think you're living my life! Down to the automatic door thing.

I often find I say something and get no response, then somebody else says it louder thinking they've come up with it and everyone responds!

I also make people jump all the time as they don't realise I'm there. I've always thought I was just light footed, but now you have me thinking!

I get the someone else taking credit for what I've said and it's usually something funny.

SomethingSuss the next car I get will be red, orange or lime green