Am I dead and don't know it? Am I the guy in the Sixth Sense?

[whysonasty]

Just texted a friend who I'm supposed to have dinner with. He comes back with "OMG, I am out of the country. Completely forgot about you!"

Fine. Fine. But it's just the latest in a long line of being forgotten about and I'd love to know why I'm apparently so forgettable! I'd ask him but I'd get a non answer. I can provide many sad examples for readers who need to cheer themselves up about their own lives if they so wish. I mean... even bloody automatic doors don't see me and I've been squashed more times than I care to admit.

AIBU to ask if I could be dead and not know it? If so, can anyone out there see dead people who don't know they're dead so I can have someone reliable to talk to.

For the posters talking about one sided listening and friends switching off when you talk I completely get this - I feel I am the listening fucking wall, a presence to off-load on but struck mute so comment is forbidden. Attempts to communicate results in the person sharing their words disppearing.

I was speaking to a friend yesterday and halfway through they walked off. Either they're rude, or I died and no one told me. Or I'm boring 🤔

Not for the first time either. I also get stuck in automatic doors as they close like I'm not there. Hmm..

Invisibleness is a symptom of the menopause.

I pretend it's a useful thing, like Harry Potter's cloak

@flapjackfairy

I find most of my posts are ignored on here and are often the last one on a thread. So not only am I dead but I am the thread killer aswell.

Same.

Thread killers unite!

Oh, wow, I'm with you all! That explains a lot. I have another one... my name's been left off the team meeting minutes for about a year... I've just been waiting as icba. but as a pp commented - why have I been going???

This is me. You are describing me.

Happens all the time. Especially when doing the shop, the assistant is working away busy as a bee helping everyone and chatting then once it's my turn, they wander off to answer the phone that was ringing the whole time, or do a money drop or hand off and I'm left standing there like an idiot waiting 10 mins for someone to come back.

I did a college course with two others that I thought were pals, they had the best fun laughing and joking in the car there and back while any interaction I made was ignored

I'm never remembered, rarely included.

I read once here that if this happens, to call a serial offender out, you should make a sarcastic comment like:

" it seems I have powers of invisibility, should I use them for good or for evil?!"

Or
"My god, I seem to have worn my invisibility cloak today, I need to take this thing off!".

I have said these sentences one time.

I was ignored.

@Playdead

I can see you OP. Love the puns . Also I can sympathise. I get forgotten about for family parties all the time (well pre-covid). I’ll get an invitation the day before if I’m lucky.

My car is also a ghost. It’s bleugh grey and even if I have my lights on people will constantly pull out in front of me. I’m always saying “am I invisible?”.

My mum has a grey car. We live near each other in adjacent villages and no matter how many times we have driven past each other, I have never seen her. She'll mention it every time I speak to her. The new grey cars almost meld with the colour of the road and background and I can see why you'd feel like it's a ghost. Mum's is a pretty car but I'd never feel safe in it. Strange, that. Even with lights it's almost camouflaged.

I guess 'Sixth Sense' is a film I don't need to watch now?!

@flapjackfairy

I find most of my posts are ignored on here and are often the last one on a thread. So not only am I dead but I am the thread killer aswell.

I get this either that or it is some nit picker responding to me about something irrelevant to the original post. Maybe the nit pickets are fellow afterlifers butter due unresolved grievances in life.

I get talked over A LOT in the staff room in work on the rare times I manage to get a word in, I mean I'm a bit more quietly spoken than some of my colleagues but even if I'm really boring then surely it's still polite to listen, I'm not one to go on and on. I hadn't considered though that I might be dead. Will look in to that 😆

I'm often ignored, too. It all started when I was a kid and my parents frequently ignored me.
But now I sort of expect to be ignored and not remembered.
Just as well.
I don't mind any more :)

@YellowLemonshade I saw it years ago, but I think from what I remember you'd still be ok... don't think the game's up quite yet!

I'm going to change my username to sadghostclub . In one job I had no one noticed I was on leave for a week. I know my office was sort of an outpost and most of the other employees were in and out a lot but even so. I seem to be very easy to not notice, ignore and take for granted. I feel your pain op. It hurts.

I get this, too! I’m the listening ear for people who are then ‘too busy’ for me. Here’s my take: on some level, it’s bloody convenient to be invisible (I mean, it’s not a superpower for no reason, is it?). I get to observe people closely and see what makes them tick without worrying that I’m going to be seen too closely in all my warts’n’all reality and messy vulnerability. BUT all superpowers have a downside. It hurts like hell to feel unseen on the occasions when you really want people to see you. It’s one way. All I can offer from experience is allowing in your feelings in response to others, saying ‘hi, I’m over here’ a few times. At first, it’s disconcerting because it seriously weeds out all the emotional vampires in your life (asking for empathy is like garlic and crucifixes to them). You can feel very shaky at first but, over time, like-minded folk tune in to your signals and you begin to attract more equal relationships into your life.

This happens to me sometimes but I assume that it's them and not me. The worst is when inanimate objects fail to 'see' me, like automatic doors. Two nights ago I went into the utility room, which has a motion activated light, and the light didn't go on. I assumed that the bulb had gone, but the light went on just as I left.

@LimeSegment

I'll definitely join you in the ghost club.

At work sometimes I am paged (hospital). I arrive and everyone is standing around waiting for me. "Hi, I'm here from x team" I announce loudly. Everyone ignores me... sometimes they are complaining that I am not there yet. "HELLO I AM HERE" I practically yell.... Still no one sees me. Sometimes an intern sees me and quickly looks away instead of alerting others. Maybe they think they've seen a ghost.

It would be excellent if you turned out to be spectral Julie from the ‘Did I see a ghost?’ current thread, the ghost nurse still showing up for work at the hospital long after her untimely death.

ooo there is a book by Christopher Priest called The Glamour bit of a thriller - it is about this phenomenon - that some people are invisible but can use it to their advantage ... it's a good book www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/106924.The_Glamour

I don't have problems with automatic doors (I guess I am enough of a lump to trigger the sensor)

However, my brother (who I see regularly) forgot to invite me to his annual friends and family Christmas party. I am not sure how many years I missed before I found out about it. So, not only did he forget to invite me, but no one actually noticed that I wasn't there.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar I went into the toilet at work, where the motion-activated light was still on, from the last (living) person, I assume, and the light went off. Disconcerting, that.

People also use my ideas and don't realise I am working on a project. Even when I've been doing the project for +/- 2 years...They've just thanked all the other people who do it peripherally!

I definitely think you're living my life! Down to the automatic door thing.

I often find I say something and get no response, then somebody else says it louder thinking they've come up with it and everyone responds!

I also make people jump all the time as they don't realise I'm there. I've always thought I was just light footed, but now you have me thinking!

I feel the same often! Automatic doors don't see me, the bloody Alexa doesn't hear me but hears everyone else, I walk up to a group of people and they don't notice me, I say excuse me 50 times to no avail. One friend once suggested I start wearing squeaky shoes, so that's an option you could consider, I suppose.

@PostThenGhost
Mid conversation co worker turns and says she’s going to make coffee -after I’ve spent 10 mins listening to the mind numbing details of her latest fling and then dared to start uttering a sentence about something in my life-or she just turns her back on me to talk to colleague who’s just arrived in the office.

Most people in society aren’t wankers, but many, many are. Enough so that in our First Past the Post electoral system, a Wanker Party would have a realistic shot at forming the government. Oh …

I smell burnings - no spoilers, waiting for the back story ( series 3 ? )
Op - Sorry about the invisible thing, as a small mousey middle aged woman I am not entirely unfamiliar- I’m tying to figure out ways to turn it into a super power

I got left out of the family photos at my brother's wedding (I am his only sister). I stood patiently waiting through one thousand boring groups, and then suddenly everyone charged off to the dining room because the food needed to be served. I could either make a fuss or let it go, which I did.

Then when the inevitable book of formal photos came out they had added an obviously random snap of me waiting patiently, watching the others being photographed! And then my DM tried to laugh it off as me dodging the photographs! They are lucky I am forbearing.

It is comforting to share experiences and see the funny side Thanks for this thread OP.

Bless you OP.

You must be poor old nurse Julie. May you rest in peace