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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have loitered around with my dog?

73 replies

ShittyFingers · 05/02/2022 08:49

I live in an area where everybody has a dog, especially since lockdown.

There is a large pedestrianised walk starting from the side of my house - large grass verges on either side, trees, open spaces, no roads etc. unfortunately this attracts irresponsible dog owners who let their dogs off lead with no recall “to play”.

It’s been mentioned on the neighbourhood Facebook group loads of times asking people not to let their dogs off lead unless they have brilliant recall as not all dogs want to be approached. It has got slightly better in the last few months.
Anyway, my dog is reactive and nervous so never off lead in public. What I do like to do with her is take her out in this area, give her a longer lead (about 7 foot) and just let her sniff around the grass taking me wherever she wants to go for the first half hour of our walk. This often involves us going back and forth over certain areas as she picks up interesting smells.

This morning a woman was walking up with a dachshund and asked if my dog was friendly. I said she wasn’t so she looked disappointed and said “oh, it’s just that my dogs likes to be off lead” so I replied lightly “I think most dogs like to be off lead! But unless their recall is 100% it isn’t safe”. So she said “oh my dog is fine, he’s very friendly and just likes to play”. So I said “well a lot of dogs don’t like to be approached” … at this point my dog is showing a bit too much interest in her dog so I start moving on but still just milling around, in no rush. She then says loudly to her child “well, that’s our walk ruined! No point if he can’t go off and play”. They then turn and start walking back in the direction they came from!

Was I in the wrong?? I didn’t make much effort to leave the area but why should I?

OP posts:

JugglingJanuary · 05/02/2022 08:54

Yes & no.

She shouldn't complain & she shouldn't have her dog if it's lead if it doesn't have good recall, however, you weren't taking yours off its lead so you could have wandered away from the accepted local off lead area still on lingers lead & plenty for Sniffy mc sniff to sniff.

RedRobin100 · 05/02/2022 08:57

No her problem. Is it not common knowledge you let your dog off lead (and to approach other dogs) at their own risk?
She sounds like a moron. You were perfectly in the right and responsible.

Original poster

ShittyFingers · 05/02/2022 08:59

@JugglingJanuary

Yes & no.

It’s not acceptable to have uncontrolled dogs off lead around here or anywhere in public.

OP posts:

RedRobin100 · 05/02/2022 08:59

If she wants to let her dog off where it’s more safe to do so she can go find a dog park. You shouldn’t have to leave just because she arrives

Chasingaftermidnight · 05/02/2022 09:01

Well as the fellow owner of a nervous dog I’ve got a lot of sympathy about irresponsible dog owners who let their dogs bound up to yours - it’s infuriating. But that isn’t what this woman did - she asked first.

I’m just not sure why one or both of you couldn’t have moved so that her dog could have the space to be off lead and your dog had the space to sniff uninterrupted?

pigsDOfly · 05/02/2022 09:04

No of course you should have to leave the area your dog was having a walk.

So she cut her dog's walk because she couldn't let the dog off lead? She's being ridiculous.

You can't be expected to accommodate her dog's desire to run up to every other dog and want to play.

My dog doesn't want to play with other dogs, she's not reactive, she's just not interested in being leaped all over by other dogs.

If her dog can't have a walk without being off lead or over 'friendly' then that's her problem.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 05/02/2022 09:05

My dogs got about 98% recall. I let her off lead for sniffing etc , but when we see a dog A) we don't know. B) on a lead , I call her back and put her lead back on.
Some dogs are reactive. Some dogs are very nervous.
We moved to a
Different area due to lockdown dogs with no training/manners
It's not that hard to train your dog to have manners.
I feel for you OP, the woman was the issue.

Original poster

ShittyFingers · 05/02/2022 09:06

But what is it doing off lead if it has no recall? What if it saw a cat or something? And what if they come across another dog further up who doesn’t want to be approached?

OP posts:

FolornLawn · 05/02/2022 09:10

But she didn’t say her dog has no recall.

Lazypuppy · 05/02/2022 09:15

It is frustrating when a dog owner who is keeping dog on lead stays in the area where i could let my dog off. Theres nkt many areas for that, whereas an on lead dog can be walked anywhere, so i think you were a little unreasonable to not carry on walking.

RedRobin100 · 05/02/2022 09:15

It’s probably Safe to assume It had no recall..

FuckYouPenny · 05/02/2022 09:17

My dog has brilliant recall but nothing is 100% guaranteed. I think she was mean to say that to you, there was no need
Her choice to call her walk to an end

ThinWomansBrain · 05/02/2022 09:18

if the woman's dog had 100% recall, she'd have let him off the lead presumably?
the fact she said "he likes to play" kind of implies that if she;d let him off lead he'd have wanted to "play" with OP's dog, who by the sound of it would have been less keen.

Gizacluethen · 05/02/2022 09:22

You should have just said "dogs are inly allowed off lead around here if they have perfect recall and don't approach other dogs." And left it at that. She's blaming you for not being able to do something she's not allowed to do.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 05/02/2022 09:23

@ShittyFingers

But what is it doing off lead if it has no recall? What if it saw a cat or something? And what if they come across another dog further up who doesn’t want to be approached?

I'm not sure if this was aimed at me , apologies if not. Where we walk is 20acres of nothing. It's very rare we do see another dog, apart from our meet ups. She never wanders far from me as she has bad anxieties. Even if she sniffs a rabbit , yes she runs . But not far as she always wants me in her eye line. She rarely bolts for another dog. We have a word that I've trained her for. On long lead, She waits. I put the lead on. We , if other owner allows , let them do the round in circle walk. Then we carry on. Manners go both ways imo.

I may look a nutter though on a field crouched down with my arm in the air, but that's how I trained her. And it works. Along with chicken and pate

pigsDOfly · 05/02/2022 09:24

@pigsDOfly

No of course you should have to leave the area your dog was having a walk.

So she cut her dog's walk because she couldn't let the dog off lead? She's being ridiculous.

You can't be expected to accommodate her dog's desire to run up to every other dog and want to play.

My dog doesn't want to play with other dogs, she's not reactive, she's just not interested in being leaped all over by other dogs.

If her dog can't have a walk without being off lead or over 'friendly' then that's her problem.

*That should be No of course you shouldn't have to leave

Completely changes the sense of what I was saying.

Original poster

ShittyFingers · 05/02/2022 09:27

@drinkingwineoutofamug

No sorry, It wasn’t directed at you, you sound like a responsible owner ☺️ It was directed at whoever said I should have moved on so she could let her dog off lead

OP posts:

gogohm · 05/02/2022 09:30

If it's an area where dogs can be off lead it is not a great idea to take a reactive dog. Many places do not allow dogs off lead - that's a far better option if you have a reactive dog. You lectured her on recall when you had no idea how good her dogs recall is. It seems unfair to keep walking up and down the area where dogs can be offlead if you don't want yours approached

drinkingwineoutofamug · 05/02/2022 09:31

That's ok. It's been a lot of work but got there. When I first got dog she was feral. 18months old and no training whatsoever . It was posters on this board that gave me tips and directions.
She's now nearly 5 and we cracked it.
Like I said even though I have looked like a nutter in a field, jumping over tuffets and crouching on the ground😂
You keep walking and ignore people like that. She gives dog owner a bad impression.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 05/02/2022 09:33

Not this board I would of been slaughtered , but on the doghouse 😂
I was that bad owner 3 years ago 😬

GeneLovesJezebel · 05/02/2022 09:34

She asked and you answered. End of.

Clymene · 05/02/2022 09:34

@Lazypuppy

If you can't trust your dog not to approach on lead dogs, it shouldn't be off lead.

Iamkmackered1979 · 05/02/2022 09:36

Nonsense if your dog is off lead in public it needs to be under control which means a bullet proof recall so you can call it back from the likes of op dog or kids/squirrels etc it’s not a free for all for your dog to just do what it likes. Op has as much right to walk her dog there as off lead people but you do need to train your dog not just let it off and hope for the best.

Original poster

ShittyFingers · 05/02/2022 09:37

@drinkingwineoutofamug

That's ok. It's been a lot of work but got there. When I first got dog she was feral. 18months old and no training whatsoever . It was posters on this board that gave me tips and directions. She's now nearly 5 and we cracked it. Like I said even though I have looked like a nutter in a field, jumping over tuffets and crouching on the ground😂 You keep walking and ignore people like that. She gives dog owner a bad impression.

Oh I often look like a nutter, don’t worry about it! One of the things my trainer told me was that I have to be entertaining to my dog than other dogs … so I’m often seen jumping around, screeching, dancing and flailing my arms around like an absolute loon to keep my dog interested 😂 I don’t care anymore!

OP posts:

pandyandy1 · 05/02/2022 09:38

I totally agree that dogs with no/very poor recall should not be off the lead.

But (and I am genuinely not been antagonistic) mistakes do happen with (particularly young dogs,) whilst they are being trained.

Ie I totally agree with the a pp, that dogs can absolutely be trained to have manners (and I myself have worked incredibly hard this last year to train my young dog, who now has dam near accurate recall.) But, even after initial garden recall training no distractions; garden with distractions; long line recall training at the park no distractions; long line at the park with distractions; off lead recall training no distractions; off lead recall with distractions... just when we thought we had cracked it - the pups excitement would just get the better of him, and he would try to say hello .

Like I say, he is very good now, and if the above did happen it was back to the long line (and I would tell the other dog owner that,) but like little children, when learning, odd mistakes can happen, and it was awful if shouted at by that one owner who didn't accept an apology and explanation of age/training.

Having said all of the above, you shouldn't have to walk elsewhere op, so glad you stayed. If that woman wants her dig off lead, it needs to be trained.

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